2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When clients come to me with a request that they are not confident in themselves and are dissatisfied with themselves, then it seems to them that if they improve themselves, develop some super qualities and superpowers, or become more perfect or more ideal, then then they will be happy with themselves and confident.
And often they do not accept their weaknesses, considering them interfering with themselves.
And often they want to get rid of something and change.
And how surprised and even perplexed they are that I suggest that they accept their weaknesses, and not get rid of them.
And when they go this way and they manage to accept some of their weaknesses, then they suddenly discover how useful these weaknesses can be for them.
And how much energy they release for life, which was used to negate these weaknesses.
And how many opportunities open up before them when they recognize these sides in themselves.
It's like opening a treasure chest that was kept under lock and key. And use them for your own good, and not hide them.
Since clients are often surprised by the offer of such work, I assumed that it would probably be useful for them to learn more about it. What this work is based on. And why this work is given great attention in gestalt therapy.
This work is based on the principle of human integrity (the principle of holism), on the theory of polarities and on the paradoxical theory of change by Arnold Beisser.
This work of integrating the two polarities is often proposed to be done in the form of a dialogue between these parties.
The technique used for this is called "Two Chairs".
I suggest that the client take turns to sit on one or the other chair.
And on each chair, he associates himself with one of the two sides / parts.
One accepted and approved by him.
The other is denied / rejected by him and seemingly interfering.
And in the process of this dialogue, the client lives himself in the role of one and the other of his parts.
And when he notices these parts, feels like he is in each role, then suddenly it is revealed that in the position of the rejected part he opens up many new opportunities for himself, sees the power of this, feels an upsurge of energy.
And this helps him to appropriate this rejected part for himself and start using it for his own good.
And then he has more flexibility and options for action.
And thanks to this, he can seek and try new ways to meet his needs. Those methods that were not available to him until he accepted this denied part.
What do you think about this?
Do you have parts that are difficult for you to accept?
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