HOW TO STOP BLOWING YOURSELF FOR WORK?

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Video: HOW TO STOP BLOWING YOURSELF FOR WORK?

Video: HOW TO STOP BLOWING YOURSELF FOR WORK?
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HOW TO STOP BLOWING YOURSELF FOR WORK?
HOW TO STOP BLOWING YOURSELF FOR WORK?
Anonim

Perfectionist standards are not just high, they are unattainable.

The sky-high goals cannot be met, and the perfectionist labels himself: lazy, disorganized, incompetent …

However, read the story, everything is clear and without clever words.

Girl Tanya has been very diligent and hardworking since childhood. Everything she did, she did carefully, checking the correctness and quality of the work performed several times. She had this habit a long, long time ago. And there seemed to be nothing wrong with her. Tanya was a successful student, assiduous, hardworking.

In the family, views differed slightly. Mom thought she could do better. Dad was proud of his daughter, despite her achievements.

Tanya grew up, became a respected Tatyana Mikhailovna. Serious, businesslike, purposeful. Something needs to be done thoroughly and on a tight schedule? Tatiana will not sleep at night, but she will, will bring the matter to the end. A responsible project? Tatyana Mikhailovna will not refuse him, he is within her power, she will try.

Only bad luck! Handing over the project, finishing the job, she will also remain unhappy with him, although, nevertheless, for a minute, she will allow the thought that she can be proud of herself. But only for a fraction of a second. Further, the oppressive internal struggle of her fierce critic and a self-satisfied woman begins.

This critic, though small, is very stubborn and assertive. It's hard for him to please. He demands more, better, more perfect. He loves to compare Tanya with colleagues, her friends. And all the time the comparison is not in favor of Tanin. And even when her adult, self-confident part claims that she is a fine fellow, that she did everything in her power, that she can be proud of herself, the little critic, gritting his teeth, begins to censure her, look for mistakes, point out them and devalue everything that has already been done. All his comments and remarks make Tanya feel disgusting, insignificant. And then the grown-up, self-confident Tatyana Mikhailovna turns into a little defenseless Tanya, who needs support so badly. She wants to hear that she is a fine fellow, that she has done a great job, and she is again pointed out that she can do better, that she should try, strive for excellence. The main thing is that this “decree” is her own!

And she starts to try again. To harass yourself, to work - to work - to work … And still not to feel that so necessary pleasure, which gives energy and the desire to do something, create, achieve!..

Perhaps you recognized yourself in this portrait? Or your close friend?

Be perfect! Be the best! Do you think this is possible at all? 95% do not just think so, they are unquestioningly confident in this. And, moreover, all their conscious life they stubbornly strive for this! In the scientific literature, such people are called perfectionists. Usually they have an irresistible desire to do everything they do with high quality. But, only their standards are not just high, they are unattainable. The presence of such a feature is rather difficult to correct. But, you can track it in yourself.

What are the signs that you have a share of perfectionism?

1. Can't you watch if there is chaos or disorder somewhere? For example, the curtain is slightly offset. The perfectionist will certainly run to correct her!

2. You measure everything carefully. According to the principle - measure 7 times, 1 cut. And you are very frightened by the phrase: "A pinch of salt." You need clear grams, which you will certainly start measuring out before adding salt to your soup. And not only salt! God forbid throwing more than you need carrots or beans.

3. You check what you have done 1000 times. You re-read what you have written, you look for mistakes. Find and get very upset!

4. You always need standards! How right, how good …

5. You are never, or very rarely, happy with what you have already done.

6. You are constantly comparing yourself to others. And, naturally, you think that you are much worse!

So how do you stop berating yourself for your work and be happy with what has already been done?

First, try admit the fact that you have this trait! Don't be afraid of this word - perfectionism. This is not a diagnosis or a sentence! This is just your feature. We can say a character trait, which, moreover, was formed in the process of education. This means that its influence on your life can be weakened. And recognition, awareness of it in oneself is the first step towards this!

Secondly, learn to negotiate with yourself … For example, in how much time you will spend on a particular activity. Such a limit will allow you not to get stuck on one process and will allow you to do everything once and as well as possible. Tell yourself that you get down to business once, thoroughly, and that this is the best thing you can do. This way, you won't be tempted to put off and try to improve on a job already well done!

Thirdly, do not be afraid to ask your loved ones, friends or colleagues to evaluate what you have done … This will give you more confidence and encouragement.

It will be nice if you remind yourself from time to time that ideal and perfection are impossible to achieve. These are just abstract images and our ideas, which we need in order to orient ourselves towards something, to strive for something. By keeping this idea in mind, you can at least slightly ease your craving for the perfect result and you can enjoy what you have already done / completed.

If it is difficult for you to work with self-belief, try before starting any work, first, take a sheet of paper, a pen and make a small list of criteria that the work performed must meet. After that, next to each criterion, put an assessment (on a 10-point scale) of how realistic it is and how many points this criterion is from the category of "ideal work". If the criterion came out with a score higher than 6 - feel free to cross it off your list. After that, get to work, after completing it, check how it corresponds to the items on your list. AND feel free to rejoice that you did it and did a great job!

And most importantly, remember that even if your work or any activity has errors, there are shortcomings in it, then this means that you still have something to strive for and grow. But, this does not mean that you should discount what has already been done. Many did not even begin to do this, did not try! Don't be afraid to be imperfect. Do it simply with soul and love!

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