2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What family hasn't gone through crises? If the attitude of two people towards each other has changed, then what is the real reason? Is love gone or is the couple just on the verge of some kind of change to which they need to adapt?
Someone concludes that love has passed, and is looking for happiness on the side, someone first tries to figure out where the crew is flying in an environment of poor visibility, whether it is possible to "taxi" and ensure a safe landing.
It happens that everyone is saved, it happens that someone dies.
There is a beautiful song-metaphor for this "flight".
The film "The Crew" by Alexander Mitta shows the development of relations between the spouses Valentin Nenarokov and Alevtina.
Valentin (Alexander Vasiliev), a tall, handsome pilot, marries a pretty girl from the Alevtin province (Irina Akulova), for her sake he abandons the squadron and goes to small aircraft as a helicopter pilot. But family life is not going well, and Alevtina is constantly "nagging" her husband over trifles. No matter how hard a husband tries to be good, he cannot please his wife.
Probably, someone recognizes himself in this relationship.
Alevtina seems like a hysterical woman who does not know what she wants, she just wants to nag someone. Valentine seems like an exemplary spouse. What is wrong here? Why is there no happiness?
The answers are found only after the divorce, when a calm, confidential conversation between two adults takes place between the former spouses. Alevtina admits that she threw tantrums because she did not love her husband, but got married, because it seemed to her prestigious at that time. Valentin also admits that all the time he lived with his wife he dreamed of big aviation, but suppressed his desires because of the debt to his family, stoically endured her claims, choosing to carry his "cross" to the end.
One who chooses to bear the cross of responsibility without feeling happy cannot make anyone happy.
When a person portrays the role of a hero next to another, preventing him from seeing his weaknesses, he evokes in him a feeling of personal inferiority, because the other behaves, on the contrary, imperfectly, exposing all the impartial sides.
No matter how disgusting Alevtina behaved, Valentin never showed his true emotions. Even when she set a policeman on him, he asked carefully if she was hungry.
This behavior elevated him in his own eyes and in the eyes of others. Alevtina, on the other hand, was given the role of a negative, imperfect character. What reflection of herself could she see in her husband's eyes?
And everything changed when Alevtina began to live with another man, who reflected her not as a hysterical woman, but as an intelligent, caring, excellent cook, a good mother.
It cannot be said unequivocally that Alevtina did not love her ex-husband, she just had to feel a lot of emotional pain with him. Apparently Valentine was touching his wife's narcissistic trauma.
Both bore the burden of resentment from unfulfilled needs. Alevtina saw happiness in one, Valentin - in another.
Each of the spouses, adhering to their rigid role, made not only themselves unhappy, but also the common child, who endlessly acted as a means of manipulation.
As life itself shows, giving up your needs does not lead to happiness. However, it is not always possible to distinguish one's own needs from the needs of another, to discern and recognize them for feelings of guilt, fear, and resentment. A psychologist will help you sort out your thoughts and feelings.
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