The Pitfalls Of Personal Growth And Training

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

As always, I describe my personal experience and what I witnessed watching people who “floated in the same direction” with me and do not pretend to be objective. My article is purely subjective, but the accumulated experience and "eaten dogs" now allow me to navigate this topic like a fish in water.

We are talking about personal development in the broadest sense of the word: reading relevant literature, attending trainings on personal growth and related business topics, communicating with Masters (gurus).

Below, I have brought out several important aspects that, willingly, not willingly, you need to pay attention to in self-development. And ask yourself certain questions so that self-development does not turn out to be negative or simply does not turn out to be a struggle with windmills.

Knowledge or information?

What do you think is the difference between knowledge and information? Knowledge is what is chewed, digested (realized) and accepted for execution in life. Information is what a person touches every minute with all five senses.

If, for example, you read a book on psychology, went to a training session, talked to the Guru - everything that you took out from there is information, in fact, a dead weight … improvements at one level or another. The information is dead. Knowledge is alive.

Having engaged in personal growth, each person, I believe, should first of all understand WHAT is accumulating in him: knowledge or information and is there any practical sense from this.

Does it make sense to accumulate in yourself a bunch of information that lies inside, is not used and does not change life for the better? For me personally, no. I don’t understand why to stuff my head (like Plyushkin’s his house) with all sorts of rubbish.

I immediately recall various motivational trainings (which I did not attend, but I saw my other acquaintances after them). Loaded with information and positive, they came out full of hopes, with glowing eyes, supermen and superwomen in order to move mountains ….. and after three months they were blown away and forgot about everything. Lacking motivation again?

It is unlikely, I think, just the information in my head and remained information. She did not pass into the category of conscious and accepted in life. One fuse is not enough, it is necessary that someone constantly kicks, this also happens. But no one will give you kicks except yourself, yes, because everyone has their own problems and needs, everyone lives their own life, which is most interesting to him. You can also go to training on the development of will:)) to learn how to kick yourself. After this training, realize that you are in trouble with time management…. and go there…. then go back to something else, to understand that you still have to work and work on yourself and go crazy with despair. In this case, only those specialists to whom you pay money for this will be happy.

How to be?

You can read, develop, go to trainings forever, but you still can't solve the problem (although it is sacred to believe that it will EVER be solved, there are simply too many karmic ties, it is not allowed by nature, or the ban is worth, or the cat crossed the road or you need to forgive it -that-and more so that everything is ok). WHEN TO LIVE ???? When, here, just to live? Breathe, smile, cry, get angry, laugh, feel, learn and wonder….

Therefore, you should be able to filter information: from the whole heap of information, choose what suits you, what YOURS, and whatever you do, what is alien to you (in terms of worldview, values, tastes, and so on). Or maybe the time hasn’t come yet.

Those extracts from information can be turned into knowledge. Start applying in life and see if something changes for the better. But with all this, be like a blank slate and be able to hear and listen to everything around you in order to avoid ossification of the mind. When the latter grows stiff, the person begins to grow old.

Such knowledge can always come, which at any moment will be able to change your life for the better! Even if you think you know everything.

In any case, we did not come here to be perfect or to make our life perfect. The ideal does not exist, since everyone has their own concept of the ideal.

There are too many circumstances and situations in the world that influence us, make us react in one way or another, and only God alone knows how much this "way of reacting" is consonant with the laws of the Universe, ethics and fig knows what else. And certainly no one living on earth has the right to judge the harmony, ethics, correctness of your deed, since the knowledge and perception of any person is subjective and far from objectivity. Mine too.

After all, there are no bad people, there are people for whom we simply do not have enough spiritual strength.

It is very important, I believe, to maintain a delicate balance between a bunch of information, confidence in omniscience, the ability to filter and be "like a blank slate" with all this

“I know I know nothing” Socrates.

Am I in my truth?

Each person dwells in one way or another in his own truth (subjectivity). And sees the world through her. Therefore, the saying "How many people, so many opinions" very accurately reflects our reality. This is good and not good, but it just is.

Therefore, after each training or read a book on self-development, a person makes something of their own for themselves and understands the information received in their own way. That is, it is not a fact that the author was going to convey the information exactly as you understood it. It's just that you understood her the way you would like to understand(or how mental resources allowed, or needs in life at the moment, or wisdom, and so on).

And then an example comes to mind. Typical women's training. After them, one girl comes out and begins to consider herself a queen, looking for a rich prince and thinking that men should fold at her feet. But she did not hear any other information from the training that at first she had to put herself in order not only externally, but also internally. The second comes out and thinks that she will grow and grow even before such a queen and begins to delve into herself in order to change something. The third did not hear anything about the queen, but she heard about the “Vedic wife” and tries her best to “serve”, instead of “serving” (as Chatsky said, this is not good). The fourth in general heard something of her own, not amenable to description.

Bottom line: all the ladies went to their burrows and very soon they will remake the information from the training for themselves in such a way that the author of the training himself will be horrified and say that he did not say this and in general he had nothing to do with it.

How to be?

I do not think that you can somehow get rid of your truth and is it worth doing? I cannot imagine how in the conditions of our life it is possible to maintain purity of mind and heart in all areas of our being. Only if you go into hermits. I only understand that it is within the power of any person to do everything that he can for his own happiness and will be with him. "Save yourself and many will be saved around." The only question is how to do something for your happiness, when you look at everything through your truth.

Probably the best practice here would be the practice that the holy fathers usually used: to constantly cleanse the mind and heart of "charm", be below the grass and quieter than water and learn to hear the world around you: notice signs, be open to dialogue and react quickly to changes.

No one is immune from mistakes, the main thing is to learn a lesson from them in time and try not to step on the same rake. The ideal does not lead to happiness. Fortunately, the desire and ability to live life to your liking, I think, leads

How wide is the individual approach to me?

How do you change your life and solve problems? Do you just read books on personal growth and go to trainings that interest you or take private consultations?

I can confidently say that any book is aimed at the general public and general problems. Exactly like any group training. Nobody calculated the training for you and did not write a book for your problems, given:

1.your childhood

2.adult life

3. relationship with people

4. Complexes, fears, weaknesses, as well as desires and aspirations.

5. And then there's a list of sub-items.

That is, a training or a book can address common pain: "How to get married?", "How to make a million?", "How to keep a family?", "How to learn to achieve a goal?"

And the private components are not particularly taken into account here. For example, the tools that are given in the training or in the book on how to make a million may not suit you, because they do not take into account your childhood psychotraumas and attitudes, your generic program, karma, your temperament and the way of motivation that would suit you. It is as if you were given the tools for a hairdresser and you cannot use them because you are a carpenter. After all, you may not be ready for a million (although your brain thinks it is ready). And only a psychologist at a private twentieth consultation can tell you about this. You will be surprised to find that your desire to have a million is false and you will thank the psychologist for the time you have saved (which you could have spent chasing a million).

“Which one of you is a father, when a son asks for bread from him, will he give him a stone? Or, when he asks for a fish, will he give him a snake instead of a fish?"

It is logical that a good "father" will give his son bread if he asked him for bread;).

Yes, a small part of life can be patched up a little with a book or training. You can grab some useful information from these resources. But you need to understand that this or that tool exactly suits you and will definitely benefit, and practical. Can you guarantee yourself this with confidence? Again, each person will answer this question from his own truth.

What do I want to say by this and how to be?

That EVERY PERSON IS UNIQUE and there is no one technique or technique that can suit everyone in a row. A unique program should be drawn up for you in order to solve your issue as quickly and efficiently as possible. Otherwise, your life runs the risk of turning into what a Russian tourist usually puts on his plate in Turkey =). From all this gastronomic variety, it would be good to avoid stomach problems.

The pleasure of personalized service may be expensive…. well, but it will be right on target! The question here is not how much money should be, but rather how to find a really good and honest specialist.

Is there an adaptation to the reality of life?

Personal growth books and trainings, of course, provide inspiring, enjoyable and magical information…. eh, it would still be true! And it would still work really for one hundred percent of the promised. Which we were promised and now please provide.

Of course, I really love Slavic culture and other ancient wisdom. But the "Slavic woman" or "Vedic wife" hardly fits into the realities of our modern life, whatever one may say. This is neither good nor bad, but just the way it is.

Life goes on, everything changes (for the better or for the worse) - as it is, so it is. Why rape the world and yourself, trying to shove yourself, like a modern girl, into the image of an ideal Slavic or Vedic wife? It will not survive in its purest form in the modern world.

Why teach a person to walk with a blissful smile and love the whole world without exception, like Buddhists? An ordinary person should live life to the fullest! And in it, no one canceled emotions, whether they are good or bad. You need to cry if you are sad. You can snap if your Personality is stepped on. It is necessary to prevent impudence and rudeness, if it is addressed to you. You can learn to do this ethically and carefully, but definitely not to keep in yourself and not to swell from the accumulated bad emotions and thoughts, not being able to turn manure into flowers. A full life is complete for that, which includes all the emotional components and the ability to live so as not to blame yourself for anything and not to force yourself, trying to try on this or that image from different methods, cultures, beliefs and mentalities.

If a woman is a careerist, let her go to work, if it makes her happy and good. What's wrong with that?

If a man feels better sitting at home and raising children and he does it best, then why not?

A woman can use foul language if she wants to, and she cannot express emotions in another way at the very moment. And at this very moment, having said something obscenely, she may well feel how a huge load has fallen from her heart.

Ideal business systems and methods that business trainers theorists are trying to fasten to an enterprise cannot always work successfully, because no one has canceled the human factor and the "soul" of business.

The list goes on and on….

How to be?

I personally really appreciate books and trainings where the freedom of the Personality of a person is not violated and where it is taken into account that this person is ALIVE and he has emotions, cockroaches, his views, thoughts, desires and a bunch of nerve endings. Where is the method of non-violence against the Person being promoted, taking into account modern realities. And where is the information from the author of the training alive and mobile, capable of adapting to the reality of a particular person.

In any case, the main goal of our life is to find happiness in one way or another. If a person tightens the belt, puts on a couple of masks, and goes where he was told at the training or in the book and as he was told…. will he be happy? Can this be called a fulfilling life? And does he go to his TRUE dreams at all? This is a very big question.

I wish you, dear readers, not to bother too much about self-development and remember that there is LIFE and it is ready to accept you as you are;). The main thing is that whatever you choose, you should be happy in the end. liashatush (c)