2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If you try to listen to yourself, then you can hear a sufficiently large number of such words as necessary, necessary, should, that there is so little room left for want and desire. And if you also try to determine who "should", then it is understandable close people (relatives, wives, husbands, etc.), employees at work and bosses, there may be completely strangers (you must be polite to them, for example), and a duty to yourself.
The new life does not have time to be born, one might even say at the moment of conception, this new life, i.e. the child, the role and place in the family is predetermined without his will. There is nowhere to go and the child has to take on those obligations that he knows nothing about. What can you do? Not being born is not possible.
Well, he was born and should immediately be healthy, docile (without whims and nocturnal "festivals"), delight both parents and close relatives with their wonderful growth and chubby cheeks. As he grows and develops, he must justify the expectations that were placed on him, and it does not matter that he does not know about them, but must guess. Further, for these lovely parents and other close relatives, he must demonstrate excellent behavior, good academic performance, so that they would not be ashamed of their own child. And the child has no choice but to try to pay off the presented debt. And there can be a lot of these debts.
For example: keeping two adults, dad and mom, together, using illness, behavior, academic performance and much more, which can lead to their unification, discussion and development of a strategy for how to cope with the child, and the situation in general. At the same time, they will continue to tell him what else he should: attend all possible sections, circles, additional seminars and many additional developmental programs, both physically and intellectually. And they know that it will come in handy for the child in the future, and he still has to say thanks to them. Only sometimes parents do not hear their own child (his choice, I want him) and then he may begin to believe that his desires and attempts at self-determination are wrong, not correct, that others know better about his needs, and he should only obey them and realize their desires … Of course, a child can begin to rebel and resist the imposed opinion, to defend his rights to "freedom of choice", as he immediately begins to work off the duty of keeping the parents together.
The time comes and the child becomes an adult, meets the opposite sex, builds relationships and builds them on the basis that he learned from relationships with parents, close relatives and how they treated each other. Well, since everything is done through debt, from time to time I want to, here the fun begins, who owes whom and for what. There are many questions and misunderstandings: the partner must behave the way the other wants. And the other, too, believes that he should behave as he wants. You can, of course, try to negotiate, clarify, but the question arises, who SHOULD take the first step? Or do I still want to try to move each other to a meeting? It may turn out that something else. Who knows how to know …
There is an opportunity to get into the second order: I want to change the situation, so I have to take the first step, or I want to drive a good car, I need to earn money, etc. etc.
And to whom should I? It turns out to be myself.
Here we get such an oddity: how can you be due to yourself? And so, you can. And in good faith to repay the debt to yourself, and even give interest.
What are the percentages? So who likes to walk in debt?
No matter how much he asked, no one said that he feels joy and happiness from what he should. Although, probably, when I should, then there is the energy to act. And so, what "I want" can not be realized, but the "must" is not going anywhere from this: debts SHOULD be repaid. So from the moment of conception, birth and until adulthood, they said that they owe dad, mom, grandfather, grandmother, educators, teachers, teachers. And that extends to friends and loved ones.
Only all this was then, but now, maybe it is worth trying to want instead of SHOULD?
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