How To Avoid Being Manipulated

Video: How To Avoid Being Manipulated

Video: How To Avoid Being Manipulated
Video: How to STOP from Being Manipulated | Emotional Manipulator Tactics | SL Coaching 2024, March
How To Avoid Being Manipulated
How To Avoid Being Manipulated
Anonim

A very popular topic today is about manipulation.

You can often hear that this is manipulation and this is manipulation …

And somehow it turns out that well, almost everything is manipulation)

And, of course, no one wants to be manipulated.

But what is manipulation?

This is, in a simple way, some kind of impact on a person in order to control him.

That is, to "force" to do what the person himself will not do voluntarily.

If we talk about manipulation at the everyday level, then this is the impact in the process of communication.

Is it possible in the process of communication to force a person to do something that he himself does not want? Theoretically, it is possible, but …

Let's try to figure it out.

How often do we ask ourselves the question "Why am I doing this?" I guess not very often)

Let's ask ourselves the question, why do we communicate at all?

After all, when we interact with other people, do we always do it for some reason? Right?

That is, we usually have a goal.

We want something from this contact.

Yes, of course, we often do not think about the goal. This is true. We just talk.

But if you think about it?

Well, for example … Maybe we want to feel that we are not alone in this world.

Maybe we want to listen to a pleasant voice and enjoy it.

Maybe we want to get an answer to the question of how to get to such and such a street.

Maybe ask them to hand over the salt at the dinner table.

That is, we want the person to do something for us that we need.

We can openly ask him about it. And this is probably the best option.

But it often happens that … we don’t know how to ask!

For different reasons.

For example, it's scary that they will refuse.

Or it’s embarrassing to admit that we may need something at all - it happens that to admit that you don’t know something or don’t know how, you need something, means to collapse in our own eyes. Ashamed.

Or it is inconvenient to load another person with your "want" - and feel guilty about it.

And it also happens that we don't really know what we need.

And then all the hope is that the other knows about us what we do not know about ourselves. And it would be nice if he (another) did it for us - himself, without any of our requests there))

That is, we want someone to take responsibility for meeting our needs.

And when we do not know how to ask, then all sorts of detour, so to speak, maneuvers are used.

For the sake of fairness, it should be noted that these "roundabout maneuvers" are not always realized by the performers.

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For example, the resentment maneuver. We are offended. And the "offended" person experiences a sense of guilt and is ready to make amends, satisfying the undisturbed desires of the "offended".

Or here is one of the most manipulative - the position of "victim". Something like: "How could you ?? After all, I'm for you …"

It is as if everyone is in debt to the "victim". And, as they can, they try to minimize this "debt". Manipulation? Sure. It even happens that it is unconscious, but manipulation.

Well, and, of course, we all meet from time to time people who try to force us to do something that is good for them, and to our detriment.

And, naturally, they don't tell us this directly, but they try to force us in various ways to do all sorts of nonsense that we do not need.

Buy something we don't need there, participate where we don't want to ourselves, and so on.

Sign an onerous contract.

There are many options.

That is, manipulation is a social impact. And, in general, any interaction in society presupposes it.

But any impact has a receiving side! Which perceives this impact or does NOT perceive!

And according to Wikipedia, "Social impact is generally considered harmless when it respects a person's right to accept or reject it and is not overly coercive."

The only question is to what extent the object of influence is aware that he has this very right "to accept or reject". And realizes what he really wants

People often tend to "forget" that they are the real masters of their decisions and behavior.

And they are "being led" to have someone decide for them what is right for them and what is wrong. What is good for them and what is bad for them. What is useful and what is harmful.

That is, they subconsciously want to be manipulated.

That is, if we call a spade a spade, then manipulation is, in fact, what allows us to avoid responsibility for our decisions and actions.

Responsibility for oneself and one's decisions - which is already there - is a heavy burden. Carrying it is difficult.

But just not to carry it is impossible! What a paradox! Because we carry it anyway!

I am reminded of an old parable about the fact that everyone carries their own cross in life.

In a simplified retelling, it sounds like this:

Exhausted by the hardships of being, a person prayed to God to make his life easier, because it was too hard.

God heeded his pleas and agreed to help the sufferer and replace his cross with an easier one.

The Creator brought the martyr to a huge room where the crosses of all living were collected, and told him: "Choose what you want."

For a long time, a man walked this storage. The crosses around were very different.

There were also quite simple and modest ones.

There were also luxurious ones, all in gold and precious stones.

Here a man walked, walked. I tried on different crosses.

Take it in hand and - … put it.

This one is in precious stones … Well, it's so beautiful, well, I like it so much … But it's not something to wear, it's just hard to lift it!

But this one is quite light. But so modest, well, so simple, well, completely ugly - I don't even want to look at this one.

The sufferer walked, walked … tried on, tried on … And finally, I chose.

Moderately heavy (and can lift, and wear too), moderately beautiful (not luxurious, but quite wow).

So the man says: "Lord, I have chosen a cross for myself. This is what I want."

To which the Creator answers him: "So this is your cross!"

In general, each of us carries the cross that he can carry. Maybe!

Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's nice.

But I will assume that both "hard" and "pleasant" - do not exist one without the other.

Another thing is that it happens that we are only aware of some facets of this cross. Others are hidden from us.

But they are still there.

And the more fully we realize these facets, the more fully we live our life. We get more satisfaction.

What conclusion can be drawn from the above?

Of course, everyone can make their own! I will not manipulate my readers)))

And for myself I draw the following conclusion:

In order not to be an object of manipulation, you must constantly be aware of your own interests. And if I am pushed to do something, then ask myself the question "Why?" "Why do I want to do this?" "Why do I need this? For what? What do I want from this for myself?"

And if a clear answer is received, then act. And if the answer does not come or it is somehow indistinct, step aside! Step aside both literally and figuratively. Because stepping aside (and getting out of contact) you can "cool down and turn on your brains") Then ask yourself the same questions again. And until the answers are received, it is better to refrain from action. And from the contact it is unambiguous - to leave!

In general, in order not to be an object of manipulation, you will have to realize your own responsibility for your own life every minute! And make your (I emphasize) decisions:)

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Good luck to all of us in this noble cause !!:)

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