2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Masha and Oleg came to the first reception together. But, waiting for the start of the consultation in the lobby, they defiantly dispersed to different corners and buried themselves in their phones.
They entered the office in the same silence, sat down in armchairs, met their eyes and frowned even more. There was a tense pause. Most often, at the first consultation, I help clients get started, but then I clearly understood: it is necessary to let the lightning discharge "mature". And after a while a storm struck.
- He drives me crazy! I can not take it anymore! - Masha almost cried out, covered her face with her hands and burst into tears, loudly, childishly. Oleg, who at first opened his mouth, fidgeted, fidgeted in his chair and helplessly threw up his hands. I handed Masha a napkin and calmly waited until the emotions subside a little.
- Masha, dear, you seem to have accumulated a huge tension. Please share what is happening to you?
Masha sighed and began to talk excitedly, clutching wet napkins in her hands and sometimes glancing at Oleg, who was sitting hunched over and looking at one point.
They got married six months ago. Before that, they did not live together. The first weeks after the wedding were wonderful: both Oleg and Masha flew home after work, made surprises for each other, gave gifts, could not get enough of the new level of relations. And then it began … Suddenly it turned out that there were many women around Oleg.
A colleague, a longtime ex, a friend of his youth, a coach from a sports club, a dentist, a friend from a bookstore … All of them periodically needed something: buy medicines, fix a broken computer, help with choosing a mixer in the kitchen, take the car to service … Oleg, a kind soul, always responded to requests - once Masha fell in love with him precisely for his responsiveness and ability to sacrifice her plans. Now it suddenly turned out that Oleg was ready to sacrifice her and their joint plans just as easily. At least two or even three evenings a week, he came late, as after work he went to help another lady. Conversations did not help: the husband was sincerely surprised by Masha's claims, did not feel guilty about himself and did not see the problem at all. Sometimes it seemed to Masha that she was to blame for everything - she quarreled with Oleg because of each saved "princess", heightened the atmosphere. And then, in the PMS, once again being alone with the prepared dinner, I felt that the bowl was overflowing. The returning husband was waiting for the Big Bang …
- I'll put this winter rubber around your neck !!! - Masha squealed and even threw a cup at the wall - the very one, apparently overflowing. The next morning, the couple signed up for a consultation with me.
- Well, I don't sleep with them, Mash. He said - you are the only one, I only love you, - Oleg finally decided to give his voice. - They just need me to help, well, I'm not sorry, huh?
“You don't seem to be greedy at all. Do you help everyone? - I decided to direct the conversation in a constructive direction, because Masha was getting ready to cry again.
- Well … yes … - Oleg looked at me. I decided to strengthen the moment.
- Tell me, when you decided to marry Masha and proposed to her, what did you feel?
Oleg relaxed, a gentle smile appeared on his face.
- Well … that now I will burst with happiness and love. And I wanted Masha to never regret choosing me. I wanted to protect her … And I want to, - he finished the sentence, looking at his wife from under his brows.
- It is very correct and great that you want. When people enter into long-term relationships and then get married, they have a lot of new things in their lives. Plans, hopes, comfort, intimacy, some kind of common space, you also want to protect it, right?
- True, - Oleg nodded without a shadow of a doubt, still looking at Masha. Her face brightened noticeably, her tears dried up. The turning point of the consultation has come.
- And when your friends ask you to help and for this you have to constantly leave Masha, what happens to your common space?
Oleg looked puzzled.
“Well… It's getting smaller,” he said finally.
- This is true. And Masha also feels abandoned and unprotected. She may even begin to think that other women are dearer to you than she is, and that you are not protecting your common space - I allowed myself to be a little tougher. Masha left the napkin alone, nodded in agreement and looked hopefully at her husband.
- Maybe yes. I didn't think about it. But if they ask me to help, then it’s not just that, then something important? - Oleg found it difficult to immediately accept the idea that the state of affairs could change.
- But somehow, after all, all these adult women lived until they met you?
- Well yes…
- And now they will live. You have other priorities. And if we are not talking about saving lives and other really serious problems, then your friends will cope on their own.
The husband and wife left together and even holding hands. Oleg looked thoughtful. He had a lot to reevaluate and rethink, but I saw that he loved Masha and was ready for this. And Masha just glowed. Probably, I thought how many beautiful things lie ahead after the spouse finally hangs up the Superman costume on a nail.
Recommended:
How To Open Up The Strength And Sources For Positive Changes In Your Life
The path to discovering the strength and sources of positive change in yourself is through suffering. As long as we run away from suffering and do not have the strength and courage to look at the root of all our problems and sufferings, until then our life will be like a struggle with windmills, which does not radically change and does not bring joy and positiveness.
Simple Ways To Make A Conversation Deep And Help A Man Open Up Emotionally
Communication is an opportunity. Communication has endless potential, but we rarely explore it and take our first steps in new territory. This article will show you how to navigate conversations along the right paths and avoid the constant routine of communication.
What Everyone Is Silent About, Or Trying To Pretend That Nothing Is Happening
Today, a group of psychotherapists discussed the topic of military operations on the territory of Ukraine. The topic is complex, sad, sad and painful. Especially for those people whose relatives live in the ATO zone. A colleague says that he calls relatives to Odessa, then wait it out, and then, like, we'll see what happens.
Still Trying To Change Your Money Mindset? Come On, It Won't Help
When another insolent person claims that you are poor because you have a poor person's mindset, do not believe him. This stream on the Internet promises you a bright and hassle-free life by magic. This is relevant, very relevant. Therefore, these trainers have many clients.
Feeling Alone Will Help Us Open Ourselves Up And Find Love
The famous Austrian psychotherapist, representative of existential analysis Alfried Langle - about how the feeling of loneliness can help us open ourselves and find love. When I see all of you, I don't feel alone. I hope you do too. Loneliness is familiar to each of us and is usually very painful.
