2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I will definitely be creative / start a private practice / write to a publisher. But not now. I don’t know much yet - I’ll go to study. Courses alone are not enough, more is needed. Now I may know enough, but I have no time. I am constantly busy with something. Do not touch me!
Learning something new is good. In a previous post, I said that it is sometimes necessary to pause to learn something. But what if the pause goes on?
In psychology, there is the concept of passive behavior (Schiffs authors). This does not mean lying on the couch, but performing actions that lead anywhere, just not to the desired success.
Types of passive behavior:
1. Nothing-doing. A person has the confidence that he does not have the strength to solve the situation. Did you drop a coin? I will stand and look at her until the situation resolves itself. Got an opportunity to publish a book? I don't have the strength to think about it and do something. Let it be decided somehow by itself.
2. Over-adaptability. I will do what others expect of me. The family will be upset if I succeed. I need to be a good person, and good people don't stick their heads out. What do you mean my family might be happy? You are confusing something, I myself know what everyone expects of me. Even if it is not asked directly. I have a lot of things to do before doing what I like. Do you think I'm good at it? I'm not sure myself.
3. Agitation (excitement). So there will be a very important person in that meeting. I need to impress him, he will notice me and then everything will be fine. Why doesn't he look in my direction? Am I laughing not loud enough? Does he not notice that I am wringing my hands in anticipation of meeting him? Why doesn't he fit? I'm already doing everything for this!
4. Helplessness or violence. If actions in agitation did not lead to the desired (and such actions never lead to the desired), then a person from excitement can fall into one of two states.
- helplessness - nobody needs me and everything that I do is pointless. The world doesn't need me, it's over. I will never go to such meetings again. And if they call me, then my temperature will definitely rise.
- violence - ha, did not notice me. He will regret it yet! How this showcase pisses me off! And here is a great stone to break it.
As you can see, none of the above will lead a person to success and does not work to solve the existing situation. The types of passive behavior are spelled out in the personal scenario of a person's life.
What to do with passive behavior?
At least start noticing and studying it. Unfortunately, this can be difficult as this behavior is common and considered normal. It is important to understand that every type of passive behavior makes sense - when you made a decision in early childhood that you need to behave that way, you did it to protect yourself. It is important for your subconscious to protect itself from success. Why? It is worth dealing with a psychologist. This does not mean that success is simply impossible otherwise. But there is a chance that you simply will not notice it, even if it falls on you.
Most importantly, believe me, this is not forever. Passive behavior is amenable to correction.
Make a plan to move towards your goal and follow it. Don't force it, give yourself more time, but don't stop. Count to 10 and breathe deeply when you feel over-excited. Study success stories in order to see different scenarios of achievement. Connect therapy.
Everything is possible.
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