2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
One of the most toxic phrases I've come across sounds very optimistic: "Everything will be fine." Even my beloved "everything flows, everything changes" and "for something all this was needed" (and after all, how many years have passed!) Do not corrode the soul metal as much as this vulgar and viscous "everything will be fine."
This phrase is like a virus that slowly and surely spreads through every cell of the body, which for some reason continues to be treated with a decoction of sea stones and tincture from the claw of Greenland porcupine, because "nature will cope with everything." Of course, drinking plenty of fluids and fresh air can play into the hands and ultimately the body will win. But maybe not.
It is like a huge lush juicy pink bow made of organza, tulle and cheap satin, dotted with bugles, sequins and, for faithfulness, strapped with sequins, ineptly sewn to an elegant black silk floor-length dress with a beautiful cutout on the back. Everyone (or still not?..) understands that there is no place for such a bow on such a dress, but as if by inertia he sculpts it and already with a clear conscience steps aside for his portion of detachment.
"Everything will be fine" - it can taste as delicious and desirable as a juicy hamburger after a long carbohydrate-free diet. It can revitalize and energize you. Or it can literally stop the work of the stomach in the absence of the necessary enzymes.
It is like telling someone dying of the last stage of cancer that everything will be fine and hearing in a weak voice "necessarily)". You both know that there is no more truth in this phrase than there is vitamin C in Olivier salad, but you agree to create the illusion of calmness. It might work. But not always.
Believing that everything will be fine while driving a car that rushes with faulty brakes straight into a concrete wall is a choice of a defensive reaction. To convince the person behind this wheel of this is madness.
You don't know if everything will be okay. Not unless, of course, you are a dentist who puts a standard filling without anesthesia, then the chances of the replica being true are huge. But if you say this to a friend at the funeral of a loved one, the guy standing at the head of the bed of his dying father? And even if we say that sugary "everything is fine", helping to collect things for a friend after she discovered her husband's second betrayal. As an attempt to support this strategy is questionable. In the end, of course, everything can be fine and she will find herself another partner who can appreciate and care for her. But with the same probability, this "good" may well not come. And she will never meet her man. Not because she is not clever and beautiful, and even more so not because she tried badly for this (this is a reason for a separate emotional text). She may well be lonely just because.
Facing a loss is scary. And it hurts, just like loneliness or uncertainty. And everyone ultimately copes with stress and loss the way they can. Someone jokes efficiently and skillfully, because it is easier to hide behind a mask of laughter. Someone prepares the ground very in advance, making sure that all life is not a game, but perishable decay and it cannot be good by default, we will all die and there is no meaning in life. When you initially believe that good things won't happen, bad things don't hurt so much.
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