2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What if you are not endowed with the magical ability to feel joy and anticipation at the words - New Year !, March 8! and stuff and stuff ??? But there are not so few such people, just more often than not they prefer to pretend that they feel the same as the surrounding "wizards".
They either habitually buy gifts, put up a Christmas tree, give women flowers (if their holiday), socks (if they are not women), smile strained in response to the toasts "Happy birthday! Health and love!" or they honestly "slap" on all this, they do not prepare for the calendar holidays, they do not invite anyone for their birthday, or they call people with a similar attitude. Moreover, among those and others there will be those who are very ashamed of their inconsistency with the general emotional background.
I often noticed that for me the most fun and memorable (with rare exceptions) turned out to be absolutely non-calendar holidays. For which they prepare for a long time and in advance, carefully selecting gifts, thinking about where, with whom, what to celebrate. They take into account thousands of little things, anticipate the slightest inconsistencies and nuances. It seems to me that in all this, apart from joy and the desire to have a good holiday, there is a lot of anxiety, anxiety, sometimes turning into panic - as if we were not going to celebrate, but we were going to pass the exam. What if it goes wrong ??? Well this is how you will meet a year! so you will! This approach always put me on my guard, there was some kind of non-festivity in all this. This does not mean that if there is a mood to prepare, it is always anxiety. Not at all, it may well be your real need to celebrate this or that holiday with those attributes that make you happy.
What is a holiday for me is when I meet people dear to me, even if it is one person and together we do something that we all like. At the same time, you can eat, drink, sing, dance, or you can not. And you can do it anytime! not in a hurry to exactly please in "that very day". Although this of course may coincide.
I often think that there are many people who are alone on a holiday. Friends are busy with their families, there are no relatives nearby, there may be disagreements in the family or there is none at all. On such lonely evenings, people can feel emptiness, total loneliness, misunderstanding, alienation. They may ask themselves questions - what's wrong with me? After all, yesterday was the same evening, but these painful feelings were not?
This is a reason to think about what exactly causes such strong feelings? what is my need not satisfied? How do I relate to myself, am I important to myself as - myself - or in order to feel that I exist, I need constant confirmation from the outside? Is there a business, an occupation that brings me joy. How do I feel about the people around me? Why does it bother me that others are ashamed of my lack of enthusiasm? True, these questions may not be timed to the holiday, you can ask yourself any day, the main thing is to start. "The path of a thousand steps begins with the first step" (c). In order to deeply and impartially consider these and other issues, you can also contact a psychologist.
The main news is that you are not guilty of anything if your mood did not coincide with the holiday!
I wish you that in spite of and in spite of all the requirements of society, you retain the right to celebrate whatever you want and whenever you want !!!
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