2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
And it exists for a person when he "receives" identity from others. And the danger lies in the fact that he will be manipulated, precisely based on the identity that was taken over by him from the external environment. An identity received from the outside is a "false" identity. Our personality splits when we merge with the imposed self-image. And then there is a loss of the integral energy of a person. And hence - neuroses, illnesses, depression …
Let's look at ourselves, at our symptoms, reactions, our dreams … What are we identified with … What projections of others are directed at us? It must be remembered that other people's projections that we integrate into ourselves become an obstacle to our individuation.
Of course, we are all carriers of certain complexes (from a psychological point of view). It is in our psyche. Knowing which complexes are active in us becomes a necessity in interpersonal relationships. And, first of all, in order not to be an unconscious bearer of alien projections and to avoid identification with the "alien". We know about the existence of projections. We also know that we also have hooks on which these projections can be strung.
Many are familiar with phrases such as "What is in you that you cause such reactions?" And here is a very fine line, sometimes barely perceptible. These "opinions and judgments" of the other person about you are not your identity. And, God forbid, you believe in these views and other people's impressions of you. Learn to be mindful of relationships. If you have a "hook", then it is just a fragment of you, and in no way is your identity. Only by realizing our "hooks" will we be able not to catch them on the "traps" of someone else's psyche.
Some recommendations:
1. When you are labeled, be mindful of what is happening to you. What thoughts, feelings, reactions do you have? What do you want to do in such moments: leave, argue, be offended, remain silent, or be above it.
If there is an echo in your psyche to words directed towards you, then you probably have a "hook". And if, nevertheless, it exists, then it is asymptomatic not to slip by. Of course, it is not easy to admit for yourself that you are mutually attracted to each other and such meetings are necessary in your destiny. But this confession will be a step towards your liberation. Seeing your hook, you will not be unconsciously suspended in the "trap" of someone else's psyche, and you will not spend an enormous amount of your energy on the struggle. Then yours will remain with you, and the alien will be separated.
2. Remember that the "projections" of another person directed at you can harm you if you identify with them, ie. take them on faith (consciously or unconsciously), without rethinking. Ask yourself the following questions: Who is this person to me? Who does he remind me of? Who does he see in me? What is in me that attracts his attention? Is there something in me that he wants to have too?
I would like to draw your attention to the fact that the last question is the least likely to come to mind, because it differs from the question: "What is so bad in me that causes such a negative reaction?"
Here, not everything is so simple. You may be criticized and negatively judged for having qualities that are attractive to your opponent. And if he cannot find the desired quality in himself, then you can become an object from which he wants to "take it away."
If you identify with a value judgment, the chances are high that you will lose touch with your "gold" pieces. The opportunity to study the current situation from all sides will help you meet with something important in yourself and very valuable. It is not for nothing that it is so attractive to the outside circle of people. And believe me, in your relationship "life" will put everything in its place over time.
3. Be sure to discuss your situation with someone you trust and who knows you from different angles. It is good if there is an opportunity to address this question to a specialist so as not to become a hostage of "false" identification.
Learn to understand and protect your inner world. And then yours will stay with you, and someone else's can be easily, without regret, left to their carriers. Reveal Your Identity! It will pay off for you!
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