Suicidality. How To Understand And Recognize. Appropriate And Inappropriate Help

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Stress, depression, life upheavals sometimes become unbearable, break us down. When the suffering lasts a long time and there is no way to somehow alleviate the situation. Powerlessness, lack of control, aggravate suffering.

Now this can become not just a bad mood, but a serious disorder that can take root, return and intensify, if psychological and, sometimes, psychiatric help is not provided in time. And more importantly, suffering sometimes leads to suicidal thoughts and actions, sometimes even those who do not have psychological disorders and depression and suicidality have not been manifested before.

The intolerance of experiences, the powerlessness to change anything, seasoned causes the strongest tension and an unconscious desire to quickly get free. Conscience and social fears rarely allow you to fully realize this. We are angry at ourselves and at the situation, at fate, at God, driven by a secret desire to find the culprit, to punish and leave everything behind.

The same applies to suicidality - you want to end the cycle of unbearable suffering and / or sacrifice yourself out of loyalty to a loved one.

During the experience of suffering, archaic feelings and thoughts filled with drama come to life in us. Experiences are so intense that we often follow emotional impulses that are subject to distorted logic. We are not governed by common sense, but by the plots of the heroes of myths and dramas.

Common sense gives up under the onslaught of fear of uncertainty, irreversibility, and inability to control.

Barrier. Sometimes the sufferer does not want to leave the realm of feelings into the realm of the rational mind; this may seem like a betrayal of himself or the memory of a loved one. Anger, as a reaction to helplessness and the need for relaxation, can turn against the interlocutor.

Many strong emotions bring to life previous experiences when the same experiences have been experienced in other situations. Our memory is arranged in such a way that one of the mechanisms for classifying memories is associations, unions based on the principle of similarity. Therefore, strong feelings in connection with today's event can "bring to the surface" similar feelings related to the past. Then the emotional pain intensifies and even seems inadequately strong - after all, only part of it refers to real events, and part of it refers to events stored in the memory, sometimes quite old.

Our psyche works in such a way that we strive to draw conclusions about ourselves and the world in which we live, we strive to streamline our experience. Therefore, in the course of life, we constantly make verdicts about all significant experiences that have happened to us - positive or negative. Strong emotions can distort the mind of the bereaved. Then a person makes generalizations that do not correspond to reality, but are dictated by feelings.

And against the background of unbearable suffering, there is a strong desire to end everything in one fell swoop.

Logic gives way to emotion. Sometimes suffering is accompanied by feelings of guilt and the desire for relief is complemented by a desire for punishment, a hidden need for redemption.

And you hear: “I don’t want to live like this anymore”, “It’s unbearable”, “I want to end it.”

Such thoughts cannot be ignored, let on their own - in the future, when something similar happens, the brain will use the previously made conclusions, which, perhaps, helped to survive in the past drama, with a past loss (maybe, but not a fact - because “help” and the usefulness of such thoughts are assessed subjectively and often unconsciously by the grieving person himself), but which are illogical, irrational.

The most destructive of these ideas are thoughts of yourself. And most of these thoughts will contain the wrong generalization or should. "Now I will always be …" (or "I will never be"), "I absolutely must …", etc. For example, "I will never be happily married again after this divorce", or "I owe everything to devote time to loved ones in order to prevent anyone's illness ", or" after I was forced to have sex, I will never be able to enjoy it again - I'm dirty. " If there are such thoughts, it is important to analyze them and determine what is logical, useful and can help in life, and what was caused by fear, pain, guilt, etc.

Often, the suffering person, following his experiences, closes in on himself. Behind the unwillingness to talk is a state of shock and unwillingness to fall into helplessness. But during a conversation, we begin to release suppressed feelings, help to rethink, sort out feelings, thoughts, reactions and plans on the shelves. Helping in conversation to move from talking about his suffering to the experiences of the grieving person. it is important not to let it close, while not depriving the possibility of privacy.

You can recall the ancient wisdom: "The shared sorrow becomes half as much, and the joy - twice as much."

It makes sense to unobtrusively call the client's experiences: “I don’t know how I would cope in your place, these feelings may seem unbearable, it seems that life has changed forever …”. As you pause, watch the other person's reactions, allow him to get in touch with the feelings and start talking about them.

It is very difficult for a layperson to explore the topic of suicidal thoughts. It's not easy to talk about, and it usually seems like one can provoke the idea of suicide. Usually, discussing these topics is not provocative, but rather calming. My clients are beginning to distinguish between thoughts and actions. “It is normal that in such an unbearable situation, different ideas come as a hope for relief, sometimes even thoughts become calmer. Action is another matter, one way or another you understand that the feelings will pass, and one fine day, when you heal again to the fullest, you will remember this with compassion and a smile. After all, you had situations that seemed unbearable, and then it was all over."

The experience, which is often part of the reaction to any dramatic events, is powerlessness, the feeling of being unable to change anything (“I can’t do anything about it, I’m helpless”, “the earth is leaving from under my feet”, “trouble fell on me, I am broken, crushed”, etc.). In situations of loss, it is normal to feel powerless, the very essence of events often suggests that a person, against their will, became their figurant, especially when it comes to the death of a loved one, physical injury, etc. In fact, grieving is exactly what a person can do, what is under his control. In the case when external circumstances are really impossible to change, turn back, a person has his own psyche at his disposal, with its ability to survive grief, mourn loss, rethink values and make the event a part of his experience (and, therefore, his spiritual wealth).

If a person has experienced shocks many times during his life and regularly experienced helplessness, then this can become part of his usual reaction. In this case, he does not even try to do anything in order to alleviate his condition, because he is sure that nothing will work out anyway, it will not get better. This habitual response to stress in the early twentieth century was called learned helplessness. Animals also have this reaction, and in humans it can become part of complex behavior and greatly complicate the experience of loss. If the repeated repetition of losses has led to the formation of passive-humble behavior, then psychological work is definitely a good decision and makes sense.

It is good to discuss situations from the past that the client considered unbearable, ask him how he coped with them, how he returned to a full life, how they made him stronger in the end, shaking the foundation of hopelessness.

The question "How do you cope with this?" Is quite pertinent. An open and unobtrusive question suggests a detailed story.

When scanning the indicated topic, ask what the interlocutor thinks about his future plans, how to worry, how to cope with life.

If you hear: “I don’t want to live like this anymore”, “It’s unbearable”, “I want to end it.” - do not panic, but also do not ignore, ask what this means for the interlocutor, normalize his feelings and ask what he thinks to do about this.

If the suicidal person talks about suicidal ideas and plans, especially with details: “Sometimes I think it’s better for me to hang myself in the kitchen”, you should not shout: “You won’t do this ?!”. Better to ask something like, "Are you sure you will do this, or are your emotions so strong that you can't say for sure?"

Be sure to arrange for him to call you or the hotline (be sure to get a number) if these thoughts begin to prevail. Psychotherapists in such a situation often require the signing of an agreement, these are the conditions for the provision of therapy. If the client refuses, the psychotherapist says that he is obliged to take the necessary measures, sometimes call a psychiatric ambulance. After that, the client usually agrees to the contract.

It makes sense to attract friends and family, overcoming irrational worries and doubts, this is important. Help negotiate how to provide an opportunity to speak out, create an opportunity for relaxation, relieve the sufferer by sharing household and other responsibilities.

For quality treatment of symptoms and disorders, working through destructive experiences and habits, contact: Viber: 380 96 881 9694.

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