2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Relationships … perhaps one of the most questioning topics in human life. How to build them? What to rely on? What is the norm / not the norm? And there are many other questions. In an upcoming series of articles, I will try to answer some of them.
"What are we talking about today?" or PLAN ARTICLES:
- The importance of relationships in general
- The main "rule" of pair relations
THE IMPORTANCE OF RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL
Before proceeding thoroughly with the "analysis" of relationships, I would like to devote time to the importance of relationships in general for the life of each person, as, according to my observations, not so many of us give an account of this issue, unfortunately. And often relationships are perceived as something that cannot be influenced, like fate (fate), but this is not so.
There is 4 existential given - what everyone deals with and which we all cannot avoid: death, freedom, loneliness, meaninglessness.
And perhaps I would venture to add to this "magnificent four" "Fifth element": relationships
How much we are all doomed to them (!): whether it be with relatives, friends, colleagues, society as a whole, and, first of all, with yourself. Even people who chose to isolate themselves were once in a relationship. Otherwise, they would not have grown up as full-fledged people: when separated from their mother at an early age, children grow up underdeveloped in cognitive functions such as speech and even walking on their feet; more on that at the end of this article.
And yet the speech will go about the relationship in a couple. Much begins and much ends with them. I see the pair as some kind of starting point. Our children remain under the influence of these relationships: they perceive themselves through the prism of parental relationships between themselves and towards them, build their lives and their relationships on the basis of the "information" received, and then their children, and so on …
"When mistreated, children do not decide that the parents are bad, they decide that they are bad." - author unknown.
Of course, we will not change the parental pair. Also, we are unlikely to change pairs of adult children. But what we can definitely do is pay attention to ourselves and our relationships. And I believe in this case in the butterfly effect: my elaboration and personal growth cannot but affect my immediate environment, and it can affect its environment and so on.
Like the effect of a stone thrown into water: the circle will expand.
And here are a couple more arguments to be extremely serious about your relationship as a couple. When you have a strong relationship, your chances of having a good fulfilled life increase dramatically. Conversely, in a bad relationship, life is burdened with a lot of suffering. Children of emotionally healthy families are more likely to grow up to be mature and happier people. Children of destructive families more often face difficulties in building their own prosperous life. And even if they manage to achieve heights in society, they often have a hard time paired with their soul mate …
I hope I have convincingly emphasized the importance of the couple relationship issue. And I think it will not be so difficult to transfer the general principles of pair relationships to others: with parents, children, friends, colleagues, and so on.
THE MAIN RULE OF PAIRING RELATIONS
The first and main "rule" of relations in a pair (relations of people equal to each other!) Is the same as in perversions (perversions):
"Perversion is not what works for both partners."
The biggest problem with this rule in the awareness of choice. With a lack of awareness, we can choose a relationship full of suffering, believing that there is no alternative. Your (not) awareness of the choice can be assessed by the following criteria:
1. Hayterie (hatred) of their choice/ life / partner / destiny with unenviable frequency.
2. Frequent feeling like a victim (also: rock / fate / partner, etc.).
In the presence of these criteria (especially the second!), We can talk about the unconsciousness of your choice.
In the next article, I'll explore the key difference between good and destructive relationships and describe what I think successful relationships look like.
If you have any feedback on this article, I'll be happy to read it. If you have personal questions that you want to discuss, my psychotherapeutic doors are open!)
Recommended:
Master Of Communication. It's Enough To Understand A Simple Rule
Dialogue is when I throw the ball to you, and you throw it back to me. That being said, we both know that this is a ball, not a jar of jam or a rotten tomato. We know, we voice it: why we throw it and why exactly to each other and what kind of answer we expect.
Why Trouble Doesn't Come Alone Or The Rule Of Four "O"
Popular wisdom has long noticed that troubles usually do not overtake us alone. If something should happen, then everything will inevitably happen at once. Sound familiar? The phone broke down, the laptop decided to update all the programs at once, the coffee boiled out, the bus was late, the boss was dissatisfied, and then they had a fight with their relatives.
Draft Rule Of Life - Rule # 8 Of 64. Distribute
Continuing the project “Rules of Life”, I suggest you consider rule 8 out of 64, which reads as follows: “Distribute”. I want to remind you that if you follow these rules in your life, then within two years, you can improve your life in half.
❤ THE POWER OF LOVE ❤ Find Out All The Goals Of Your Love From A Family Psychologist
Power of love. The fact that love is one of the most powerful feelings does not need to be said specifically. But let's answer a completely logical question: "Why is she given such an irresistible force, the victim of which sooner or later becomes each of us?
Relations With Parents In Childhood And Interpersonal Relations Of Students
Many works of domestic and foreign researchers are devoted to the study of relations with parents of children under 18 years of age. In Russian psychology, research in this area was carried out by the scientists L.S. Vygotsky, O.A. Karabanova, V.
