Difficult Situations: Scenarios That Repeat From Time To Time, Which Do Not Suit You, Why And What To Do?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Very often in our life there are scenarios that repeat from time to time. And we sincerely do not understand why this is happening. For example, we try to connect our destiny with one or another partner, but the problems in the relationship begin identical, and everything eventually ends. What is this again for the same rake encountered on our life path, because we, it seems, took into account the previous mistakes? A certain consistency, consistency in actions is present. But we know for sure that this does not suit us, it brings discomfort to the soul, confusion in plans, and sometimes it makes us really suffer.

This anxiety state, which often borders on stress in its strength, has a powerful destructive effect on us from the inside. We get angry and irritated (even at close people), give up, “plunge” into depression, take offense at fate, lose our life guidelines, stop understanding the meaning of our existence: “Why continue to live, to do something, to strive for something, if all the same everything will be like this again! Situations that we are accustomed to refer to as complex, controversial, hopeless, result in several subsequent behavioral scenarios:

Resignation to the status quo. Basically, this is done by people with low self-esteem, who do not have the strength and resources to fix something. Therefore, they have no choice but to adapt to the events that are taking place that life puts them. Moreover, this category of subjects may want something else or want nothing at all.

Hiking paraspecialists. Some begin to look for some mystical roots in everything that happens to them and go to psychics and sorcerers to help diagnose and remove damage, evil eye, family curse, etc. By such actions, people show that they are fully confident in the existence of higher powers and that nothing depends on them, “mere mortals” in this life.

Fighting and confronting the situation. There are those who try to "flounder" on their own to the last in the "swamp" of a situation, a system that sucks them in deeper and deeper. In the end, they actually have no energy left, they have to give up and resign themselves (see item 1). Here we can talk about people with high self-esteem - they cannot adequately assess their capabilities and resources, it seems to them that they have superpowers and superpowers.

All the described variants of the development of events, in fact, represent a "duel" of a haphazard approach ("who goes to the forest, who gets firewood") with the system (it is based on an already established scenario). Without further ado, one can understand that this takes a person further and further from the solution of the problem and reality. And here fertile ground appears for the aggravation of an already disturbed psychological and emotional state of a person.

Conflicts begin with loved ones, quarrels, endless showdowns and subsequent disappointment, loss of trust, isolation from the outside world. After all, people live in fear (real, but often deep in the unconscious), fearing a repetition of the situation, which will bring the same negative emotions and painful feelings. And this fear gradually develops into their permanent state, replacing them with a feeling of comfort.

How to effectively deal with difficult situations?

I always try to convince my clients that it is wrong to run away from a situation, from a problem, from a person. It is necessary to change the hackneyed destructive scenario - this is the only way to avoid the "rake". And then another, favorable scenario will perfectly fit on the created new constructive program. Only by changing ourselves, within ourselves, we get a real opportunity to change the outside world, painting it with other colors.

Identifying the roots of the situation is also very important. And it often turns out that they are drawn from childhood. You can hardly imagine how powerful events from such a distant place can have on our adult life. The longer I work with people and their problems, the more proof I have of this. And here the main thing is to see these connections, which, without the help of a specialist and certain therapeutic techniques used by him, a person rarely succeeds.

Childhood traumas could be so severe that even then such protective mechanisms as repression and denial were turned on. And as the personality develops and matures, these blocks from the unconscious do not disappear anywhere, but begin to flicker left and right, retraumatization occurs. This leads to the creation of negative scenarios in our life, which we do not want to see, but from which there is no escape. Or we actively strive to achieve certain goals, but this does not bring results.

This is where a discordant effect arises: we put some scenarios in our consciousness, and completely different ones operate in parallel in the unconscious. As a result, an internal conflict arises, which certainly finds a way out, reflecting on our life and the people present in it. Therefore, the priority area of my consultations, I highlight the work with the unconscious, which hides much more than you can imagine. And when this deep channel is "cleared", then it enters the same "runway" with consciousness. This is the right starting point for achieving what you want. When it is possible to achieve "friendship" between consciousness and the unconscious:

1. Life scenarios that you do not want to see disappear.
2. A sense of inner and outer harmony is achieved.
3. Calmness is felt.
4. Broken relationships with people around you are forging.

Priority action programs

The first and, perhaps, the most important thing that is required of you is to admit that what is happening to you is not the norm. After that, you should want to change and decide on them. It sounds simple in words, but believe me, this is the most difficult step. Especially when it comes to a person who cannot adequately assess himself. And here the following pitfalls are possible:

Low self-esteem. Such people generally have little faith in anything, they are pessimistic about our work. It seems to them that it is unrealistic to change something for the better. Therefore, they do not see much sense in trying, making efforts, going to the end. It's easier for them to keep going with the flow and not even think about whether they like it or not

Heightened self-esteem. It can also be difficult to break out of such a "trap". It is very difficult for such people to admit, not only to others, but also to themselves, that not everything is in order with them. And since the problem allegedly does not exist, then what can you talk about with a specialist at all? Even in a specially "chewed" form for them, they do not want to see anything. And this is a kind of block, the so-called excellent student syndrome, who wants to preserve the illusion of his "ideality" at all costs

Frankly, I cannot imagine how a person can work with the unconscious on his own. It can be some kind of meditation and other spiritual and psycho-emotional auto-practices. But there is no guarantee that this will not take away from you years, so valuable and important. Therefore, I will not end my next article with the traditional section of techniques and techniques for independent work. I'd better recommend that you start to adequately assess yourself and the surrounding reality.

Without blaming yourself, or the past, or the present, find a good specialist who will definitely help you. There are those who, like me, are engaged in short-term therapy. There are those who choose long-term mechanisms of work. In any case, it's up to you. But take my word for it, any scenario that does not suit you can be removed from the first meeting, or at least weaken its impact on you. Remember that your life is in your hands, and you have the right to change everything in it that does not suit you. Go for it, and everything will work out. The main thing is desire, and opportunities will appear!