Letters To Mom

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Do you get letters written on paper? It seems to me that in our age of digital technologies, they are slowly turning into an anachronism. How often do you receive letters from your family? Irina. Middle-aged woman. This is not my first time. She came a couple of years ago when she was worried about the impending divorce from her husband. She was worried about alimony, the maintenance of her son (the boy was then 12 years old), the changes that would entail the disintegration of the family. The reason for the divorce was utterly banal: someone else was constantly present on the side of her husband. The women changed, but the triangle remained. Once Irina discovered frank SMS correspondence on her husband's phone and his e-mail. He, not at all embarrassed, announced that he was not going to give up anything and was ready to offer her a divorce. The woman decided to take no action at all for a while. But her husband still insisted on a divorce. Irina was trapped - either to live with her husband on his terms, or to decide on a frighteningly independent life. Irina came back for a consultation two years later. They live apart. The husband left the apartment for her and his son, he rents a house himself. So he spends time with women who come and go. Moreover, the divorce was never formalized. It seems that now the husband wants to return. But now she doesn't want it! Having survived the crisis, Irina got a job and took up the arrangement of her personal life. I started accounts in various social networks. By the time she came to see me, Irina was aiming at Italy. An Italian professor appeared in her friends, who regularly sent her gentle messages. Irina managed to register on various dating sites, and the issue with boyfriends was also resolved for her. She blossomed, looked great. Irina belonged to women who were beautiful with that refined, nervous beauty that is always in demand by intellectual men. - Irina, have you come so that I can help you choose which of the fans suits you best? - I would very much like to. But, in fact, I came with another … For some time now, my son began to write letters to me. He is fourteen. He is an ordinary, domestic boy, he does not have many friends, he likes to shirk from school, but there are no twos. He sits on the Vkontakte page all day. I'm not putting pressure on him. Rather, the husband, who visits us on weekends, crushes. To get my attention back, he demonstratively brings up Alyosha. And the son shrinks all over, does not know how to react to him. She is very nervous and even more withdrawn into herself. For some time now my son and I hardly sleep at night. I am on Facebook until two or three o'clock in the morning. I wake up with a heavy head … And on the bedside table is a letter from my son … Irina hands me a stack of letters. In them, the boy talks about the unbearable state in which he is now: “I feel very bad”, “Can't you really notice how much it hurts?”, “I don't know how to live on. Mom, finally answer me! " Almost all letters are the same. - Did you and your son talk about these letters? Have you discussed them? - You see, the impression is that both of us are embarrassed. When we meet, we just look away. And we rarely meet. I get up later than Alyosha. He is going to school himself, eating breakfast, which I have been preparing for him in the evening. And in the evening I come home from work and have dinner alone. Together with his son - rarely. He usually carries food on a tray to his room. And each of us is buried in his tablet or laptop. That's how we live. I have a job, Facebook with hundreds of friends, lovers, a dream about Italy. He has a school, "Vkontakte" and such a longing. I don't know what to do … - Have you tried answering his letters? - How? I don't even know how to write letters … - But you write letters to the Italian professor? - I download from the Internet a typical "lacy dregs" for dating sites. And Irina and I began to compose letters to her son. Here are some excerpts from them. From the first letter:

“Hello, son! I am very glad to receive your letter. I didn’t answer for a long time because I don’t know how to do it. Thank you for reminding me that very delicate things can be trusted on paper. Now I know that you feel how difficult it is for you. I am your mother. And believe me, I see everything and now I think how to help you."

At the next consultation, Irina was already more cheerful. She said that her son had given her the next letter personally: "Suggest your plan."

From the second letter: “I was already waiting for the letter, and a plan is ripening in my head. You and I need to learn to talk to each other again. And for this we need a ritual. Let's meet in the kitchen. Let us have a dinner ritual. " We discussed with Irina that the boy really needs his father's support. And for this she needs to have a serious talk with her husband. Explain to him that she appreciates much more not his deliberate "upbringing" of Alyosha, but the opportunity for her son to spend time with his father. And it is advisable to talk to Alyosha not only about lessons or cleaning in his room. Irina offered dad a plan for the weekend: one day they go somewhere together, go for a walk, go to the cinema, etc. And the second day Alyosha spends in his father's apartment: there they can "play at the computer", talk - whatever … Irina and Alyosha's life began to slowly improve. Irina noticed that her son began to negotiate something with his father, he called him himself. Mother and son started dating in the kitchen at dinner. But all the same they were delicate. Frankness broke through only in the heartbreaking letters of Alyosha: “Can't you see how bad I am, how I suffer? ".

From another letter: “Sonny, yes, we are getting a divorce. This is true. It hurts, but not scary. Both me and dad love you. And we will do our best not to harm our only child. " After a couple of weeks, Irina and Alyosha began to talk in the kitchen. Irina attended the parents' meeting at the school, where the teacher very delicately told her that she had a good boy, just a little lost in herself and it is important not to miss him. Then she decided to talk to her son, looking into his eyes: - Alyosha, I certainly feel guilty. The divorce story drags on and on, and it's time for my dad and me to finally decide everything. But these questions do not concern you so closely. Please take responsibility for your part of life: school, grades, making new friends. Try to communicate with me more easily, more freely, without pressure … The letters turned into notes on the refrigerator door. Irina noticed that in the evenings she now devotes much more time to her son than to Facebook. However, business with the Italian professor was not going well anyway … In one of his notes, Alyosha asked her a direct question: “Mom, do you love me? ". Irina devoted her next consultation to this question, honestly admitting that she did not know how to answer him. That evening, looking the boy in the eyes, she said: - Son, you are the most important part of my life. You will always be my son, I am forever your mother. Your letters made me understand that, in addition to taking care of you, buying you gifts and watching over your school, I should also think about the joy that should be between us. About ease, about freedom, about confidence. And you and I will create it. I promise you that I will try very hard. And you promise me to tell the truth. And please don't forget to write me letters sometimes. I am a happy mother because I have a unique son who devotes so much time to me. Thank you for the letters! Yes, about the professor! Irina wrote him a letter. And she received a very frank answer, where the Italian wrote that he had been married for a long time, was not going to get divorced and that he liked to receive such gentle, romantic letters from Russian women. And that he, as a sociologist, is surprised how these women think the same way..