The Fear That Paralyzes

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How often are there situations in your life when fear paralyzes your actions?

Is fear a whip to help you move towards your goal, or is it an obstacle to your movement towards your goal?

Consider 3 common situations.

Fear in severe stressful situations when life is threatened

This is the most well-founded fear. Examples: you are flying in an airplane in bad weather conditions and the ship's captain makes a difficult landing. Or you find yourself in a situation where there is a fire in the building. In this situation, fear is the correct reaction of the body. It is important how your body processes this intense stress. In an amicable way, you need to say to yourself: "Dear (s), you are afraid and this is normal, be patient a little, we will get out of here now and then we will be afraid together." In difficult situations, it is important to share with your fear, ask him to wait, get out of the situation, and then be sure to give place to feelings: just share with someone what you have experienced, just give yourself the opportunity to cry, just buy a delicious cake and eat it … but fear must be lived so that it does not become a backpack with stones behind your back further.

Fear in a situation that strongly resembles a stressful situation in the past

Our body strives to conserve energy: physical and emotional. Often he can react to the present situation with his “past” reactions. Example: you are sitting at work and in the middle of the day the thought comes to you: it seems I did not turn off the iron … and from this thought fear seizes you. And if you further explore this bundle, then you will find a story from childhood, when one day you did not turn off the iron and your mother screamed at you so that then your whole body was permeated with her cry … she might not have done this on purpose, she might not understand, that the power of her emotions is off scale, she just wanted to convey to you that you need to carefully handle electrical appliances, but her form of learning left a strong mark on your body and creation. And now, at any thought of an unplugged iron, you find yourself in your past state.

What can be done? To share with past reactions, learn to see the difference between the present and the past, learn to evaluate situations of the present and react to them with a level of fear adequate to the situation.

Fear of Big Goals

The modern pace in a big city dictates: set ambitious goals! Some! In different areas of life! This pace supports the general information flow: if you want to be successful - take the course, if you want to achieve goals faster - find a coach, mentor, etc. Most often, after a week of “big” goals, you just start to do nothing, even from one glance at them … and why should you start if you still need to tear yourself apart and die several times in order for everything to be? Does the story sound familiar?

What can be done in a situation?

The first is to define 1-2 priority goals

The second is to cut the elephant into pieces and set an intermediate goal for each of the goals.

Third, write the goals in the Min-Max format (for example, your goal is to regularly exercise 3 times a week for 1 hour in a fitness club, let the goal be at least 3 times a week for 30 min sessions anywhere, and the goal is a maximum 3 times a week for 1 hour and it is in fitness. Having a "corridor" of the goal, you will be able to flexibly choose the appropriate option for your condition every week and will not "break" at the moment when resources this week are not enough and … you will start to skip classes … and then drop them altogether)

Fourth - praise yourself for every small step towards your goal. Even if it's just a letter, even if it's just a call.

And the last - the task for the "advanced": explore your relationship with fear.

Draw a 4-column chart in which you will write down situations that were somehow associated with different levels of fear.

Column 1 - a brief description of the situation itself

Column 2 - assessment of the level of fear on a 10-point scale

Column 3 - your thoughts at the moment of the situation

Column 4 - your actions after.

After 1-3 weeks of journaling, answer yourself the following questions:

• How many situations were there when it was really scary and the fear paralyzed?
• What level of fear is acceptable for you?
• Have you ever successfully overcome fear? What helped you cope with it?
• Were there any situations that surprised you? For example, was it scary and reckless at the same time? What level of fear on a 10-point scale was motivating for you?
• What thoughts from this study will help you move towards your goals this year?

Remember that our development occurs through fear or stress, so it is important to be able to manage a high level of feelings, but also to arrange small difficulties for ourselves in order to look ahead and live interestingly.