Why You Need To Go To A Psychological Consultation

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The reasons why people turn to a psychologist are very diverse. Sometimes this is a situation of a severe crisis: the loss of a loved one, experienced severe stress, the consequences of which cannot be coped with, depression, prolonged dysphoria (low emotional background), insomnia, etc.

Often there are no pronounced symptoms - the same depression or feelings of anxiety, from which it is impossible to get rid of. Often this is just a general experience of dissatisfaction with your life. “I'm already 30 and still not married. Everyone says it's time, but I don't understand if I need it? And there is no suitable candidate. And, in general, relationships with men somehow do not add up. Or everything seems to be fine - there is a family, a job, but I want to change something, it is often not even clear what exactly.

Sometimes this feeling is superimposed on the so-called age crises. Usually, there are three main crises of 20, 30 years and a mid-life crisis.

At the age of 20, a person is trying to either separate from his parents, or, if the separation is more or less successful, to understand how he will live this life. So he finally grew up - before him is an adult life, about 60-70 years of life ahead. How to live this life correctly, not in vain, fulfillingly? What to choose the main occupation in your life? How to build adult relationships with the opposite sex and, in general, with other adults?

At the age of 30 (approximately, it may be a year or two earlier or later), a person usually mastered some profession, works in some kind of job, possibly got married or got married. And at this age the question comes - is this how I live? Is this what I wanted? Did I make the right choices? I really want to figure it out, but usually these questions, asking oneself, are too disturbing - what if it is wrong? After all, then you will have to somehow change your life. Friends and girlfriends, of course, suggest something, advise, but usually it doesn't really help. Or this question is driven somewhere far away (into the depths of the unconscious), but it returns again in a somewhat different form later, during a midlife crisis.

At about 45 years old (again, give or take a couple of years), most people are covered by a mid-life crisis. A person suddenly realizes that half of his life has already been lived, about the same or even less remains. Is this how he lives his life, does he want to live the second half of his life the same way? Is he doing that business?

Unfortunately, against the background of this crisis, divorces are frequent. A man, suddenly realizing that his active years are leaving, begins to look for relationships on the side (which is interpreted by popular wisdom as "gray hair in a beard - a devil in a rib") and often finds them, usually with a woman much younger than himself and his wife (demographic the situation in our country is not in favor of women). Of course, this leads to strong emotional stress in the family, scandals or even divorce.

Or a person decides to radically change the sphere of his activity, quits his job, again, as in 20 years, “looking for himself”, looking for a new content of his life. It happens that during this period one of the parents dies, which in itself is a very difficult experience and, at the same time, the person realizes that "he is next." Or someone of the same age (for example, a classmate or classmate) dies of a stroke, heart attack, and you understand that the same thing can happen to you.

Of course, during these periods of life, a person needs support. If psychological problems, emotional experiences are suppressed, they accumulate and eventually manifest themselves in the form of some kind of symptom: either purely neurotic (the already listed depressions, insomnia, some irrational fears - phobias), or some kind of psychosomatic illness, for example, peptic ulcer or asthma. Also, suppressed anxiety and aggression accumulated over the years can break out in outbursts of anger, irritation at oneself, one's life, loved ones, which also does not improve the situation in the family.

People often perceive a visit to a psychologist as a kind of “weakness”. Our culture is dominated by the belief that a person should cope with his problems and life difficulties himself. Otherwise, he's a weakling. It is still permissible for a woman to cry sometimes (although husbands do not like this either), to complain to her friends, but a man must definitely endure all adversity steadfastly, "grit his teeth and endure." Well, if you have already fallen off your feet - then go to the surgeon, cut out the ulcer or something else. But a few years before that, turn to a psychologist, tell him about your problems, get emotional relief, "grit your teeth", find new ways of interacting with people - not so conflicting and stressful, and thus, perhaps, protect yourself from ulcers, heart attack, stroke (the list goes on), nervous breakdowns and the like - no, no way. Only weak people do this, but I am strong, I can cope with all my problems myself. Yes and no I have any problems. Subordinates only enrage with their stupidity, but it's not about me, it's about them.

In Western culture, this is no longer the case. Visits to a psychotherapist (our profession of a psychotherapist is a medical specialty, unlike most countries, therefore the activity of a psychologist is called psychological counseling), undergoing psychoanalysis is not only a completely natural phenomenon that no one is ashamed of, but also a part of culture. Everyone is well aware of the tremendous benefits of psychoanalysis and psychotherapy, and, for example, long-term (several years) therapy is often carried out simply as prevention.

I remember the first time I noticed this when I was reading one of the books by the American family therapist Karl Whitaker. He talks about one of the married couples who came to see him and mentions in passing that each of their spouses went through personal therapy for several years after graduating from college. For them, this is the norm. Do not wait until everything becomes bad, but undergo psychoanalysis or long-term psychotherapy as prevention.

So, if you are experiencing difficulties in life, problems in relationships, especially if the accumulated internal stress is already breaking through in the form of symptoms, neurotic or psychosomatic, if you are going through a life crisis or even just want to better understand yourself, your desires - psychological counseling, and the more long-term therapy is what you need.

It is usually easier for women to go to therapy (consultation), most of the clients of psychologists are women. Men, as I have already written, usually turn to when they are already completely "baked". So, if you are thinking, overcome the irrational, culture-imposed feeling of shame about referring to a psychologist (if you have one), and come for a consultation - success!