I Want An Ex Or Convince You That Everything That Happened Is Not A Tragedy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I want an ex or convince you that everything that happened is not a tragedy! The worst tragedy of love is just one of many acts in a long theatrical production called "life." The tragedy is followed by an intermission. But what will happen next - a comedy, a new tragedy, a love story, or just your happy life, what will be the further repertoire of life itself - depends only on you and on your worldly wisdom!

Since there is nothing more to add to this, I immediately turn to practical recommendations on how to convince myself that all the love affairs that have happened to you are not a tragedy.

Practical advice.

I want an ex or convince you that everything that happened is not a tragedy! - First. Draw analogies!

To begin with, remember dozens of similar examples from the lives of your friends and acquaintances. With your mind's eye, run through your entire class, your group at a university or college, your team. Identify situations where people broke up and then found other totally awesome guys or gorgeous girls! By the way, much better than those that they had before. After all, you know for sure a lot of such examples. Is not it? Of course it is! Who told you that your own situation is not from the same series ?!

I want an ex or convince you that everything that happened is not a tragedy! - Second. Admit that others are right.

When people are friends, they are temporarily deaf and blind to the opinions of others. But it is the people around you - mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, friends and girlfriends are different even then, that is, in fact - they immediately said and warned that this person is not yours! That he (s) somehow does not treat you like that! That he (she) lacks education, external data, tact, good manners and, elementary, brains! That you are definitely not one field of berries! That it is not with his (her) physiognomy to shove into the Kalashny row! That he (a) does not deserve you! And you do not value yourself and underestimate these relations very much! And so on, on, on!

Now you can catch your breath, come to your senses and understand how all your loved ones were right! Say a big, big thank you to them! Remember forever:

Our relatives, friends and acquaintances -

this is our first line of defense!

Moreover, even when we do not see the need to defend!

More precisely, precisely when we ourselves do not see danger for ourselves.

For this, you can and should say thank you very much to them!

By the way, promise them from now on to heed their warnings better! And submit the current ended relationship to the archive as not having passed face control by others. Just do it! Collect all the postcards and letters from your partner, all your photographs, put them in a special daddy, write on it "Archive: for official use only!", And hide it far away. Or even solemnly burn it or send it to the garbage chute. You look, it will immediately become easier!

I want an ex or convince you that everything that happened is not a tragedy! - Third. Understand the insignificance of this love story in your life.

For example, ask yourself how many years you plan to live. For example, 60, 70, 80 years old! Or 100! Then divide that number by the number of years you've wasted with that person. For example, divide the estimated 80 years by 5 years spent together. It turns out 20. It turns out that you spent (gave) on your former love only one-twentieth of your life. Of course, it is perceptible, but, you must admit, not fatal! And if you have been friends for only two years, and you plan to live 80 years, then 80 is divided by 2, it turns out 40! That is, you only spent one fortieth of your life! Nothing to talk about! And in general, one fortieth part of life can be sacrificed for the sake of not repeating the mistakes made in the future! Agree ?! Here are the clever ones!

Even if you've been together for 10 years, it's only one tenth of a hundred! So, life goes on even in this case! And in general, it has long been known:

For one beaten two unbeaten give!

In love, this is especially relevant and topical!

So, congratulations: your value and importance have just doubled! Be proud of yourself!

I want an ex or convince you that everything that happened is not a tragedy! - Fourth. Give yourself the setting you want!

Be sure to replace the entry that corresponded to the number of your loved one in your mobile phone. As a rule, all lovers have something like “Favorite”, “Sweet”, “Kitten”, “Sweetheart”, “Pusik”, etc. instead of the last name of their boyfriend or girlfriend. etc. Accordingly, when you received a call or eSMS, all this cute nonsense was highlighted on the screen, and it was all very, very pleasant. But now the time is not the same … Make changes to the phone with an unwavering hand. Write something like "Former mob" or "Past mob". Or even: "I got it!" Or again: "It's time to forget." Now, when they call or write to you, it will be easier to go through all this emotionally. (Exception: If you fall in love with enviable consistency, it means that soon there will be records in your phone, such as: Past 1 mob., Past 2 mob., Past 3 mob., And so on. So you can easily get confused who are you writes or calls …)

I do not recommend writing bad words (like "Goat" or "Gadina") in your phone book. In general, I do not advise openly humiliating your past relationship. They are all the same - your own. So, let's not rewrite history in a new way every time …

I want an ex or convince you that everything that happened is not a tragedy! - Fifth. Have pity on the one you broke up with.

It doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman, it doesn't matter who initiated the breakup, it doesn't matter why you broke up: If it was you who left, in any case, this breakup has a share of the fault of the person who did something wrong, and, thus, lost the opportunity to be close to such, in essence, kind, honest, funny, beautiful and sexy representative of your gender, which, no doubt, you are!

If they abandoned you, there is generally endless space for pity. After all, the worst of all, in fact, is always the one who quits. First, they are the ones who take the blame for ending the relationship. Secondly, to a much greater extent than an abandoned person, they can be tormented by their conscience for causing suffering to the person whom they rejected. Thirdly, they make themselves responsible for their own personal life that has not developed, if it really does not work out later. So, in general, praise yourself, "love", so to speak, by contradiction. And remember:

The more you feel sorry for the one who could not resist

next to you, the more you will feel

a blooming person in the prime of creative, mental, physical and sexual strength.

This method is often one of the most optimal, in order to defeat another very unpleasant consequence of unsuccessful love relationships - the feeling that you are some kind of "inferior", since no one has anything with you it turns out "seriously and for a long time." According to my observations, at least every fifth participant in unsuccessful love relationships forms such an impression of themselves. And this is nothing more than one of the variants of the inferiority complex common among people. This is, so to speak, his love version. It greatly interferes with completely normal and absolutely healthy people to go further through life and make new acquaintances. After all, people struck by this ailment begin to think something like this: “Well, who needs me like that (needs me) !? Is it possible for me to meet and keep a worthy person near me if others refuse me, if I am not able (not capable) of arousing interest in myself …"

Such people are usually advised to make a new boyfriend or girlfriend and, thanks to the very fact of a new acquaintance, overcome this contrived complex. This is also the correct method of treatment. I also recommend it to everyone. But, only if one rule is observed: Do not rush into a new relationship as into battle, as the last time, do not behave as if your whole future depends on these new relationships. Do not make new mistakes "in the heat of battle", which will only superimpose on your old mistakes and psychological problems and create additional difficulties for you.

To avoid new and old mistakes, to be morally and psychologically ready for new love trials, first raise your vitality. Dig into yourself and find many great qualities for which you simply cannot be appreciated. Find out for yourself and ask around your friends and acquaintances: Are you cute, are you cheerful, can you present yourself correctly, etc. etc. Create a solid rear and a springboard for yourself before a new battle, in the form of self-respect for yourself. And for this, as I said above, it is best to feel sorry for the other. In this case, your past loved one. After such an increase in your own rating by contradiction, your life will become much easier and more fun. And other people will be drawn to the cheerful and happy smile of a person who respects himself …

In general, until you begin to appreciate and respect yourself, no one will hold on to you. The human world is a cruel world. Only the strong are respected in him …

I want an ex or convince you that everything that happened is not a tragedy! - Sixth. Get angry with your ex.

Accept the idea that even if you ended your love relationship "in an amicable way", without mutual curses and accusations, to ease mental anguish, you still have (at least temporarily) to take offense at your former loved one. Now it is necessary.

In life, "by mutual consent" love relationships are rarely terminated. Therefore, the most ideal option is if someone is the initiator of the breakup, and the second party, who will experience certain suffering, at the same time, will not greatly interfere with the first party to build new personal relationships. This is what I call "in an amicable way."

Of course, there are exceptions when people continue to treat each other very reverently and tenderly, even years after their separation. But this usually happens when people still continue to sincerely love each other, and their separation was associated with some objective events. But, even in these cases, according to my surveys and observations, at the first stage of "post-love relationship" even they had an internal resentment, unexpected for them, towards someone who was once near …

Why is this happening, why is it necessary? The fact is that the human brain to some extent resembles an expensive and complex electronic device. And like every expensive electronic device, so as not to “burn out from power surges”, it has its own internal “fuses”, which in their essence and functions are very similar to ordinary household fuses. Their task, at the right moment (when the voltage threshold becomes dangerously high), or turn off the device for some period at all (this is when you faint from excitement or pain. Scenario number 1), or just instantly switch it from one mode to another (Scenario # 2).

In the case of an ended love relationship, we have scenario # 2. Your consciousness, for some time, by inertia, will continue to still think about the former (s). After all, for so many months or years, it, like a radio, has been tuned "to the frequency" of another person. And it could not be otherwise. And now, after the termination of the relationship, you begin to have a kind of split consciousness. One part of it, controlled by your will and mind, wants to forget “that person” and tries to “start living in a new way” (perhaps already trying to “readjust” to another person). The other, completely under the power of love, refuses on principle to do this and downright insists on continuing the relationship.

And this is where the "fuse" is needed. When a complete "discord" begins in your mind, and you already want to live on in a new way, but at the same time, every day you remember dozens of such sweet and pleasant moments, related mainly to the heyday of past relationships, this "fuse" takes itself the function of "arbitrator" and tells you: "Stop! You can not do it this way! You need to decide: you either love another person, and then let's stomp to him and fall to his (her) feet with a request “to start all over again”, or firmly and unequivocally drop the “burden of the past”, forget it and build a love relationship with someone else. Either this or that! Otherwise, no way … ". And since, “just forget” a former beloved person, none of us is able to simply “physically”, due to the characteristic features of the work of our brain, it means that these areas of memory (where information about a happy joint past is stored) should be gently urgently blocked. And there is only one way to do it: Write on this memory area in big black letters the word "CAN'T!" KILL!”. Simply put, your overheated "fuse" (as in a boiling kettle) should click and suddenly and abruptly change the polarity, change the assessment of this memory area from the plus sign (+) to the minus sign (-).

And if you did not do it yourself, that is, at the time of your final conflict and separation, then your fuse will take over. In response to your good memories, he will diligently slip you all the most painful and unpleasant memories (especially if they were recorded in a special "Notebook of Grievances"), wake up your most terrible past and present suspicions, and urge you, finally then (even now!) to think better and understand: “You, in fact, were not loved, but only used for their own purposes! And you "fell in love (s)" head over heels, like a durra (k)! Come on already be smarter! Forget these months and years, thrown away completely in vain, calm down and start living on in spite of this reptile! Wow !!!"

Surely, you have already gone through all this. And if you haven't passed it yet, then you will definitely pass it. And now you will be mentally prepared to understand the processes that will take place in your mind after the beginning of separation. Treat everything that happens with understanding. Forgive me! After all, now you have a life ahead of you already without this person …

So, in your mind, a "fuse" will surely click, which (temporarily or permanently) will blacken your years passed together, prove to you how naive you were and how much you made a mistake in this person, embittered you against someone who "just stole from you the best years and forced them to waste, instead of making a career, making money, acquiring acquaintances or, normally getting married - getting married ", will make an unambiguous conclusion: In the field of memories of this (as it was just found out) disgusting past, you can no longer walk ! (Remember: you don't go there, you go here!). A large rusty padlock will be hung on this memory area. And from now on you will only run there secretly, from time to time, realizing that you are doing it wrong and contrary to your own interests …

In general, accept the fact that white will turn black and black will turn white. No matter how sad and unfair it may sound: Temporarily (and only temporarily), and you really need it now. Necessary!

In the period immediately following the final separation, you urgently need to hate the one you previously loved so deeply, for whom you were ready to make any sacrifices, humiliation and even death … Alas, you need it.

For those interested in the inner meaning of the ongoing processes, I will say the following: The conflict in your mind of two hotbeds of "love thinking", "old" and "new", if it cannot be avoided in time by clicking the "fuse", can do terrible things. People lose sleep, commit meaningless acts, they are seized by depression, they can go crazy, commit suicide. Or, on the contrary, they begin to consider the return of a lost person, or a terrible revenge on him, as the main goal of their future life. You probably all know this. And, since neither you, nor I, as the author of this book, are interested in you taking this terrible and disastrous path, we need to understand together the logic of Mother Nature, which once supplied us all (in the process of evolution) by this very electronic-biological computer, called the human brain.

So, Mother Nature, in principle, also does not want you to "dry up with love" or throw yourself out the window. She needs you to meet your loved one, create a family and give a viable offspring. So to speak, they continued the line of evolution. This is, on the one hand. But, on the other hand, Mother Nature is very offended that in this case “it didn’t grow together” for you. And she may, unexpectedly for you, decide that you are a biologically "inferior individual" - since someone denies you the possibility of reproduction. (Like, what are you "Balts", since you cannot "talk" to anyone!). And, accordingly, consider you an "extra element", a "genetic marriage" subject to "exclusion from the line of evolution" by gradually "driving you crazy." (This is, so to speak, a way of enforcing the judgment of Mother Nature.) And, in the end, Mother Nature will take it, and will not allow your inner "fuse" to turn on. Or, turn it on, and then turn it off immediately. You will begin to suffer from an emotional split, and you will wither …

I’m not joking about this. I know what I'm talking about. Doctors and psychologists have known for a long time that at the moment of the strongest internal discomfort, which has arisen, just because your protective fuse of consciousness did not turn on in time, the body's immunity can sharply drop and people begin to suffer from such diseases that they never even have. never heard of, and which would have been absolutely impossible when people were still together. And all this is because Mother Nature, thus, “executes you”, tests you for strength, finds out whether you, revealing your inability to properly organize the process of your reproduction, can survive in this situation …

Based on all this, I sincerely advise "not to go against the tide." If for your own good you need to hate your former beloved person - be so kind, do it and hate him (her) with every fiber of your soul. And it will immediately become much easier for you.

Remember: In this hatred there is no actual hatred, there is no real appreciation of the love that has happened to you. The real assessment will take place later. Through the years. Or maybe in decades. When you either realize that you made a fatal mistake, parting with the one who loved you so sincerely, or did the absolutely right thing, “jumping off this train in time”, because “God advised me, thank him for that…”. All this will come later. Much later. Until then, hate it! And don't be afraid of that. In this case, it is just medicine and medicine again. Do you want to get well? Exactly…

And if you still could not hate, then run as fast as you can after this person and beg him to resume the relationship. And if he is tuned in exactly the same way, do not repeat the previous mistakes, immediately run to the registry office, formalize the relationship, live together, "be fruitful and multiply." But if you don’t want to reunite and doesn’t work out, and neither you nor your partner are going to glue the "split cup of love", then … THEN YOU WILL HATE IT ALL LIKE !!! OH, HOW DO YOU START TO HATE HIM !!! Then your emotional and psychological "fuse" will turn on anyway. Because Mother Nature still wants you more to live and give birth, and not walk around the apartment, meticulously examining fasteners for chandeliers in order to find out which one can support your weight …

I want an ex or convince you that everything that happened is not a tragedy! - And one more thing: If Mother Nature has put you on her "black list" and stubbornly does not turn on the fuse of hatred for your former loved one, do it yourself. Or, rationally write on a piece of paper all the pros and cons of communicating with this "person who has done so badly to you." (And try to make it so that there are more cons …). Understand again:

You can't be nice to your ex.

and immediately start a new love relationship with a new partner.

If you chase two hares, you won't catch a single one!

A successful relationship still won't work! From here, take courage and make your choice. And then either go back, or curse the wasted years and money and move on with life. And then everything will work out for you …

And you will start to respect your former loved one again later. Only when everything works out for you in the present tense …

In general, I advise you to part with your unsuccessful love past, albeit in tears, but with a certain humor and, most importantly, with fighting fervor !! It's easier and more useful this way! Honest Zberovsky! Therefore, it is better to think I do not want the former, but I want a new one!