I Want A Child Or The Art Of Having Children On Time

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I want a child or the art of having children on time. Children who are not born on time may well become the cause of such family conflicts, because of which they may never be born at all … You may think that I am exaggerating. In no case! Let's just remember:

A family conflict is both the result of identification and the process of identification itself, as well as the process of eliminating the inconsistency of partners with each other for some of the ten main features-characteristics of family relations, where point # 10 just sounds like this: “Someone of the spouses refuses to have joint children, refuses to participate in the upbringing of the partner's children from another marriage (or love relationship), takes a completely irreconcilable, and therefore conflicting, position on the issue of birth, upbringing and maintenance of children.

Do you remember? That is great! Now let's remember why the institution of marriage itself exists, why it is relevant to this day. Why do modern men and women create a family? What are the reasons?

The main reasons for creating families in modern times

• Reason # 1. For sex. The answer is wrong, since in our days there is as much sex around as you like and a normal person is now completely unable to solve his intimate problems of labor.
• Reason # 2. To solve the housing issue. Of course, for some part of men and women, this is still relevant: parents are tired of alcoholism, they want to move from village to city, they are evicted from the hostel, etc. However, this concerns no more than 20% of all men and women, and their number is gradually decreasing.
• Reason number 3. To solve your financial problems and strengthen yourself financially. This option also happens to be relevant, but again for no more than about 30% of men and women, and these percentages almost entirely include those 20% of people getting married and getting married who do not have a roof over their heads.
• Reason number 4. To get into a higher social stratum. Such marriages of convenience are not at all uncommon, however, their percentage in ours, again, is no more than 20-30%, and, as a rule, these are the same men and women that we just talked about in options No. 2 and # 3.
• Reason number 5. For someone to be engaged in household services for this individual: fed, watered, washed, ironed, soaped, vacuum cleaned, etc. It is clear that we are mainly talking about men and for about half of them, this point is still more than significant. But for women, option number 6 is much more significant.
• Reason number 6. To always be close to your loved one and eliminate the reasons for jealousy. Without a doubt, this is a very significant argument and, according to my observations, about 30% -40% of men and women start a family for this two-fold reason. However, after a certain number of years of passion, emotions and feelings subside somewhat and for the once insanely loving and jealous people, variants of reasons from No. 1 to No. 5 still become more significant.
• Reason number 7. Skipping such common, but in our time all the same, insignificant reasons such as "evasion from the army", "to spite parents and friends", "out of a sense of deep respect", "because he (a) is of the same religion-nationality as me "and so on. Let's name the main reason # 7. Because men and women want to extend their lineage, they want to acquire their own children and betray their genes to new generations of people.

And it is precisely the desire to have children of their own that is the very reason why modern men and women still stubbornly create families! But this is despite the fact that there is enough sex around, now many no longer have material claims to the opposite sex, their social status is generally satisfied, and a bunch of household appliances and frozen food semi-finished products have been invented to solve everyday issues. And now you ask yourself: Do you agree with the family psychologist Andrei Zberovsky on this point? I am sure we agree!

It is the inextinguishable desire to give birth to their own children that is now the very main reason thanks to which proposals are made and families are created in the world every day.

I emphasize:

Unlike previous decades and centuries, when almost all of the above reasons were approximately equally important, nowadays the main burden in deciding to start a family falls precisely on the motive of the desire to have children! That is why the problems and quarrels associated with this particular motive have now become much more than it was before.

Of course, men and women have their own nuances. With all my sincere respect for women, as a psychologist, I note that when deciding to start a family, women first think less about future children: at first they are more pleased with the presence of a permanent man nearby, the end of loneliness, the very status of a married woman, an increase in financial opportunities etc. The thought of children comes to them a little later, but quickly becomes very significant. But for men, the situation is somewhat different:

When a man proposes to start a family, it means that he is already attuned to the appearance of children.

That is, a normally educated and well-mannered modern man, when deciding to create a family, first of all, is aware of two things at once:

- that he wants children from this particular girl-woman; - that he wants these children in a relatively short time. And this also has a nuance:

Wanting to start a family, most girls think about how this man will support his family, but the man thinks that he wants a child from this particular girl and the question of her abilities as a mother does not bother him much.

That is, for many girls, in principle, it is not important who to give birth to and whom to marry, as long as this man treats her well and demonstrates his ability to earn good money. But for a man who decides to start a family, it is fundamentally that he needs this particular girl, and in principle the birth of children is not somewhere in the distant future, but during a very specific time. I emphasize again:

When a man proposes to start a family, it means that he is already attuned to the appearance of children.

Otherwise, the man invites his chosen one to “periodically spend the night at his house,” “to live together,” or a civil marriage that is so familiar to many now. And it is precisely this nuance that respected ladies do not really understand, which, in fact, is precisely the reason for a large number of family chills, conflicts and even divorces. A nuance that sounds like this:

A man can overcome any family conflicts and decide to keep a family only if he either already has children in it, or they are about to appear.

You may be indignant and say that women have everything exactly the same, but I disagree with you. Years of my professional observations clearly show:

The percentage of those women who, in severe family conflicts, are able to keep their families together, if only for the sake of preserving their living space, husband's salary, career opportunities and guaranteed sex, is almost three times higher than the percentage of men.

Incidentally, it is for this reason that the number of homeless homeless men is many times greater than the number of homeless women. In the case of serious family troubles, men are much more inclined to "slam the door", to be on the street and there, then, to quickly fall asleep than women in a similar situation. And if a man in this situation either does not have children yet, or they have already grown up and do not cause much fear for themselves and the paternal instinct has almost fallen asleep, then the breakdown of the family and the appearance of another wandering alcoholic becomes almost guaranteed.

Enough about the bums, though. This is the topic of a separate family-social phenomenon that I will write someday. Returning to completely normal men and women, one of the problems of which in family life is the lack of knowledge about the specifics of the gender relationship to the issue of having their own children. So this is what I want to say:

If respectable women do not understand how important it is for a married man to have children quickly, or to have a second child after a reasonable time, the likelihood of their divorce will grow steadily from year to year.

And all because a woman until a certain point in time (her own moral maturation) is quite ready to live in marriage with a man, if only because she has resolved issues with an apartment, money, communication, social status and sex, but a man in this format cannot live. He cannot, if only simply because the very fact that he has created a family means that his latent (or conscious) motive is the appearance of his own children within a period of one to three years. Otherwise (that is, when they are either not born during this period, or the woman is delaying the birth of their second child), the man simply does not understand why he then got married? After all, your own mother could also feed, water, wash, sex can be obtained without an official stamp in the passport, and men rarely love to talk, exchange impressions and communicate with their own wives, for them it is not a motive to be with someone there be in the same apartment. Now, from all this, the final conclusion:

Due to the fact that at present the main motive for the creation of officially registered families by men is, first of all, an acute desire to have children, any delay in resolving this issue is fraught with divorce.

Now you can argue with me, give your arguments, talk about modern proud women who, in the event of a serious quarrel with her husband, can also slam the door and leave him, despite all his apartments, cars, garages, cottages, etc. But I will not listen to this anyway, since such behavior of many modern women not only does not prove anything new, but only worsens the family situation as a whole. It is getting worse simply because if the moral, material and intimate dividends from family life are no longer important for modern women, then the absence in young families of the most important bonding factor - the factor of joint children - finally undermines the foundations of the foundations of a modern family. Which, in fact, throughout this chapter I tried to prove to you. Tried to prove and show that:

And the first, and second, and third child in the family is desirable not just to give birth, but to give birth precisely in a timely manner, in exact accordance with the expectations of either both spouses, or the one who has a greater desire to have a child faster, or a tendency to divorce.

But all sorts of specific details, such as the phrase "… in strict accordance with the expectations of either both spouses, or the one who has a greater desire to have a child faster, or a tendency to divorce" I will decipher in practical recommendations. Practical advice.

First. If the experience of love friendship is very long, the child should be given birth in the first years of marriage.

Second. The break in the birth of children should not be more than three to five years.

Third. Eliminate thoughts of only one child in your family.

If you are not afraid to love - do not be afraid to start a family! Don't be afraid to start a family - don't be afraid to give birth to many children!

Master the art of having children on time and your family is guaranteed to be not only happy, but also one for life! So do you really not want this ?! So it's time to get down to business!

I also advise you to read my books such as:

This will help you avoid many mistakes in your couple or family.