Panic Attacks. Real Stories. Why Me ?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Panic attacks. Real stories

Why me ?

Naumenko Lesya, gestalt therapist

“The panic attack has become the emblem of the elusive pain of our time. A bad state for no apparent reason can happen to those who have everything, as well as to those who have always led not just a normal life, but a life full of meaning - a bold, focused on positive values. Margherita Spagnolo Lobb

Part 1. Visible

While working on this article, I wanted to make visible both the pain and the beauty of people who are faced with a panic attack. This is all close and close to us, in our daily life.

Tamara, 35 years old (researcher)

“I came home after a corporate party, there was a noisy company, it was fun, I drank one and a half glasses of dry wine and this is quite a bit. And suddenly, I felt a strong anxiety … I tried to understand the cause of the anxiety and … I could not, everything seemed to be fine … I tried to fall asleep and as soon as I started to fall asleep, I jumped up from strong anxiety, as if something very terrible would happen (or the world will collapse, or something bad will happen to someone close to you). I could not breathe, neither inhale nor exhale, my heartbeat quickened … I felt only fear, crazy fear … and it intensified from the feeling that I could not control my breathing … this is the simplest thing and I cannot …

My husband called me an ambulance.

The doctors examined me, listened to my lungs, measured my blood pressure, looked into my throat, and all the indicators were more or less normal, there was clearly nothing that could lead to such symptoms. I was given an injection and I immediately calmed down and fell asleep.

The next day, I ran to the doctor - "Doctor, I'm dying!"

The doctor prescribed sedatives and advised to see a psychologist. What kind of psychologist when I die? This is definitely some kind of disease that was not found … I got sick, what to discuss with a psychologist, I have something with my throat … maybe pressure and this is clearly not for a psychologist!

I took sedatives, but attacks still happened. My throat was terribly sore at night and only at night. This pain was bursting and did not let me fall asleep.

I learned to recognize, by the first symptoms, the approach of an attack (palpitations, nothing to breathe, palms are sweating). The attack began and ended suddenly for no reason, in different places and under different circumstances. And it was very embarrassing when the attack took place in the presence of other people. I couldn't explain what it was? What is happening to me and why …"

Tatiana (Tamara's sister)

“When I saw my sister's attack for the first time, I was scared. It seemed to me that she was dying in front of my eyes, she could not breathe, it is really scary. I wanted to call an ambulance to be rescued … she definitely has some kind of terrible illness …"

Anatoly (ambulance doctor)

“There are calls to patients who have an attack that is described as a heart attack. But, in contrast to the heart, all indicators (blood pressure, heart rate, throat condition, temperature) are in relative norm and there are complaints of great anxiety and fear - either to die or to go crazy. I use traditional symptomatic treatments (sedatives, antispasmodics, heart medications). I have noticed that calls to such patients can be repeated periodically.”

Ekaterina (cardiologist, family doctor)

“I am often approached by people with panic attacks. (ICD-10 / F41.0 / Panic disorder [episodic paroxysmal anxiety]), and more often than not, people want to find any cause with the heart or lungs, only so that the diagnosis of "panic attacks" is ruled out. It is easier when something is tangible, you can see on an ultrasound or X-ray, and act on it. Panic attacks in medical practice are really a diagnosis of exclusion, that is, a diagnosis when other possible pathologies have already been excluded.

Complaints and main symptoms:

- an attack most often occurs suddenly (for no apparent reason)

-the patient talks about fear, anxiety, horror (although in the doctor's office they usually don't talk about fears)

- a feeling of constriction, compression in the chest, palpitations: "I was afraid that my chest might burst"

-the inability to inhale or exhale

- sweaty palms

numbness of the limbs

Summing up a small summary, I would single out two main criteria that are always present in panic attacks - this is suddenness, "like a bolt from the blue," and horror, fear, accompanying the entire attack.

Such patients usually come with a bunch of tests, pre-examinations, they have already gone to the doctors, underwent expensive examinations, or if for the first time, then, naturally, I examine such a patient. The diagnosis of PA sounds questionable and, as practice shows, as a result, no cardiac pathology that could cause such symptoms is found.

As a cardiologist, of course, I prescribe medication to promote relaxation and tranquility. Patients are usually ashamed of their illness, categorically do not want to believe in the psychological origin of this condition, quite often they continue to search for a magic pill and a magic doctor, or hope to "resolve", ignore the consultation of a psychotherapist.

Recently, I have noticed a significant increase in the number of people with PA symptoms.”

Part 2. Invisible

A panic attack is shrouded in a halo of mystery, inexplicable reasons, amazing symptoms against a background of well-being … and where does the psychotherapist have to do with it?

What is the connection between bodily manifestation and mental state?

Where to look to see what is inconspicuous?

This is what my clients' stories sound like when we look at the situation more broadly than just the bodily symptoms together.

So back to Tamara:

“Yes, there were several events that shocked me:

9 months before the first attack, the father died … suddenly, a heart attack …

And also, two months before, my daughter fell ill, became very ill. she had whooping cough. Coughing up with vomiting every hour, it scared me a lot … I was afraid that I would lose her … as a father … and it seems that psychologically I did not cope. I didn't realize that I really needed help. And as it turned out, she was in great need.

Two years have passed since I have been living without panic attacks, I am grateful to the group therapy, those people who were not afraid, were there, I felt it and it was healing for me. I am glad that I got rid of this and I will not wish this on the enemy …"

Arthur, 21 (student)

“I like music, I write raps, I'm good at it. But the father says that this is not an occupation for a man, that he needs to get down to business (he has a small business).

I am afraid to leave the house myself, I can only move around in my area and only when accompanied by friends. Because I think that I will feel bad - I will fall and lose consciousness."

6 months before:

“I had an operation. I sat a lot at the entrance, on concrete steps (because songs are born there) and as a result; coccyx surgery. I went outside the hospital, wanted to meet friends, I felt bad and I passed out.

And also, my father is sick, very sick, we found out a month ago. He has stage 4 cancer and… I don’t even want to think about it, but if something happens to him…. I will have to forget about music and start the hated business, because according to our custom, I will become the breadwinner of the family …"

Alexander, 42 years old (manager)

“If it weren't for the attacks that appeared 2 years ago, I’m doing well … It happened for no reason, I was driving and had a seizure, I thought I was having a heart attack. The hospital did a cardiogram and sent me home, everything was fine with my heart. And the attacks began to recur. Yes, I heard that it looks like a panic attack … I do not believe that the reason is psychological …

Two years ago, just before my first attack, I lost my job. At that time my wife was pregnant, for about a month I was in limbo … Then I was very nervous, of course, because all the responsibility was on me. But I did it? And now we want another child, but the attacks interfere …"

Anna, 29 years old (programmer)

“An ordinary evening with my family, watching a movie with my husband. I went to bed calm and suddenly realized that I felt bad. At first there was a feeling that I was falling somewhere, flying down … this sensation was quickly connected to the feeling that I did not feel my arms and legs. As if they are, I can move them, but they are not mine, like strangers. When I looked at them, it became scary.

After that, the whole body began to shake and there was a fear that I would die, since I did not understand what was happening to me. The main feeling is fear. Fear of dying.

Then I began to let go a little and my head began to hurt (the ambulance found that there was high pressure - the pressure was knocked down), but the alarm did not go away.

Then I started tachycardia, and I could not sleep, because it seemed to me that I forgot to breathe as soon as I lost control of myself even a little, then I twitched in horror (while taking a very deep breath, as if I had not breathed for a long time already) and did not let herself fall asleep. This went on until 6 am. The main thing in all this - I was afraid to die, I was afraid to suffocate, I was afraid that something terrible had happened to me.

But in general - nothing, since I did not immediately realize that it was a panic attack. Until that moment, this had not happened to me, and I myself could not identify that it was a panic attack. And the doctors said that it was just pressure, and the therapist said the next day that it was normal with my VSD. After 5 doctors somewhere, it sounded - Panic Attack.

And on Monday (the attack was from Thursday to Friday) I went to work. And on Tuesday, it became hard for me to breathe. And from that moment on, the great research and treatment of me began.

Tightened muscles were treated with sedative, anti-inflammatory, and relaxing drugs. Although I must pay tribute to the fact that the neurologist also said that such a pinching of the spine at my age (according to her experience) is emotional, not back problems. Although she prescribed me drugs that relieve this very squeeze, she advised me to understand the psychological aspect of the problem, since the pills gave only temporary relief, and until I understand myself, the squeeze will return.

And in the city clinic, my condition (the presence of panic attacks) was actively associated with protrusions and was told not to eat meat and do exercises for the neck + I followed a whole spine treatment regimen, including massages and physiotherapy.

In the beginning, panic attacks were very common. Several times a day, and between them there was a "otdnyak", because it was bad almost all the time. I could not sleep, because the time of falling asleep for me was the trigger for the onset of the attack (since the first time the attack happened exactly at the moment when I went to bed). It got to the point that I couldn't even eat.

On the street, sometimes my head began to spin, it seemed that I would fall. It was getting hard to breathe. This was especially felt in transport, when there were a lot of people in the crossings.

Over time, the attacks became less severe, I felt a wave of anxiety passing through my body, a little dizziness sometimes. But until the very last moment I struggled with the acceptance that this is a psychological problem and that it should be solved not only with pills and ointments. I was afraid that something had not been examined in me."

8 months before:

“There was a robbery of our apartment when we were away, which broke through all our fears and concerns. After this event, I began to feel much less protected and much more vulnerable.. I can only guess, but still: on the day of the first panic attack, I learned that my colleague had been robbed. Perhaps it somehow influenced. And by the way, when I was a child, our apartment was also robbed.

This event is the brightest, but not the only one. A lot has happened over the past six months.

After the robbery, I started to get sick a lot. For 8 months I have been ill 12 times.

My husband did not go with the business and he was left without any earnings, and the provision of the family fell on my shoulders.

I changed my job for a much less convenient one, but with a higher income.

This all gradually knocked the ground out from under my feet.

When I started treatment (taking sedatives and going to a psychotherapist, attacks began to appear less often - once every few days), but their strength was still quite high.

Here's what I'm thinking now:

1) I feel like I came back from hell and survived.

2) To some extent, I am grateful to the disease that it made me look differently at the attitude, first of all, towards myself, and secondly, at all events, people, actions … at everything in general.

3) I understand that it is curable, you can live with it, but it is important to accept this for yourself, to realize that you need help, that you need to work on yourself and change. Only then will any treatment, both psychotherapeutic and medication, have real power and effect.

4) I sincerely want doctors to begin to understand this more and not to prescribe valerian to drink, and not to shout at the person who has an attack and is crying (as I did), and to understand that symptoms are not always the disease itself, sometimes everything lies much deeper and much more complicated than it seems.

5) I hope (with all my heart I want to believe in it) that I will completely recover from anxiety, from panic attacks and this will never come back to me and will not happen again."