2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is considered very important to establish contact with your Inner Child. They write articles, books, conduct trainings and shoot videos about this. It is customary to "find", "heal" and adore the Inner Child in every possible way. But is it really so necessary and useful?
The Inner Child is often considered traumatized, lost, abandoned, tortured by a lack of understanding, care and love. In fact, this part of the personality keeps in itself the memories of distant childhood, where you were treated badly or unfairly. This is the part that needs your attention and warmth, because otherwise you will experience sadness, longing and loneliness, as well as beg / demand this love from other people. Only this is not all about the Inner Child.
Has it ever happened to you that you decided to finally start exercising and go on a diet, but the next day, after exhausting work in the gym, you are lying on the couch and eating cakes with chips, watching TV shows or playing computer games? Or situations when you burst into tears in public, naughty your boss at work, quarreled with your loved one and said nasty things to him, slamming the door? Have you had any regrets afterwards? Have you told yourself that you were overly emotional, hot-tempered, you should have responded more calmly?
All of this is also your Inner Child. Are you surprised? Imagine an ordinary child. Sometimes he is cute, funny, fun with him; you want to take care of him, play with him and buy him candy. But it so happens that the child is capricious, screams, cries, wants to eat only ice cream and watch cartoons all day, and even smear the wallpaper with purple paint and hit the Bear from the sandbox with a spatula. Does this picture evoke warm feelings?
People in whom the Child comes to the fore (Superego and Ego are weaker than ID) are usually irrational, impulsive, unpredictable, disorganized and irresponsible.
Why is that?
Let's figure it out. The Inner Child is Freud's ID, It. Your unconscious. This is your sensual, creative, intuitive part, which is guided by the principle of pleasure. So "I want" sounds in my head regardless of external circumstances, rules and norms of ethical behavior. And emotions are expressed regardless of how appropriate they are, what the consequences will be, whether they affect someone close or important to you.
It is very important to understand that, in addition to love and care, for the Inner Child it is necessary to set rules, look for options to achieve goals, think about the consequences and sometimes postpone instant gratification for the sake of a goal that takes time. This part of you needs to be approached, and it can be tricky. For this, it is necessary that the Superego (Parent) and Ego (Adult) interact with the ID. The Parent would be not only caring, but sometimes strict, and the Adult (objective side) would see external opportunities for the realization of desires and achievement of goals, and would also help the Parent and the Child find a common language.
Happiness and well-being are not based on indulging momentary desires and sudden emotional outbursts, they are directly related to inner harmony.
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