2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05
How to understand that you are ready for a new relationship?
I offer you a small checklist:
- Past relationships do not cause anger, hatred, tears. You don't faint when you meet your ex. You remember with slight sadness or gratitude for the bright moments. Or for experience.
- You are not afraid of being alone. Do not sit for hours waiting for a call or SMS, but fill your life with what interests you.
- You are ready for a new relationship if your life is not more focused on one person. Do not monitor his social networks anymore, you have your own circle of friends, hobbies, entertainment. Happy whether you are in a relationship or not.
- You do not envy other people's relationships and do not cry over melodramas, because you know that one day it will be with you.
- You feel an excess of warmth, tenderness, passion that you want to share. When you want love not out of deficit, but out of excess.
- I want to go on dates, meet new people, talk about myself and my life, charm and fall in love.
- You know how to say "no", you clearly know what you like. You have personal boundaries - clear enough not to be sat on your head, manipulated, or used. But at the same time, they are flexible, because in a relationship there are two completely unfamiliar, different people and it is important to be able to take steps towards each other.
If you answered yes to most of the points, you can go in search of a new relationship, armed with a few rules:
First rule
End your old relationship, so as not to drag on resentment and ideas about the past partner. So to say: "Start from scratch." We need time to heal mental wounds and to draw conclusions from the experience gained.
The second rule.
WITH a new partner to get closer gradually, get to know each other in order to understand what kind of person he is, how comfortable, reliable and safe you are with him, whether your values and views on the future coincide. How much you match each other on three levels: soul, body, mind. Very often passion blinds our eyes, and the heart chooses the wrong ones. Pay attention not only to the words, but also to the actions of the man in relation to you. It is important that words do not diverge from actions.
A breakup with a previous partner is difficult for many. Therefore, people often choose the easiest way - to heal mental wounds and escape from loneliness in a new relationship. To take revenge - "let him see how happy I am with someone else." Raise self-esteem at the expense of a new man, feeling more desirable and loved. But would it be fair to your new partner? What if this is exactly what he does to you in this relationship?
It happens that you dive headlong into a whirlwind romance in order to "get drunk" from a heady bowl of passion and forget your ex. And in the end, you step on the same rake:
- Again the man hurt, disappeared without explanation when he conquered you.
- You fell in love with him and opened up, and he betrayed. I used it.
- Or are you disappointed - he turned out to be not at all who he pretended to be.
- And so in a circle. Each time it seems that everything will be different, but again failure.
Sound familiar?
And many girls blame themselves at the same time, they begin to delve into themselves, find and correct shortcomings. There comes a fear of loneliness, a feeling of uselessness, self-esteem falls catastrophically.
It happens that people come to me, as a psychologist, with a desire to understand "What's wrong with me, correct my shortcomings" with the aim of returning the former.
And then you know what happens? That everything is so with them - clever, beautiful, but low self-esteem and a huge deficit of love. And they chose the “wrong” partners. In this case, we heal mental wounds, work on women's self-esteem, dignity, analyze and complete past relationships. A woman becomes confident, financially independent, learns to choose a man and build relationships.
If you feel that you have problems with self-esteem, it is difficult for you to make new acquaintances, fear, distrust of men, traumas of infidelity, betrayal, a negative scenario repeats from time to time or an unsuccessful choice of a partner, I invite you to an individual psychological consultation. Online or in person. Contacts on our website are in my profile.
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