Fear And Anxiety. What To Do With Them

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

We are all anxious and afraid of something. Fear often accompanies us day in and day out. We are plagued by various doubts. Are you familiar with the following questions?

- What if, if we accept this decision, it will be wrong, and we will lose?

- What if I fail the exam or the deal burns out?

- And if my colleagues laughed at me, would I suggest a new idea of business innovation?

- your option …

These kinds of thoughts accompany each of us. The only question is intensity and frequency. What to do?

The only logical answer that comes to my mind is this: take and do what you have in mind, despite the anxiety and fear.

It is interesting, but when we do something, plan, actively implement our plans, then there is no place for anxiety. There is no place for fear. It's all about concentration. We cannot concentrate our attention on many things at the same time. This also applies to feelings. If we are focused on action, and it takes all our attention, then all our energy will go into action. She will not be left to think about how this action is correct, necessary, valuable. Also, there will be no energy left in order to reflect on all the failures that may arise on the way to the realization of what was planned. Then, when the action is done, then fear can return either about the perfect action or about future accomplishments. Most likely about the future, since most of the fear does not arise regarding the past.

It is worth noting, however, that the difference between fear and anxiety is that fear has an object, that is, we are always afraid of something. And anxiety has no object of experience. It arises as a vague feeling and can envelop the entire body and affect the general psycho-emotional state.

One of the methods of dealing with anxiety is to translate anxiety into fear, that is, to find the object of fear. Then, when we know what exactly we are afraid of, we have a chance to deal with it and choose what kind of relationship we will establish with the object of fear.

Returning to active actions, I would like to add that if we decided that we can remove anxiety completely, simply by working with it and determining its causes, then most likely we are mistaken, since anxiety, especially of an existential nature, is inherent in all people, and it cannot be destroyed. From time to time she visits even the most advanced connoisseurs of human souls. Therefore, striving in this sense for "sterility" means condemning yourself to failures over and over again. An excellent book on this subject was written by Rollo May, The Meaning of Anxiety. I recommend to everyone.

So, it is impossible to get rid of anxiety completely, you can reduce it to such a level that normal functioning in society is possible. And then - it's up to you. The ability to get along with anxiety directly depends on what actions you take to do this. Not thinking about it, but acting.

For example, if I am anxious to be around people (this is the case if anxiety is reduced to a normal level to withstand social contacts), then I just go into society and research what exactly worries me. I have the opportunity to see how others react to me, what feelings it evokes in me. I just go and do actions that help me study myself and my behavior in a given situation. This gives me the opportunity to understand what mechanisms of organizing and interrupting contact I use and which I should learn to manage. This opportunity arises for me when I live this or that situation, and not when I fantasize about it. This is how the learning process takes place.

Of course, this is not an easy task, and on the way to its realization you will be pursued by all kinds of resistances. They will play the role of a tempting snake and scare you with scary stories. Their function is clear - they want to keep the existing system intact, since change is stress and the body resists stress. The body wants to be at a point of calm.

But stress, in this particular case, is development. Development is always stressful, change is always unpleasant. This is a kind of rebirth, thanks to which the caterpillar turns into a butterfly. Therefore, changes are necessary in order to grow and develop. So, make a decision: either change what you don't like, or stay where you are now. And there, and there you will be haunted by anxiety. But in one case, the chances that she will become less, that how you change and find a way to make friends with her, are many, and in the other case - no. The choice is yours.