2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
According to statistics, every person experiences a crisis at some point. Also, people's lives are accompanied by stress and traumatic events. From breaking up a relationship, to the death of a loved one. And the reactions to such incidents are different.
Someone imitates calmness and stability, proving to everyone around that "I am a tough nut to crack." But he will face the consequences of this “forgery” in the future. And it can be anything from illness to nervous breakdowns. Someone goes into alcoholism, anesthetizing themselves from pain. Someone plunges into their feelings and gives them a place to be.
When such events appear in the lives of some people, and they cannot cope with them, they first of all go to the fortuneteller. Or "grandma", shaman, etc. Desiring to receive, mainly, consolation. That everything will work out, the beloved will return, the deceased is good there, success awaits in the future and much more.
However, as for me, at this time people are trying to avoid responsibility for their lives. They put it at the disposal of a person who supposedly has super powers. In the hope that he will improve their life, using the power that he possesses.
But when nothing happens, this “superman” can be asked where the promised happiness is, having previously devalued his talents. Or practice self-deception, convincing yourself that the prophecies come true, a loved one will change his mind and return, and everything is in order with the deceased.
If you take these three points in question and examine them more closely, you can see where and for what responsibility for your life is handed over to another person.
When there was a break or the end of the relationship, then all that remains is to sum up and mourn what has already ended. Not accepting this fact, I can turn to the fortuneteller to fix everything. Because he himself is not able to. But the question is - do I want her to start repairing my relationship and they renewed?
The relationship ended, for some reason that was created by me and the partner. I took a direct part in this, but I propose to correct it, to someone else. Pretending to be a "poor thing" upon whom the fate of fate has fallen. And the funny thing is, I don't need it to get the relationship back on track.
To suffer - yes! Blame someone - yes! And to work hard to restore relations and reconsider what I and my partner did in order for them to end, this is no longer! Let the fortune-teller try, it's not so important to me.
Other. For some people, it is important to know that a loved one who has died is still alive. Death is an irreversible event. There is a lot of grief, sadness, powerlessness and despair in it. And of course I want to believe that a person who has left this world is alive, only in another dimension.
It all looks like I'm worried about the deceased, but in fact about myself. I do not want to deal with the fact that I am mortal - it's scary. In his death, I came close to understanding my finitude.
Trying to convince myself that there is life after death, I turn to the "superman." He will help me in self-deception, demonstrating his communication with the world of souls. And I will try to assure myself that (with the help of the "medium") that the afterlife exists.
However, I completely lose sight of the fact that this is the only life given to me. That there is no other chance to live it. And I will continue to live as if in the next reincarnations I will make up for everything. Anxiety is reduced. There is only one "but" - immortality, thus, cannot be acquired. His - NO!
And what is important to do now - do it. There won't be another time. This place is your responsibility for what will happen in the future.
This is a difficult topic, I accept the truth of the experiences and the pain of the loss of a loved one. Only to go through such a stage in your life, it is advisable to contact a psychologist.
Third. There are people who visit fortune tellers in order to find out what awaits them in the future. What success will befall them. As if they lack confidence in their own actions to sustain themselves. There must be someone who will correct, correct. Entrusting their achievements to a person who seems to know what will happen and how to act.
One gets the impression that an adult is becoming a child in need of parental advice. Maybe he, thereby, makes up for the deficit in support from their side? Or reproducing a scenario that has been developed over the years, shifting responsibility for what happens in the future? Or something third, fourth …?
Here is not listed the entire range of services that people go to the "superman". But I understand that this way is easier. A person invests less time and energy. Responsibility is given to the one who promised success in business and love, guaranteed immortality. Well, now let him try and work, and the customer will wait for the result.
Further, a person with special zeal will control so that nothing changes. After all, it was for this that he came to the "superman" so that everything remained as before. What can change in life if he does nothing for this? In addition, she goes to the fortune-teller and checks how she keeps everything in the same form.
In conclusion, I will add about psychotherapy, in which everything happens differently. You have to take part in it. Not only by telling a story, but also by creating a new one, spending your strength and resources, accompanied by a therapist.
And only in the psychologist's office I build relationships in a new way with a person, and not with otherworldly forces. I find my own, new resources, acquiring footholds, for which in the future there is no reason for me to pay. I format and create my own life. I feel proud of myself and of what I gave rise to.
From SW. gestalt therapist Dmitry Lenngren
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