2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Childhood - this is a period when a person is not aware of much, his main occupation is to absorb and absorb everything that happens. This is how the collection of life experience, the vision of character, the birth of personality begins. Each of us has our own ways of dealing with traumatic situations, let's call these ways protections … They are acquired in childhood, staying with us for life, and then we use them automatically. When we were small, our defenses helped us cope with psychologically difficult situations. Then the psyche, as it were, preserved these methods in the unconscious, marked "helped" and by default continues to use them in similar situations, even if the usual method does not help at all, or even exacerbates the situation.
By the way, absolutely everyone has psychological trauma. And even for those whose childhood, from the height of the past years, seems completely cloudless, and whose parents are ideal.
Why do we use our childhood patterns * throughout our lives?
It's like with the alphabet: each of us learned it in the first grade and then throughout his life uses it for reading and writing, doing everything automatically … not otherwise. Each of us has learned this information for life. And if a person decides to learn another language, then it will take a long time and painstakingly, memorizing new rules, sounds, symbols depicting one or another sound. But the old familiar accent with a person will remain for a very long time and he will remember his native alphabet for a long time (or even his whole life), even with the constant practice of a new language. It is important that now such a person has a choice of which language to use in which situation.
A similar skill is acquired by a person in interaction with a psychologist.
The client asks for help at the moment when his usual picture of life fails. For a long time and painstakingly, he, together with a psychologist, can discover the patterns * of behavior that are habitual and once helping him, but which do not work in the current reality. Discovers what they influence and how they provoke an undesirable result. Then the client has an opportunity to search for new ways of responding, new solutions, new forms of experiencing a particular situation. And then it’s a matter of technology - the repeated experience of a new experience allows you to master it over time and confidently use it in your life. First with the help of a psychologist and then myself … like a child who many times with a teacher and parents writes letters in a notebook, and then learns to do it on his own.
The old experience will not go anywhere, it will remain for life. As well as the old alphabet that will not be forgotten. But a person who knows several languages has a choice: which one to speak in each specific situation.
That is why turning to a psychologist is not a panacea. And not a list of ready-made solutions. This is getting the opportunity to have a choice, the master of which you yourself become.
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Pattern - (eng. pattern) in psychology, it is a repeating pattern, pattern, scheme, model of behavior.
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