2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Many do not hesitate to live as their mother said: “Don't stick your head out, be quiet, it would be better not to open your mouth, be like everyone else,” make decisions, make choices based on mom's approval, her advice and worldview. Be obedient, comfortable, perfect and right for mom; to subordinate his desires and aspirations to his mother's picture of the world, to break his inner world, he is ashamed of himself and live in constant guilt that he did not please again. There is nothing wrong with that. These states are called fusion and emotional codependency. A huge number of people live in them. And being with everyone and being like everyone else is much calmer than becoming yourself. The fear of being different, the fear of embarking on one's own path, is irresistible for many. And there is nothing wrong with that either.
So it's not time yet.
The time of growing up and personal growth does not happen in every destiny. Growing up requires strength, courage and courage. And also anger, a lot of anger.
Anger that I still please others and not myself. Anger that I still choose others, not myself.
Anger can move a person off the ground, push him out of the comfort zone, break away from the “mother’s skirt”.
Growing up, the hardest life crisis. A person is left alone with his path and with himself. There is no more mother who will cover or hide, laugh or devalue. Will show love or hurt. That is, what will stop you, and you will choose your comfort zone again - to swim in "mother's love" or to suffer and drown in claims to your mother.
Growing up is to betray my mother's "rules of life", her picture of the world, her beliefs. It's like betraying mom herself, and you know everything about her fate and her pain, about her unfulfilled and unfulfilled. You cannot leave her alone with all this. After all, you do not believe that your mother is already an adult and she is able to cope with everything herself. She gave birth to you and withstood her fate.
But it is unbearable for someone who is devoted to “mother’s world” to realize that mother is able to withstand everything. And even your growing up. And even your separation. Because it has its own rules and its own picture of the world. She has what you do not have.
And while you are merging with your mother, your life will pass you by, your interests will be neglected, because you are the first one who depreciates them and pushes them into the far corner.
While you are afraid to have your own beliefs and rules, your life will pass you by, because you are the first one who destroys your inner world and betrays yourself, betrays your tasks and what you were really born for.
Choosing yourself, your interests, your life and rules is to go a new and unknown path. It can be scary and painful. But after all, when you were born, you passed this path of separation from your mother. To do something important and valuable for yourself, you already have such an experience, the first step to growing up has been passed, you can stop at it. And you can go further - to your tasks, your interests and to your life.
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