3 Steps To Living Your Life Consciously

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Remember, a little earlier we talked about what cunning ways our psyche is forced to look for in order to survive in reality? We discussed this in Avoiding Living: 5 Ways to Do, Not Be. Let me remind you that we usually run away from life into work, spontaneous relationships, the same spontaneous self-development, or into the rationalization of experiences. After this article, I received quite a few letters with your responses, where you asked me to write about how you can still be in this world.

In this note, I invite you to get acquainted with the ways that I propose to walk together with my clients. Each of them leads to the fact that you become able to influence your life and form an owl reality, and not adapt to everything and everyone. There is no esotericism here. Each of us has tools, but throughout our lives we gradually learn NOT to use them. Let's learn again and have new experiences!

To begin with, it is possible for everyone to walk the path to awareness. There is no such mentally healthy person who would not master these 3 steps and would not be able to introduce them into his life on an ongoing basis. Sometimes I manage to do it myself, sometimes specialists help. Try to start:-)

1. CONTACT WITH REALITY

It actually sounds simple and obvious, really. I can even assume that you will ask in disbelief - "And where do you think I am ???". But let's stop and think. Where are your thoughts most of your non-tasking time? Usually they are in fantasies, and if you were hooked by the previous article, then fantasies are not that very pleasant. These are thoughts about how “I could have done it differently, say it differently, go in the wrong place,” or that “I will pull this strap forever,” or what happened in the morning. The moment your thoughts are not connected with what is happening here and now - you are not in contact with reality, you are in contact with fantasies.

Digesting fantasies, analyzing them in detail, analyzing and working out the emotions associated with them is a very effective and important activity that brings a solution. But only when accompanied by a specialist who spent hours learning the techniques of working with fantasy. If you cook in them and try to understand them yourself, at the exit you will feel exhausted, angry, sad.

What can you do? It is in your power to teach yourself to contact reality. Someone once said: "When wiping a cup - think about a cup". Try to catch yourself leaving fantasy and bringing you back to reality - try to focus on something here and now. For a start, it could be something from the environment. For example, the temperature of the air, the smell and taste of your coffee. Such awareness helps to draw resources from the moment. And it is endless. A little later (and it is better all the same with a specialist), start going to your senses. In bodily sensations. See how cool it actually works.

2. RETURN TO YOUR NEEDS

Go ahead. More often than not, running away from living we feel tired, dissatisfied. Why is this happening? The reason is simple - by running away from awareness, we block contact with our true needs. Sometimes their awareness is painful. Sometimes it's joy. But from the fact that we ignore them, anxiety will not go away because the need ALREADY exists. I wrote a lot about what you can do with your needs in the article "Needs: How to Distinguish Yours from Others". Start by meeting the most basic and vital needs:

• food when you want to eat and exactly the food that is needed at the moment;
• liquid when you are thirsty in the same way;
• rest when you start to get tired and until you feel energized;
• sleep exactly at the time when you want to sleep and until you want to wake up;
• communication with those people that you need and at the time when you want it;
• sexual release with the right person and at the right time.

Of course, the modern world dictates its own conditions and meeting these needs, in a timely manner and all, is simply unrealistic at times. But you can choose one at a time at the right moment and it will already be more than what is happening now.:-)

How to do it? For this step, it is important to become engaged to contact with your body, you need to hear its sensations and then you will easily find its needs. You can start by stopping right at this moment, closing your eyes and focusing on your taste buds. What sensations does your language want right now? Sweet, sour, salty? Have you caught? This is it - you have discovered your first need.

With deeper needs (I mean psychological) things are more complicated and here you really need the help of a psychologist. Because the dissatisfaction of the need brought you to reading this article, which means that it lies deep and you are not aware of it. You may not even guess about it. For this part, you can safely come to me, we'll figure it out:-).

3. BEFORE YOU DO SELF DEVELOPMENT, DO YOUR SELF RESEARCH

The problem with developing people is that they take self-development as the first step. And this is wrong. To develop something, you first need to understand it, create it and cleanse it from the "husk". Otherwise, you come to the training and intensively develop attitudes, prohibitions, scenarios (about them here) and it becomes even worse for you. Well, for example, developing leadership with low self-esteem and the trauma of violence is breaking your psyche completely.

Self-development is not even the second step to changing your life. This is already the third. I usually offer my clients a three-step program:

1. Self-exploration - it is personality diagnostics, analysis, separation of one's personal from "educated" and "learned". From this we choose first the superfluous and heavy, and then the useful and requiring development.
2. Elaboration through counseling or therapy. When we have found that is superfluous and heavy, we need to get rid of it or transform it into something useful. Contrary to the promises of many, it is impossible to eliminate what was formed over the years and in every possible way reinforced in one day. This is self-deception. But the goal itself is real. And in order to achieve it, you need to work systematically and in a planned way. Psychological consultations here help to find reality and ways to find in it. Psychotherapy helps to work through past experiences.
3. Self-development … This is the third stage - when you know yourself well, have agreed with your inner critic and are in contact with your inner Children. In other words - body, feelings and needs. There are a lot of options. You may well develop yourself or go to training. You no longer fall into your injuries and are able to choose what is useful for you. If you have not passed the first two stages, you will swallow everything in a row, not noticing that, in fact, you are confirming your scenario. Remember - to get out of your comfort zone, you must first go into it.:-).

Therefore, start with knowing yourself here and now, and only then develop in any direction.

That's actually all that will help you live your life consciously. Imagine right now how your life could change if you go through these three steps. I understand that this path can be very difficult, but I believe in your ability to walk it. And if you want my support and help, I will always be glad to be there:-)

If you were interested and understood - do a good deed, share the article:-)