2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If you often have to face attacks from others, devaluation, deserve approval, if you feel disregard for your needs on the part of others, manipulation, if you yourself are offended and think that the world is unfair, if you do not have enough determination in everyday affairs, you are haunted by constant doubts, anxiety, it is difficult to defend personal boundaries, then you need to work on the assertiveness of your behavior.
The principle of assertive behavior says: "I do not exist in order to meet your expectations, you do not exist in order to meet my expectations …".
If we talk directly about the term "assertiveness", then it comes from the English "assert" - to insist on one's own, to defend one's rights.
However, you can insist and defend in different ways: you can aggressively, with the help of an attack, you can use cunning, manipulation. Neither one nor the other applies to assertive behavior.
Assertive behavior involves respect for your own boundaries and respect for the boundaries of others.
In the process of working with clients on the topic of defending personal boundaries, sometimes I encounter resistance. Resistance arises from the belief that being aggressive is bad. In order to neutralize this attitude, I encourage the client to learn to distinguish aggressive responses from assertive ones.
The top of the skill is to define your boundaries and not drop your dignity with abuse, insults, affective outbursts.
Assertive behavior implies the ability to have a constructive dialogue, to find the best solution, if possible.
For all its benefits, assertive behavior is also a great way not to build up tension and negative emotions, but to respond to them.
In addition to external reactions, it is necessary to increase self-esteem, a sense of inner independence, self-sufficiency.
In my practice, the formation of assertive behavior takes place in 5 stages
First stage - training in the skills of identifying maladaptive attitudes, recognizing their emotions and needs. Second phase - diagnostic, determining the styles (coping) of your thinking and behavior, researching the mechanisms of your psychological defenses, coping methods, types and level of victimization, the threshold of frustration tolerance (sensitivity to stress). Stage three - training in the skills of recognizing manipulative influences, modeling stressful situations and your adaptive behavior in them, the formation of an adaptive response in your everyday reality. Fourth stage - work on defining one's own identity ("Who am I?"), increasing self-esteem. Fifth stage - summarizing.
Recommended:
Watch Out, Psychopath! Or How To Protect Yourself And Not Become A Victim
The pain won't last long if we don’t help her … Brian Andreas A psychopath is a sophisticated manipulator who consciously (or unconsciously) hurts others without suffering through reproaches of conscience or a sense of responsibility.
The Role Of The Victim In A Domestic Violence Scenario. Victim Behavior. "Call Of The Sacrifice"
Let's agree right away - responsibility for the violence lies with the perpetrator. This is personal responsibility. It cannot be shared with anyone. But in the scenario of domestic violence, both are involved: the "rapist" is the one who commits the violence and the "
How To Become Confident And Not Hesitate To Start A Conversation First?
“How to become self-confident and not be embarrassed or nervous to start a conversation first?” Confidence is a subjective thing. This is more our inner feeling. We all know the feeling when you are confident and know that everything will work out.
How To Get Out Of The Victim Position In Relationships With Parents
1 way - go through the fear of being disappointed in parents and find out the truth about them. There is only one truth about parents - they will never be the same as you fantasized about them. If parents are cold or rejecting, they will never be warm and supportive.
Why Doesn't Reading Books And Articles On Psychology Help You Become More Self-confident?
As I have already written many times, self-confidence is the basis on which everything else is built: relationships with other people, relationships in a couple, in a family, with children, professional activity, self-realization, etc. And of course, many who want to become more confident read psychological literature, watch videos from psychologists.
