The Ideal Woman Of Russia In The XXI Century. My Survey Destroyed All The Myths About The Ideal Woman From Gloss. Just Imagine What The Ideal Woman Means In The Opinion Of Men

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The ideal woman of Russia in the XXI century. My poll shattered all the myths about the ideal glossy woman. Unfortunately, there is no single image of an ideal woman: it is always adapted for a specific period in the history of a particular people, for that specific social model, social role that a particular woman plays or wants to play. However, there is always a temptation to create such a collective image, to construct it from separate characteristics!

Therefore, in 2010-2020. I conducted a survey of my clients at the most reproductive and family active age of 25-45, on the topic "What qualities make a woman ideal in the 21st century?"

In total, more than five thousand people were interviewed: 3000 women, 2000 men. They were offered a questionnaire in which, in a chaotic manner, fifty (50) of the most frequently appearing female qualities, personality characteristics, competencies, etc. were listed.

According to the conditions of the survey, it was necessary to select only ten (10) such traits, which, in the opinion of the respondent, correspond to their personal idea of an “ideal woman”. At the same time, rank them, starting from the most important (1) to the least important (10).

The general list of the proposed characteristics looked like this: 1. Charisma (bright personality, zest, knows how to present himself, fall in love with himself); 2. A wonderful housewife in everyday life; 3. Has encyclopedic knowledge; 4. Responsible mother; 5. Knows how to be friends; 6. Hard; 7. Takes care of himself / her body (well-groomed, beautiful, healthy, slim, athletic); 8. Sociable; 9. Positive (smile, humor); 10. Successful in career / business; 11. Cultural; 12. Sentimental; 13. Loves only her man (faithful); 14. Expert in his profession; 15. Stylish (fashionable wardrobe); 16. Talented culinary specialist; 17. speaks foreign languages; 18. Understanding (not scandalous, patient); 19. Constantly engaged in self-development; 20. Self-critical; 21. Kind, responsive; 22. The householder; 23. Has a good sense of taste; 24 Submissive 25. Bold; 26. Is able to provide himself financially / earn; 27. Can physically defend himself in conflict; 28. Sexy outwardly (seductive); 29. Sexual in bed (relaxed); 30. Cautious; 31. A good speaker; 32. Active and mobile; 33. Understands politics; 34. Is able to count money (economical); 35. Epatage; 36. Can defend his opinion, get his way; 37. Responsible; 38. Understands technology and gadgets; 39. An optimist for life; 40. Drives a car; 41. Has a commercial flair; 42. Support and stimulant for your man in everything; 43. Patriot; 44. Have an inclination towards design; 45 Brilliant analyst and logician; 46. A talented teacher; 47. Understands men (can control, manipulate); 48. Completely self-sufficient from men; 49. No bad habits (does not use tobacco, alcohol, drugs); 50. Easily adapts to any conditions."

As a result of the analysis of the respondents' answers, the following comparative table was compiled, consisting of two columns - "female" and "male". Which allowed me to compare male and female ideas about the "ideal woman of the XXI century." So:

"Ideal woman of the XXI century" in the opinion of women themselves "Ideal woman of the XXI century" in the opinion of men

Matching qualities 1, 5, 6, 9 Matching qualities 1, 4, 8, 9.

If you analyze the composition of the "female" and "male" columns, you can see that out of the fifty offered, 16 characteristics are highlighted. They can be roughly divided into three groups:

Group 1. "Characteristics of the ideal woman of the XXI century according to the unanimous opinion of women and men." There are four of them:

• - Responsible mother
• - Looks after yourself / your body (well-groomed, beautiful, healthy, slim, athletic)
• - Successful in career / business
• - A wonderful housewife in everyday life

Group 2. "Characteristics of the ideal woman of the XXI century, according to women." There are six of them:

• - Charisma (bright personality, zest, knows how to present himself, fall in love with himself)
• - Knows how to provide for himself / to earn
• - Can defend his opinion, achieve his goal
• - Understands men (can control, manipulate)
• - Stylish (trendy wardrobe)
• - An optimist in life

Group 2. "Characteristics of the ideal woman of the XXI century, according to men." There are six of them:

• - Who knows how to love (faithful)
• - Support and stimulant for your man in everything
• - Sexy in bed (relaxed)
• - Positive (smile, humor)
• - Understanding (not scandalous, patient)
• - No bad habits (does not use tobacco, alcohol, drugs)

The presence of four coincidences in the top for men and women makes it possible to raise four out of ten female characteristics up, and the concepts of "optimist" and "positive, smiling, with humor" can be combined in one paragraph. So we got the following collective list of 15 characteristics. So:

"Traits of an ideal woman in Russia in the XXI century":

• 1. Responsible mother (4)
• 2. Takes care of herself / her body (well-groomed, beautiful, healthy, slim, athletic) (7)
• 3. Successful in career / business (10)
• 4. A wonderful housewife in everyday life (2)
• 5. Charisma (bright personality, zest, knows how to present himself, fall in love with himself) (1)
• 6. Is able to provide for himself / herself / earn (26)
• 7. Can defend his opinion, achieve his goal (36)
• 8. Speaks in men (can control, manipulate) (47)
• 9. Stylish (fashionable wardrobe) (15)
• 10. Optimist in life, positive (smile, humor) (9; 39)
• 11. Who knows how to love her man (faithful) (13)
• 12. Support for your man in everything (42)
• 13 sexy in bed (relaxed) (29)
• 14. Understanding (not scandalous, patient) (18)
• 15. No bad habits (does not use tobacco, alcohol, drugs) (49)

In the poll list: 4; 7; 10; 2; one; 26; 36; 47; fifteen; nine; 39; 13; 42; 29; 18; 49.

In principle, one could stop at this, simply by recommending the girls to keep in mind this collective list for their own benchmark of success. And men should choose girls with similar characteristics as their wives. However, being a professional psychologist, I cannot help but notice a clear contradiction between the characteristics that women and men themselves endow the “ideal woman” with.

♦ Judge for yourself: If we take the general impression, then the image of an “ideal woman” described by women is “the image of a strong woman for herself and a child, without a man”. Of the ten points, "about men" only one - "understands men, knows how to manipulate them." It is unlikely that men will be delighted with this. Because, in fact, this is not for men, but against them. Not cooperation with men, but their exploitation. Everything else is just about a strong, self-sufficient and independent woman: "a well-groomed and stylish optimist, knows how to present herself, insist on her own, provide for herself, make a career, have a child and clean her home." In fact - about a single woman!

The image of the "ideal woman" described by men is "the image of a woman for a man, a child and himself." Of course, this is also an egoistic image, a bit exploitative, "for us men." In it, a woman "serves" a man: faithful only to him, she tries in bed, supports him in everything, understands everything and does not scandal. Also cleans the house and gives birth to children. “Taking care of yourself / your body” is equally addressed to both men and women. The only bonus for a woman is "successful in her career / business." Well, it is advisable not to drink or smoke!

♦ Undoubtedly, all this can be called male chauvinism and double male selfishness! As a psychologist, I don't argue at all! However, I draw your attention to the fact that men determine the characteristics of an ideal woman through communication with men, "men clearly want women to be with them, but women themselves tend to do without them!"

Men clearly want women to always be with them, but women themselves tend to do without men!

♦ That is, men see communication with women at least in love, bed and mutual assistance! They want the ideal woman to be not scandalous and understanding, hoping to ask for leave from her, like her own mother, hoping for leniency …

If all this is removed, only children and everyday life remain the common point between men and women. And since everyday life is especially closely connected with children, then, in fact, only children will bind. If reproductive technologies appear, when children can be carried in the created biological automata, men and women will simply become enemies to each other, not needing each other and competing for resources. Just like in the 1980s Polish comedy film The Last Amazons.

If we translate the results of this survey, then a powerful confrontation between women and men is obvious. The increasing statistics of divorce becomes clear. Because, there are obvious contradictions:

1. Men still want to see women "with them"; so that they support and stimulate them in everything, but at the same time they are not scandalous and patient. And they managed to make a career on their own and earn money so that it did not interfere with his wife being sexy, caring for herself, having children and doing everyday life. But not all women are determined to wait peacefully for years until their husbands swing, make a career themselves and start earning decent money! Plus, many women find it difficult to combine feats of labor and career intrigues with exemplary housekeeping.

2. Women in words, more and more tend to rely on themselves, and on the other hand, in fact they live with men. Making their own careers and irritating them by neglecting the requests of the husband. Or consumeristically becoming a kept woman, but at the same time, not respecting your man for the material goods and technical opportunities provided to them (education, career, business, informational opportunities, etc.), but openly manipulating him, at any cost forcing his own opinion.

It is logical that this is the source of numerous conflicts associated with male misunderstanding of women's needs, and women's misunderstanding of men's.

Now, the floor is to me as a family psychologist. What recommendations would I give to women so that they can become the ideal woman of the 21st century?

"Traits of an ideal woman in Russia in the XXI century":

• 1. Responsible mother (4)
• 2. Optimist in life, positive (smile, humor) (9; 39)
• 3. Charisma (bright personality, zest, knows how to present himself, fall in love with himself) (1)
• 4. Takes care of herself / her body (well-groomed, beautiful, healthy, slim, athletic) (7)
• 5. Successful in career / business (10)
• 6 sexy in bed (relaxed) (29)
• 7. A wonderful housewife in everyday life (2)
• 8. Speaks in men (can control, manipulate) (47)
• 9. Understanding (not scandalous, patient) (18)
• 10. Self-critical (20).

My logic is simple:

Motherhood is the backbone of a woman's life, so a woman should be a responsible mother.

Optimism, smiles, humor - this is guaranteed to please everyone around you, helping to achieve success both at work and in relationships with your man.

Charisma (ability to present oneself) thoughtfulness of the image - "three in one": helps to save money on fashionable clothes; helps to get away from the need to be sexy outwardly; helps to build correct communication with others.

Taking care of yourself / your body is a guarantee of working capacity, building personal relationships, caring for your child and husband, long life and high competitiveness with other women.

Successful in a career / business is the basis of self-esteem, personal development, independence from men.

Sexy in bed (liberated) is the basis for success in personal and family life. After all, it is not external sexuality that is important for men, but real sexuality, in fact. Which allows a wise woman to control a man through the bed.

A wonderful housewife in everyday life is a universal concept that is necessary for a woman herself, her children and a man.

He understands men (he can manage, manipulate them) - in order to choose the right partner for himself for life, to give birth to healthy, smart and successful children.

Understanding (not scandalous, patient) - restraint is an important tool for protecting a woman from herself both in society and, especially, in a relationship with a man. Protection from accidental breakdowns and stupidity, such as putting the husband out of the house, leaving her husband herself, empty threats of divorce, wishes for her husband to find a mistress, constant appeal to parents for help, etc. There will be understanding, there will be support for your man, although not in everything (you should not support blindly), but in the most important and useful for the family.

Self-criticism is the most important condition for the adequacy and competitiveness of a modern woman, when a woman does not revel in her “uniqueness and incomparability,” but regularly works on it.

You can see that I support the female rating by 70%, the male rating by 20% and I add it by myself by 10%. I am sure that this author's psychological cocktail from Andrey Zberovsky will be very useful to you))) And you will enter the "golden fund" of women of the XXI century, delighting not only yourself, your children, your husband and your parents, but also everyone around you))) Good luck to you in life and female self-realization! Being an incorrigible optimist, I am sure that you will succeed!

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