2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Most psychosomatic illnesses tell you in body language that something needs to be changed in your relationship with the world and in your attitude towards yourself. And often on the scales against psychosomatics money, marriage, work, children, family, relations with their parents rise up. All this is very scary to lose, and therefore any hint of change arouses the fear of loss. The psychosomatic patient is usually highly codependent. He will remain silent when it is necessary to say about the violated personal boundaries, he will not feel other people's personal boundaries and, in a childishly innocent way, will go to violate them. He endures resentment for a long time, fearing conflicts, then, at some point, unable to withstand the tension of patience, he will explode, say nasty things, and then he will be afraid of loss, fall into guilt or shame for his “ugly” behavior, go to apologize for fear of loss, guilt and shame, although, by and large, they must apologize to him. And this vicious circle is exhausting the nervous system.
Therefore, "it is better to be sick", which is illegal, a childish attempt to protect oneself from the threatening experiences of losing some kind of stability and all acquired "values" and even lousy, but certainty. And the fact that diseases - so there are clinics, doctors and pharmacies. In this case, the idea to go to a psychologist comes last, when already "the roof is leaking and the walls are crumbling."
After 10-15 years of psychosomatic disorders, the organs cannot withstand such a load and organic changes begin in them, which are not recognized by scientific medicine as psychosomatic and are subject to surgical and drug intervention. Doctors do not associate them with the psyche. But in vain. After all, changes in organs began long before organic changes.
We begin to run to doctors and treat symptoms, that is, the consequences, without looking into the deep causes of diseases that lie in our attitude towards ourselves and the world of people. The origins of all these problems may even lie in deep childhood, but who wants to look there? It's easier to cut off the organ and take a pill. But, in the end, we shorten our lives, not allowing us to understand our psyche and our traumas. It's easier to get sick. Yes, and there are always secondary benefits behind the disease: more love and attention received through pity, and in our society we have a special attitude towards sick people - "sick people can do what is unlawfully healthy." Indeed, illness becomes a person's character. Because the responsibility for the disease, after all, lies with the patient, and not with his close circle. (This does not apply to children. Sick children are a symptom of an unhealthy mental state of their parents. And the parent is responsible for a sick minor child). But an adult who was healthy, and then began to get sick, is responsible for this himself. And the formula “I'm sick because of you” is a signal of infantility.
It may sound harsh, but we ourselves choose to be sick or not to be sick. A choice made in an unconscious state does not absolve one from responsibility. The inner world of a person has its own inner jurisprudence, whose name is existentialism.
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