Gestalt Therapy Rules And Games

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Gestalt therapy techniques revolve largely around two sets of attitudes that we will call "rules" and "games." There are few rules, and usually they are presented and described in detail at the beginning. Games, on the other hand, are overwhelming and impossible to compile a complete list, as a skilled therapist can easily come up with new games from time to time.

To be completely fair, in relation to the spirit and essence of gestalt therapy, we need to clearly distinguish regulations and the orders of the commandment. The philosophy of rules is to provide us with effective means of combining thought with feeling. They are designed to help us dig out resistances, to maintain so-called awareness in order to facilitate the development process. They are not drawn up as a dogmatic list of what to do and what not; rather, they are offered in the form of experiments that the patient can perform. They will often provide significant shock value and thus demonstrate to the patient the numerous and sophisticated ways he uses to fully explore himself and his environment. When the purpose of the rules is fully accepted, they will be understood in their implicit sense, not literally. The "good boy", for example, completely unable to grasp the liberating purpose of the rules, often follows them with absurd precision, thus endowing them with his own bloodlessness rather than the vitality they are supposed to develop. In keeping with its roots in Gestalt psychology, the essence of Gestalt therapy is the angle from which the process of human life is perceived. Seen in this light, each individual complex, for example, our current rules and games, will be appreciated only in the usual sense - as a convenient tool for achieving our goals, but without sacred qualities.

REGULATIONS

The principle of the present. The principle of the present, the immediate moment, the content and structure of experience in the present is one of the most important, most meaningful and most elusive principles of gestalt therapy. Based on my personal experience [AL] at various times I was intrigued, angry, bewildered, inspired by the results of the seemingly simple idea of "being in the present." And what a wonderful experience it is to help others see in what many different ways they have prevented themselves from reaching a state of awareness.

In order to increase our awareness of the present, we maintain a conversation in the present tense. "What are you now aware of?", "What is happening to you now?", "What are you feeling now?" The phrase "How do you like now?" effective as a therapist's question to the patient. It would be wrong to say that there is nothing interesting in the historical material and the past tense. This material is very important when it relates to important topics of the present and the structure of the personality in the present. Be that as it may, her effective way of integrating past material into the person is to transfer it, as fully as possible, into the present. Thus, we avoid the calming, intellectualized walking around, but we try to resolutely get all the material directly. When a patient talks about the events of yesterday, last week, or year, we quickly direct him to stay there in his imagination and act out what is happening to him in terms of the present. We actively show the patient how easily he leaves the present. We find his need to involve absent people in dialogue, a nostalgic urge to reminisce, a tendency to be consumed by fears and hopes of the future. For most of us, the task of staying in the present is a difficult task that we can only do for a short period of time. This is a task that we are not used to and which we tend to resist. You and I. With this principle, we try to convey as accurately as possible the idea that real communication includes the addressee and recipient of the message. The patient often behaves as if his words were meant for an empty wall or thin air. When you ask him "Who are you saying this to?" he is forced to see his unwillingness to address the message directly and unequivocally to the addressee, to another.

Thus, the patient is often asked to state the name of the other - if necessary, at the beginning of each sentence. He is asked to be aware of the difference between "talking to a person" and "just talking." He is led to examine whether his voice and words really reach the other. Does he really touch the other with his words? How much does he want to touch others with his words? Can he begin to see that his avoidance of relationships with others, of establishing genuine contact with others, is also reflected in his voice and verbal behavior? If he makes superficial or incomplete contact, can he begin to understand his serious doubts that others really exist in the world for him; that he is really with people or feels lonely and abandoned?

Impersonal utterances and "I" utterances. This rule has to do with the semantics of responsibility and engagement. We are used to talking about our body, our actions and our behavior in a detached, impersonal manner. What do you feel in the eye? Flashing. What is your hand doing? Shivers. How do you feel in your throat? Choking What do you hear in your voice? Sobbing.

With the help of a simple and seemingly mechanical change from impersonal statements to “I” statements, we learn to better understand our behavior and take responsibility for it.

Instead of "Trembling" "I'm trembling." Instead of "Choking", "I'm choking." And taking one step forward instead of "I am suffocating" - "I am not letting myself breathe." Here we can immediately see a different degree of responsibility and inclusiveness that a person experiences.

Replacing it with me is a small example of Gestalt therapy play techniques. When the patient participates in this, it is much more likely that he will see himself as an active subject who does things himself, rather than a passive being with whom things somehow happen.

There are a number of such games. If the patient says, "I can't do this," the therapist will ask, "Can you say I won't do this?" If the patient agrees and uses this formulation, the therapist's next question will be "And what are you experiencing now?"

T: What do you hear in your voice? P: My voice sounds like a cry. T: Can you take responsibility for this by saying "I am crying"?

Other moves designed to take responsibility are the patient's replacement of verbs with nouns and the frequent use of the imperative mood in speech, as the most direct way of communication.

Using continuous awareness. The use of the so-called continuous awareness - "like" experience - is absolutely the basic technique of gestalt therapy. With this, we often achieve outstanding and impressive effects. Frequent return and trust in continuous awareness is one of the most significant technological innovations made in gestalt therapy. The method is pretty simple:

T: What are you now realizing? P: Now I am aware of the conversation with you. I see others in the room. I can see John fidgeting. I can feel the tension in my shoulders. I realize how angry I get when I say this. T: How do you feel angry? P: I can hear my voice trembling. My mouth went dry. I stammer. T: Are you aware of what is happening with your eyes? P: Yes, now I understand that I continue to look away - T: Can you take responsibility for this? P.: - that I am not looking at you. T: Can you become your eyes now? Continue to speak for them. P.: I am Mary's eyes. It's hard for me to watch without stopping. I begin to jump and move quickly around … Continuous awareness has many uses. Initially, however, it is an effective way to bring the individual to the basis of his experience and away from endless verbalizations, explanations and interpretations. Consciousness of bodily sensations, emotions and perceptions constitutes our most accurate - perhaps the only accurate - knowledge. Relying on information received in a state of mindfulness is the best method for realizing Perls' dictum that one must "lose the mind and come to feel." Using continuous awareness is the best way for the Gestalt therapist to lead the patient away from emphasizing the causes of the behavior (psychoanalytic interpretation) to what and how he does (empirical psychotherapy): P: I'm scared T: How do you feel this fear? P.: I cannot clearly see you … My hands are sweating …

When we help the patient to rely on his feelings ("turn to his feelings"), we also help him to share the external reality and the frightening monsters that he created in his fantasies:

P: I'm sure people will despise me for what I just said. T: Walk across the room and look at us closely. Tell me, what do you see, what your eyes, not your imagination, tell you? Q: (After some time of observation and study) Well, actually, people don't seem so rejecting! Some of you even look warm and friendly! T: How do you feel now? P: I am more relaxed now.

Don't gossip. As with many Gestalt therapy techniques, the no gossip rule is introduced in order to help feel and prevent avoidance of feelings. Gossip can be defined as talking about a person when they are present and the utterance can be addressed directly to them, for example, say the therapist is talking to Bill and Ann:

P.: (to therapist) The problem with Ann is that she picks at me all the time. T: You gossip; tell it to Ann. P: (turning to Ann) You always pick on me.

We often gossip about people when we cannot cope with the feelings they cause in us. The rule not to gossip is another gestalt therapy technique that promotes direct clash of feelings.

To ask questions. Gestalt therapy places quite a lot of emphasis on the patient's need to ask questions. The questioner obviously says, “Give me, tell me …” By listening carefully, you can make sure that the questioner does not really need information or that the question is not so important or that it expresses laziness or passivity on the part of the patient. The therapist may then say, "Change the question to a statement." The frequency with which the patient is able to do this proves the therapist is right

Real questions must be distinguished from feigned ones. The latter are asked to manipulate or flatter another, indicating that you see or do things in a certain way. On the other hand, questions in the form "How are you?" and "Do You Realize That …" provide real support.

GAMES

What is written here is a short description of a number of "games" used in Gestalt therapy. They are used by the therapist when the moment seems appropriate to the needs of the individual or group. Some games such as "I have a secret" or "I accept responsibility" are often used to warm up the band before a session.

It is certainly not a mistake that many gestalt therapy techniques are performed in a playful way. This is undoubtedly basic metacommunication from Perls's point of view, highlighting one of the many facets of his philosophy of personality functioning. The language of play (a game in itself) can be viewed as a commentary on all or nearly all social behavior. The point is not to stop playing games, as any form of social organization can be viewed as some form of play. So the point is to be aware of the games we play and be free to change unsatisfying games for satisfying ones. Applying this view to any relationship between two people (love, marriage, friendship), we will not look for a partner who does not play games, but we will look for someone whose games are suitable for us.

Dialogue games. In an attempt to achieve integrated functioning, the Gestalt therapist seeks what boundaries and parts are represented in his personality. In fact, which "part" is found depends on the paradigm of the therapist and his observation. One of the main boundaries that can be assumed between the so-called "top dog" and "bottom dog". "The dog on top", roughly speaking, is an analogue of the psychoanalytic superego. The "top dog" is responsible for morality, specializes in duties, and generally behaves in a guiding and judgmental manner. The "bottom dog" tends to be passively resisting, he comes up with excuses and reasons to put things off.

When this border is found, the patient is asked to reproduce the actual dialogue between these two parts. This game can be applied to any other significant components of the personality (aggression against passivity, "good guy" against the villain, masculinity against femininity, etc.). Sometimes dialogue can even be played out between parts of the body, for example, the right arm versus the left or the upper torso versus the lower one. Also, a dialogue can take place between the patient and some significant person, as if he were present, while the patient himself comes up with his answers, reacts to them, etc.

Making a circle … The therapist may feel that a particular topic or feeling expressed by the patient needs to be addressed by each group member separately. The patient may say, "I hate everyone in this room." Then the therapist will say, "Okay, let's make a circle. Tell this to each of us and add some other comment regarding your feelings for each person."

The "circles" game is, of course, infinitely flexible and should not be limited to verbal interaction. This can include touching, stroking, watching, intimidating, etc.

Unfinished business. The unfinished business is the therapeutic analogue of perceptual or cognitive unfinished action in gestalt psychology. When unfinished business (unfinished feelings) are discovered, the patient is asked to complete them. Obviously, each of us has an endless list of unfinished business in the field of interpersonal relationships, for example, with parents, siblings, friends. Perls argued that resentment was the most common unfinished business.

With each statement, we ask the patient to use the phrase: "… and I take responsibility for this." For example, "I am aware that I am moving my leg … and I take responsibility for that." "I have a very quiet voice … and I take responsibility for that." "Now I don't know what to say … and I take responsibility for not knowing." What at first glance seems like a mechanical, even stupid procedure, soon turns out to be endowed with meaning.

"I have a secret." This game allows you to explore feelings of guilt and shame. Each person remembers a carefully guarded personal secret. A person should not share the secret itself, but imagine (project) those feelings with which others could react to it. The next step for anyone can be bragging about what a terrible secret they have. The unconscious attitude to the secret as a jewel is now coming to light.

Playing projections. Much of what seems to be happening is just a projection. For example, a patient who says, “I cannot trust you,” may be asked to play the role of an untrustworthy person in order to explore his own inner conflict in this area. Another patient may blame the therapist: “You are not really interested in me. You just do it to make a living. He will be asked to act out such an attitude, after which, he must be asked if it can be so that this is a trait that he himself possesses.

Inversions … One of the ways the Gestalt therapist approaches certain symptoms and difficulties is to help the patient realize that apparent behavior usually represents an inversion of hidden or latent impulses. For this we use the inversion technique. For example, a patient complains of being overly shy. The therapist will ask him to play an exhibitionist. By taking this decisive step into an area filled with fear, he establishes contact with a part of himself that has been suppressed for a long time. Or the patient may want to work with their criticism sensitivity problem. He will be asked to play the role of someone who listens very carefully to everything that is said to him - especially criticism - without feeling the need to defend himself or attack in response. Or the patient may be shy and too nice; his therapist will ask him to play an unfriendly and sarcastic person.

Alternating contact and withdrawal. Following its interest in the integrity of the life process, in the phenomenon of figure and ground, Gestalt therapy emphasizes the polar nature of life. The ability to love is distorted by the inability to deal with anger. Rest is needed to restore energy. The hand is not open, but it is not closed either, but it is able to come to either state.

The natural tendency to withdraw from contact, which the patient will experience from time to time, is not associated with resistance that must be overcome, but is a natural reaction that must be respected. Therefore, when the patient wants to leave contact, he is asked to close his eyes and go into fantasies in any place or situation where he feels protected. He should describe the place or situation and the feelings associated with it. Soon he is asked to open his eyes and "return to the group." The work then continues and, as a rule, it provides new material from the patient who has just regained some of their energy through this withdrawal from contact. The Gestalt approach believes that we satisfy the need to leave contact in any situation where our attention or interest escapes, but we continue to be aware of exactly where our attention is going.

"Rehearsal". For Perls, much of our thought process is internal rehearsal and preparation for our familiar social roles. The stage fright experience simply illustrates our fear that we will not perform our roles well enough. The group therefore plays this game by sharing such rehearsals with each other, thus becoming more aware of the preparatory value in maintaining our social roles.

"Hyperbolization." This play is closely related to the principle of continuous awareness and gives us a different understanding of body language. There are many instances in which a patient's accidental action or gesture has proven to be an important message. However, gestures can be interrupted, implicit and incomplete - maybe a wave of the hand or a light blow to the leg. In this case, the patient is asked to repeat the gesture with exaggeration, thus making its hidden meaning more obvious. Sometimes the patient can be asked to develop movement into dance, to put more of his personality into self-expression.

A similar technique is used for purely verbal behavior and can be called Repetition game … The patient can talk about something important, but at the same time skip it or in some way show that he did not fully feel his influence. Then he should be asked to repeat it again - if necessary very many times - and, where necessary, louder, and where necessary quieter. Soon he will really hear himself, and not just formal words.

"May I help you to formulate" … By listening to or observing the patient, the therapist may conclude that a particular attitude or message is being implied. Then he may say, "Can I help you formulate? Tell this and see how significant it is. Tell this to a few people here." Then he offers his statement, and the patient checks his reaction to it. Usually the therapist does not simply interpret the patient's words. But, nevertheless, there is a strong element of interpretation in this, so that the therapist must make the experience his own through active participation in the work. The proposed statement contains a key sentence, the spontaneous development of an idea expressed by the patient.

Games used in counseling for married couples … We will only mention a few of the myriad of such games.

Partners turn to each other and say sentences starting with: "I'm offended at you for.."

The theme of resentment may then be followed by the theme of value, "What I value in you is this.."

Then the topic of irritation "I'm mad at you for what.."

Or the theme of approval "I'm glad that …"

Finally, there is more research topic.

Partners alternately describe each other with sentences starting "I see …"

Many times, this exploration process provided the opportunity to truly see each other for the first time. Since, according to Perls, the most difficult problem in marriage is that from falling in love with an image, and not with a person, we must learn to distinguish the image we have created from a person of flesh and blood.

And in conclusion, it is necessary to note one technique that does not apply to games or rules, but which can be added to them. It is an important gestalt therapy technique that symbolizes much of Perls' philosophy. It can be called the principle "Can you stay with these feelings?" This technique is used in those key moments when the patient touches a feeling, mood or train of thought that is unpleasant and difficult for him to cope with. We can say that he got to the place where he feels devastated, bewildered, frustrated or lacking in courage. The therapist says, "Can you stay with these feelings?"

This is almost always an important and frustrating moment for the patient. He touched on his experience of bitterness and is obviously looking forward to ending it, leaving that feeling behind. The therapist, however, deliberately asks him to stay with the mental pain that he is currently experiencing. The patient is asked to work through what and how in his feelings. "What kind of emotion are you experiencing?" "What are your perceptions, fantasies, expectations?" At such times, it is usually especially important to help the patient distinguish between what they have invented and what they are actually experiencing.

The "stay with it" technique perfectly illustrates Perls' assertion about the role of panic avoidance in neurotic behavior. From this point of view, it turns out that the neurotic avoids contact with unpleasant and dysphoric experiences. As a result, avoidance becomes permanent, phobic fear becomes habitual, and most of the experience is never adequately overcome.

It is interesting in this regard to recall the title of Perls's first book, Ego, Hunger and Aggression. The title was carefully chosen to convey the idea that we should take the same proactive attitude towards psychological and emotional experience as we do about healthy eating. When we eat, we bite off the food, then chew it thoroughly, grind it and moisten it. Then we swallow it, digest it, digest it and integrate it. In this way we make the food a part of ourselves.

Gestalt therapist - especially using the "stay with it" technique - helps the patient to undertake a simple "chewing" and careful assimilation of the emotional aspects of life, which until now have been unpleasant to the taste, which were difficult to swallow and impossible to digest. In this way, the patient gains more self-confidence and the ability to be independent and to cope with the inevitable frustration of life.

By Abraham Levitzky and Frederick Perls