[Sexual Assault] # 2. Mother's Betrayal

Video: [Sexual Assault] # 2. Mother's Betrayal

Video: [Sexual Assault] # 2. Mother's Betrayal
Video: Talking to Loved Ones About Sexual Assault | {THE AND} 2024, March
[Sexual Assault] # 2. Mother's Betrayal
[Sexual Assault] # 2. Mother's Betrayal
Anonim

I work with female victims of sexual assault and decided to start publishing a series of articles about my work with such requests.

Sexual abuse could occur at different ages: childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. There are similarities and differences in dealing with the consequences of sexual abuse at different ages. Speaking about sexual abuse in childhood, I would like to emphasize that I do not work with children, but work with adult women who were sexually abused in childhood: often by some of their relatives.

I know that there are men who have been sexually abused: in childhood or in adulthood, and most likely for them what I will write about will also be useful, however, I have no experience with such requests now. therefore, in my articles I will write specifically about clients.

Since there is a lot of material, I will post articles on the topic of sexual violence and my experience of working with its consequences regularly, at least once a week: therefore, if you would be interested to read my articles on this topic: subscribe to my channel and put like (so that I know that the article was useful and interesting to you)

This article is about the reaction of loved ones when a victim of violence talks about what happened to her. Most often, the victim tells the mother first, so she assumes that the mother will understand her better because she is also a woman.

And, unfortunately, I often come across a situation when the mother either did not believe her daughter and said something like: you invented everything.

In this case, when it comes to child abuse, the abuser is one of the close relatives of the family: uncle, stepfather, grandfather, brother, father, etc. For example, it can be the girl's uncle, with whom the mother often leaves her daughter and it is uncomfortable for her to change something and look for someone else with whom she can leave the girl, and even "quarrel" with her brother - so she decides not to believe the girl and continues to leave her with her brother - and the violence can take on a serial character.

Either my mother believed and filed an application with the police, however, after the rapist offered her some material benefits: equipment, furniture, etc., she took the application. In this case, the girl feels as if she was sold for "TV".

Or, if the daughter is already an adult, she begins to blame her for the fact that she herself is to blame for everything: there is nothing to hang around so late, and so on.

In this case, the victim, in addition to the trauma of the violence itself, receives a second trauma - the betrayal of the closest person - the mother: and often this trauma is no less painful than the trauma of the violence itself. And this trauma - the trauma of the mother's betrayal requires separate work and often heightens the feeling of guilt that I talked about in the first article, so I often start working with it before working with the trauma of the violence itself.

If the mother believed and submitted an application and did not take it away, then even in this case, close people often think about how to punish the rapist, and not about how to help the victim of violence. Since this situation causes a lot of anger in them - they are looking for an outlet for this anger - and punishing the rapist with a "socially acceptable" outlet for this anger.

In the previous paragraph, I by no means urge you not to punish the rapist - no, in no case, but besides this, it is also necessary to help the daughter - the victim of violence - and in this case it would be better to contact a specialist. And even if there is no financial opportunity to apply for paid help, there are free services, in Moscow, for example, there is a free psychological service to help the population.

Many victims of violence begin to share their stories with loved ones, such as men or parents - years have passed since the moment of violence. And in this case, too, the best help would be to give support, hug, and help turn to a specialist.

Recommended: