2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Surely many are familiar with the saying that the king is played by the retinue. Indeed, in many respects, our views on life, statements and judgments, actions and decisions are influenced by those people who make up our environment. And if in childhood such people were significant adults or parents, then, having matured, people tend to expand the circle of people whose opinion is important and meaningful to them.
We all live among people, and naturally these people influence us. But the question is how they influence, and what gives or takes away such influence from us. Moreover, people can talk a lot about what communication gives us, but not about what takes away. Somehow it is not customary to talk about it. But in vain. Indeed, in fact, in many respects it is our environment, or rather our choice of our environment, that makes our life better or worse.
Quite often it happens that it is the environment that is most resistant to a person changing for the better. There are many examples of this. I wanted to change my job and field of activity, because I was already sick of routine work, but my friends dissuaded me, explained that now was not the right time. She wanted to leave her husband, a psychopath and an infantile, her friend advised me against, scaring that she would be left alone. People listen to this kind of advice and follow them, because they are used to the fact that loved ones will not wish bad things.
But at the same time they forget about one very important feature of the human personality, we are all individuals. In other words, there is no more being in the world who has the same thoughts, feelings of experience as you do. And the instructions of others, albeit close people, can be considered no more than in a recommendatory manner.
Many friends and girlfriends openly tell you that you shouldn't change (you don't have to jump over your head), arguing that you can live like that. Do you know why these people do not want your life to change? Imagine if you have changed or changed and they have not. You have more opportunities, freedoms, happiness, but they do not. It's a shame. And yet, oddly enough, such people are very annoyed by someone else's happiness.
This inevitably causes conflict in the relationship, especially if your changes are qualitative, since you cease to be as comfortable as before. People have already got used to you, and then suddenly something has changed. There is more energy, I don't want to whine, there is no time to complain. With you like that, it’s uncomfortable now, it’s not possible to discuss and condemn someone, to pour out your negativity on you, you have no time, you want to live.
Who will like the fact that a person who previously could so mentally complain about the whole world and show his vulnerability, play the victim, changed overnight. Moreover, he begins to pull from the usual swamp. No, not everyone can do this. And therefore, reproaches, quarrels, misunderstanding, or rather unwillingness to understand, how much do not explain.
It is impossible to change another person from the outside, but it is quite possible to reduce communication with some people from your environment to a minimum, because often it is this communication that prevents you from starting to move towards your individual happiness.
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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