Is Virtual Love An Illusion?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

"Evenings for those who are over 30" - such an announcement was encountered very often 40 years ago. And it was a progressive proposal of that time for single people. It was believed that "if you are a little over 30 …." and you are lonely, then you need help building relationships. Now it looks a little naive amid the abundance of opportunities to meet. After all, we now have the Internet. Everything and everyone can be there! And those who are over 15 and those who are over 70 …. So what is it - a virtual relationship? Does virtual love really exist?

“We corresponded with him for six years. What letters they were! Each letter is like a confession! There is no minute in his life that I would not know about. I feel his soul, and this is the main thing. I am confident in him as in myself! " These are the words of a completely adult and self-sufficient woman for 30 years who drowned in a virtual relationship. To the question: "Why don't virtual relationships turn into real ones for so long?" The answer was very simple: “We tested each other. And now we are ready to spend the rest of our lives together. " Needless to say, what a cruel disappointment happened to this woman after a real meeting with her virtual chosen one. "It was him and not him at the same time!" - the shocked and sobered woman cried - “he spoke with the same words, but with a completely different intonation, smacking his lips and sniffing at the same time. He is not as tall and handsome as in the photo. It doesn't smell like the man of my dreams!"

What's the catch? Why did six years of testing each other let this Assol down?

A person perceives information about another person in different ways: vision, hearing, touch, smell and taste. Only in this case he gets a more complete picture of the desired object. People do not notice when and how all this is read by consciousness. They usually remember their appearance: clothes, hairstyle, facial expressions, sometimes the timbre of his voice, laughter and movement. But there is a so-called sixth sense, when all this together is combined, past experience, prevailing stereotypes and images of an ideal person for you are included. Perceptual distortions can sometimes occur. For example, an outwardly not very attractive person, speaks not so and smells unpleasant, moves funny, and you understand that this is your person and it is easy for you to be with him. And all the minuses immediately turn into pluses. That is, for the acceptance or rejection of a person, a whole puzzle must be formed from many small parts.

What's going on on the internet? You get to know a person, through a computer monitor you can use only part of your senses: sight and hearing. But consciousness needs a whole image, so the compensation mechanism is turned on. What is not in reality, your imagination will provide you. “I blinded him from what was” - the words from the popular song more than ever accurately reflect the process of forming the image of the virtual prince. Further, like a snowball, illusions and self-deception grow. Even if your communication takes place via Skype, it is impossible to imagine this person in 3D. How he moves, changes his voice, when he speaks on the phone, how he sleeps, is silent, walks …

So is all internet dating doomed to fail? - by no means. There are tons of real marriages whose relationships were born on the Internet. The axiom of online dating should be the understanding that the Internet is just a means of obtaining information. Dating sites are the same newspaper with ads in which you find suitable offers and circle them with the marker "interesting" or "cute". It would not even occur to you to correspond further through advertisements in the newspaper, you transfer the relationship to another real level. The meeting with the "newly made" friend should take place as soon as possible. So that your imagination does not have time to turn on and start working in a compensatory mode. An intermediate option is possible - a phone (if there was no Skype communication) This safe step will help you navigate, and whether it is worth meeting at all. Sometimes it takes three minutes of talking on the phone to hear the voice, the rate of speech, in order to understand that there are no intersection points with this person. So, the meeting took place! He is beautiful, tall and polite. Speech flows from him like a river! You are fascinated! But stop for a moment and ask yourself the question: "Why does an interesting and attractive man get to know each other in this way?" No matter how great the desire to believe in your happiness, be careful and always remember that fraud also flourishes on the Internet.

So, in order to find your love on the Internet, and not pain and disappointment for complete trust, I recommend that you follow simple rules:

• Always tell the truth about yourself and only use your photo. Then you don't have to make excuses when you meet that you are a little fuller, a little darker and generally older than in the photo.

• Keep your distance and do not give specific information about yourself: your address, place of work, names of close friends. This will provide you with “escape routes” in the event of fraud.

• Be polite and careful in your choice of words. A huge disadvantage of communicating by correspondence is the inability to hear a person's intonation. Sometimes it is very difficult to understand whether it was a question, a joke, a joke, or a serious confession, especially if your interlocutor does not follow the syntax rules.

• Be interested in a real person! Ask questions, ask for photos and not one, but several, you can with friends, at home, with a dog. Don't be fooled by excuses like "I'm not photogenic!" or "I have all the pictures on another computer." In this case, you can avoid such a phenomenon as "English businessman from Nigeria". When people pass themselves off as who they really are.

The Internet began to play a huge role in the life of almost every person. The most mysterious phenomenon generated by him is virtual love. There are many opinions, views, refutations, proofs, disputes, but one thing is clear - it exists! Your task is to take responsibility for its implementation and quality.

Be prudent and you will be lucky in love!