A Terrible Beast Of "indifference": How To Live With Him And Do We Need Him ?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Do not be afraid of your enemies - in the worst case, they can kill you. Do not be afraid of your friends - in the worst case, they can betray you. Fear the indifferent - they do not kill or betray, but only with their tacit consent does treason and murder exist on earth (Eberhard)

Indifference devastates and preserves, hurts and stimulates to return to reality, destroys and pushes to build other new relationships and much more. Indifference itself may not be filled with anything, but a lot is connected with it, it is almost impossible to treat it with indifference. Perhaps indifference will come later, but the very meeting with the indifference of another person excites different feelings.

To begin with, let us turn to the most general definition of the concept of "indifference". Indifference - the state of an indifferent person, indifferent, devoid of interest, passive attitude to the environment (Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov. DN Ushakov. 1935-1940). Indifference, a synonym for indifference, these terms will be used interchangeably here.

A terrible beast of indifference how to live with him and do we need him

I would like to consider indifference in the context of human relations, how to accept the indifference of another and your own. The worst thing: the indifference of a loved one. It becomes somehow very cold, lonely. Disappointment, despair, total loneliness, loss of faith in people can come, especially in the fact that you can build close relationships with them on trust and understanding. If a close, dear person looks at you indifferently, then maybe you really don't need anyone? How could indifference develop in such a close relationship? Indifference kills love. Not always of course, but it's definitely something that can destroy even the deepest real feeling. The point is not that this great feeling is self-deception, but that love, although strong, cannot live next to indifference.

Indifference is when you don't care where he (she) is, with whom, what kind of relationship they have, whether they have children, what a person does, how he feels when you look and feel nothing. When a loved one hurts us, we want to be indifferent in order to forget. But in order to forgive, one must also be alive and risk approaching one more time.

What does it mean to be indifferent to another person? Does indifference exist immediately in contact with a certain person or as a consequence of a relationship?

If we consider indifference as a character trait, there are people who are not sensitive, not empathic, think only of themselves, are still cynical and calculating, all this seemingly gives the impression of indifference, so it actually is. They really cannot be included in what is happening nearby, even in relationships that are meaningful to them. This is the structure of the personality traits of such people, on the way of each person such a person can meet. We will not judge them, because there are no ideal ones, and we do not have such a right.

It is also not difficult to calculate an indifferent colleague or boss. But there is a very subtle point here: does the work mix the personal and the professional. Coming to solve a business issue, but relying on the personal qualities and understanding of the boss, a person can hurt himself about his indifference when he cannot get into the situation and take into account the circumstances. Although in reality it can only be a question of professional boundaries and humanly the situation is far from indifferent and understandable to the pain in the heart. But work is work and professional boundaries are like on the border.

The indifference of a loved one, a person close to your heart, with whom you have passed many years together, to whom you trust the most intimate, whose words you believe, from whom you definitely do not expect betrayal, and in general, someone who is close to you as a person, you don’t know why. You can shout, swear, slam the door, hysteria, cry, be jealous, try to talk or, on the contrary, speak words of tenderness, love and recognition, frankly and honestly as never before, but the person does not care or it seems that he doesn’t care. In fact, here it is worth figuring out what it really is. This may be a lack of understanding of what is happening, tiredness from sorting out the relationship, hysterics and other ways to talk, the inability or even inability to withstand tension and conflicts, other psychological and personal processes that have nothing to do with the conflict, and a hundred more unknown reasons for another. But this may actually be indifference. In the first case, you can try to clarify the reasons for this behavior, at the right time or in place. This, of course, depends on the relationship between people, on the degree of intimacy and trust, on individual characteristics, on the family scenario and hundreds of other reasons unknown to others. But, if we are talking about the second option, for those who like to sort out and clarify the causes and consequences of indifference in this situation or relationship, you can look for the root of the problem. The question is, what to do with this knowledge further and whether it is possible (necessary) to change something. In my opinion, the most important question here is how the other person relates to the indifference of a loved one: getting hurt, jealous, worried, slams the door, hides in a bunker, still screams and tries to understand, cries, engages in another type of activity to distract himself, closes forever from abuser, so as not to get hurt again. The choice remains with the person what to do next, hurt each time about it or find reasons and other feelings in these relationships. If, apart from indifference, nothing else remained or was not, then there is also a choice: stay in this relationship or leave, move away. Leaving with the indifference of the other is sometimes easier than when there are feelings, it is better to think that the other is bad and you are not on your way, and disperse like ships at sea, it will hurt your heart, of course, but then let it go.

And what to do if a loved one suddenly grows cold? Sometimes, it's easy to understand and forgive, accept and let go. Although for indifference, a sea of other feelings can be hidden. And here indifference appears as a consequence of an unmet need. Indifference on the verge of despair can be devastating and never return to old feelings. Betrayal, treason can also lead to indifference. But sometimes there is a place for forgiveness: betrayal, betrayal, indifference can be healed by the great power of love and forgiveness. For indifference, you can hide strong feelings, walk around and not notice a person with whom you really want a warm and close relationship. Here the question remains open who will go for rapprochement and for what reasons people choose a mask of indifference. Someone is afraid of pain, or another pain, someone is insecure and will not be able to survive the refusal, choosing not to know about the true feelings of another person, someone is principled and comes up only once, someone is afraid that that person is his did not forgive and the initiative will worsen their already unstable relationship, and someone just expects that the other should come up on his own and there are no other options in his picture of the world. Everyone has their own reasons and again a question of personal choice.

What about your own indifference? When you look at a person who was once close and dear and you feel nothing. Sometimes the desire for intimacy and intimacy itself are confused, and the effort to build close, trusting relationships is spent too much or too much. Then, on the border of despair, you leave with your hands down, and then you look through time as at a stranger and think about what connected you all this time. It is important to make the right choice, but no one knows for sure which one is right, especially when pain and despair close your eyes and you don't feel anything else, although this is not indifference and not indifference at all. How to deal with your own indifference? Be honest with yourself and the other person. If you are really not attracted to a person who is close by any important parameters, it is important that he knows about it, at least it will be honest. And then the choice is his, how to treat it and for us, what we do with it.