2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Psychotherapy is not new for a long time, and in Russia, even in small towns, it has ceased to be something shameful or strange. Meeting with a psychologist is gradually becoming a common practice, as a matter of taking care of physical health. People of all ages and wealth are increasingly willing to spend their time and money on improving the quality of their lives through psychotherapy. However, therapy is not the only way you can improve your life, and it certainly isn't for everyone. In addition, there is a huge number of different methods and even more psychologists. Therefore, a person who first decided to come to psychotherapy is faced with an incredibly difficult task: without understanding psychology, among many methods and specialists, choose the one that suits him.
Psychotherapy works through special, so-called "client-therapy" relationships and special techniques, often based on these relationships. Precisely because the techniques of how therapy works are all about relationships, the personality of the therapist is so much more important than the method he uses. Therefore, there are special rules governing the client-therapist relationship that make the interactions between them, and therefore the therapy, safe and beneficial. Conversely, violation of these rules leads to a waste of the client's time and money, and often even to harm.
For psychotherapy to be beneficial, you need to find the right therapist. Here's a guide with a few ideas to help you do this:
1. My therapist is just my therapist
This means that the therapist must be a complete stranger. There will be no useful work with a husband, friend, relative, acquaintance or even a friend of the parent. The credibility and loyalty of such a "familiar" therapist will already be in doubt (even if the client is not very aware of it). The client will not be able to trust such a therapist completely, he will have to deceive either himself or the therapist, but neither one nor the other will bring any benefit. It is also impossible for one therapist to work simultaneously with several members of the family or close circle, for example, so that spouses, sisters, best friends have one personal therapist (with the exception of pair therapy, where the therapist works from the very beginning with both partners at once, and family therapy, when the therapist works with all family members at once. But these are special methods and technologies of work).
therefore take care of yourself and your loved ones, find yourself a therapist "on the side", someone who will not have personal relationships with any of your relatives and friends. A real professional in such situations will not take you to work, but in the modern world it is not always possible to know and track all connections, so it is better to double-check.
2. There can be only one therapist
Just as it is impossible to benefit from listening to two of even the most useful audio lectures at the same time, it is also impossible to benefit from working with two or more therapists at the same time (and the personal therapist, family therapist, and group therapist may or should be different people). The client-therapy relationship is a very special relationship. And it is due to this feature that all the useful work takes place. But all this feature is destroyed by the presence of another one of the same relationship. In this case, the client may not only lose the benefits of therapy for his money, but even get hurt.
therefore if you want to work with another therapist or don't want to work with the current one, that's okay. Do not burden yourself with problems where you should receive only benefit. Just talk it over with your current therapist, end the relationship well, and calmly go to benefit from the other.
3. Personal contact for personal therapy
Following the idea of the client's responsibility for their therapy, it is the client's responsibility to make an appointment with the therapist (unless the parents agree with the child psychologist about the therapy of their young child). First, it is more convenient. It is always easier to find the right time and discuss the details directly, without a "deaf phone". Secondly, let's be honest, if a person is not even able to make an appointment (verbally or in writing), then psychotherapy will not help him. After all, therapy is personal communication and a personal relationship with the therapist. Thirdly, if a person really wants to "write up for therapy" his loved one without his knowledge or with his tacit consent, then there are no guarantees that the loved one will come himself later. It should also not be forgotten that by making an appointment, the client can already provide the therapist with a lot of useful information, thus saving money for an additional appointment.
therefore do not cheat, insist, or force someone to do something. If you are not well, if something is not right, just make an appointment with a therapist yourself. If you find it difficult to sign up for an already chosen therapist, then maybe you don't like him and then just pick another one for yourself. And then, choose the method that suits you best - call, write, send a voice message, as it will be more convenient for you (all people are different, this is natural).
4. Knowledge is power
Now on the Internet you can find a lot of information, including about your future therapist. You should not go to a blind meeting, because you can watch videos with a specialist in advance, read his posts in social networks or articles. You can see what the therapist does in life and find reviews from former clients. In the 21st century, the Internet can save time, money and hassle from going to a therapist you don't like.
therefore do not hesitate to search the search engines or portals for the therapist's questionnaire. A video of him will give you an idea of his manner of speaking and holding. Articles - will help you understand his beliefs and approach to practice, and therefore to you. Look at his social networks, what the specialist posts on his pages and how he communicates there is a good example of his attitude towards people and clients.
5. Practice, practice and more practice
On the other hand, it is not always possible to predict what a particular client will feel with a particular therapist based on a photo, video or article on the Internet. Will it be comfortable in the office, will there be comfortable chairs, will the therapist's manner of speaking and keeping in personal contact be appropriate. Everything must be checked in practice.
Therefore, if after getting acquainted with the Internet information rejection did not occur, then allow yourself to try and check. You shouldn't be lucky to find your ideal therapist the first time (although it is quite possible). Don't be upset if you didn't like the therapist after the first meeting, just go to the next one on your list. It is better to spend time and money in search of the “right” suitable therapist, with whom it will be easy and comfortable to work, than to spend more time and money on therapy with a specialist with whom you feel bad and which will bring nothing but an aggravation of defensive reactions.
6. The cabinet is a safe model of the outside world
A therapist's office isn't just for drinking tea, cuddling with a teddy bear, or crying out loud (although this is very effective in itself). The therapist's office is a miniature world. But not just the world, but the Safe World. That is, a space that works like an ordinary world, but at the same time more benevolent, soft, warning, understandable, with known boundaries and laws. In such a space, you can notice the familiar and try the new, without defensiveness and without fear of getting hit in return. The environment doesn't just influence, it helps or hinders the ability to open up and work in therapy.
therefore do not hesitate to look not only for the personality of the therapist that suits you, but also for the office space in which you feel good. The location and decoration of the office is no less important than the specialist himself. Do not be afraid to ask permission to change the arrangement of objects or chairs in the office for yourself. Psychotherapy is not easy anyway, let it be comfortable for you to do it. If you work via video communication (for example, Skype), then be sure to make sure that you are alone in the room, so that no one can hear or interrupt you, so that the picture is large enough (the phone will definitely not give a sense of presence) so that the technician worked well and the connection was constant and of good quality. Prepare a blanket, handkerchiefs and hot tea if you like. The less the difference in work via the Internet from a face-to-face meeting, the more effective it will be.
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