Who Is A Narcissist? Have You Met With Him Or Do You Live With Them?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In counseling, I have listened to many women's stories about unhappy love. Remembering the most tragic love stories associated with a lack of understanding between partners, manipulation and even psychological sadism, I understand that almost any of them leads us to the topic of narcissism.

Who is a narcissist? Have you met with him or do you live with them?

Since daffodils tend to be smart, your Prince will quickly explore you and show you the sides you like best. He will bring you your favorite flowers or the right cakes (which triggers the strongest reaction in you). If you love theater, he will buy a ticket just where you dreamed of going. If you prefer a walk in the park, for a while he will agree to this too: just walk. He will learn your language. He will learn to joke in a way that makes you funny and listen in a way that makes you believe that he is truly moved by the story. You will be happy for a while, you can see an example of such a narcissist in the movie "My King".

The narcissist may or may not be the most resourceful lover you have ever met. Depends on what area of life is chosen for self-affirmation. Recognizing a narcissist in bed is usually easy: you never get to meet him emotionally. Every time he is not up to you: he ponders how wonderful he is.

The dreadful feeling of inner emptiness the narcissist knows how to push back in only one way - by getting admiration. The irony is that no matter how much admiration, it is always not enough, because the emptiness inside cannot be repaired from the outside.

Since the narcissist is incapable of intimacy, the "love" relationship quickly becomes tiresome. And since admitting that he is not capable of intimacy, he cannot, it is easier to appoint you in charge. Therefore, one day, instead of the Prince Charming, you will find a snarling creature nearby, offended in your face for the whole world. If it is not important for him to remain a gentleman, he will suddenly spit expressively into the grass on the side of the road or "accidentally" forget about the meeting. If he needs an image, he will very politely ask if you secretly smashed his favorite cup while he was in the shower. When you, laughing nervously, ask what has become of the best relationships in the world, the answer will sound like: "You don't like loud laughter." Laughter, of course, will get stuck in your throat, but as soon as you come to your senses, it turns out that, say, you need to pump up your lower abs, change the frame of your glasses, read a textbook on logic and improve your memory, because he tells you about the frame the second time, but about logic the fifth … Anyway, you will find out that you are not the woman he needs because his great goals do not match your petty whims.

If you're still with him, things will get worse. Once you pump up your abs, it turns out that you are not nice enough to his friends. When you start smiling at his friends from ear to ear, it turns out that it would be better if you put off smiles until you visit the dentist. When you break off, you will hear that, judging by the style of your argumentation, you have not read the textbook on logic. And when, crying, you throw a plate at him, he will count it along with his favorite cup (which one of your predecessors broke in a similar situation).

If you don't love him, you will leave now. But if you didn't love him, would you read this? The bonus that awaits you at the end of the marathon is that you really will become better. After all, neither a textbook on logic, nor an extra visit to the dentist, nor a flat stomach will harm anyone. The penalty you pay for this is many times higher than the annual membership to an elite gym - the undermined self-confidence and feeling of inner emptiness that always go to those who dreamed of making the narcissist happy.

The tragedy of narcissism is as grand on the inside as it is invisible on the outside..

Peace, vaguely reminiscent of happiness, visits him for a moment, when he climbed the next step of the invisible staircase leading to the sky. The more stupid your loved one, the less he guesses that the reason for his acute melancholy and dissatisfaction with the world is in him. And the more aggressively he will improve you, as a part of this imperfect world. The smarter your Beautiful Flower, the more he will be concerned with himself, and not with the world and not with you. There won't be an hour-long daily lecture on self-improvement, but there won't be much more. He will never feel real warmth for you; he is not able to listen to you honestly if you feel bad and "your soul hurts"; he does not know how to regret and is not able to emotionally support. Simply put, there is no such person in a relationship with you.

"I have no idea what kind of woman I need. An unlucky and weak woman will make me angry with what parasitizes me. A successful and independent woman will cause me a feeling of envy and humiliation. I need a strong friend, whose success I will always belittle: otherwise I not to survive. And I am deeply disgusted with myself when I say this. " - This text was once uttered by one of my clients, not a narcissist at all: a narcissist is not capable of such honesty and courage. But each of them feels that way. So if you do decide to stay, support yourself with the narcissists choosing the best, which is why your Prince chose you. But if you think that this consciousness can warm instead of love, you are wrong.