2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Remember how disgusting it was to tears to eat every subsequent spoonful of the hated dish. “Better not to eat at all! And never sweet too! Let me be punished, but I will never eat it again! - you repeated to yourself. And at the same time, what a strong feeling of injustice and hopelessness, and most importantly, hate for food visited you. Now think about it. Do you want your children to experience the same feelings?
Catherine Borodina comments,
child psychologist consultant, specialist in sexual development and health
Food is a source of pleasure or …
Humanity lives according to the principle of pleasure. He came into this world to have fun. And everything that brings him pleasure pushes him to live and move even further. Double the dose of pleasure, so to speak.
So a person who loves to learn will find joy in gaining even greater knowledge. A person who loves to dance will strive to perform even more complex movements in order to get even more pleasure from the dance. Anyone who loves to make money will strive to save even more money.
What happens when we force a child to eat? The fact is that food is the most fundamental source of pleasure for a person, whatever his desires and aspirations or character traits. Any person is born adapted to enjoy food. For this reason, many people "seize" problems in order to get at least some pleasure.
Force feeding - kill the will to live
Now imagine that instead of enjoying, the person feels disgust. This is exactly what we achieve when we try to force-feed our children, forcing them to eat hated porridge, soup or something else. As a result, the child begins to treat food and the very act of enjoying life with distrust at best. Or simply resists.
How does this affect adulthood? We all believe that we want to get something out of this life: title, reputation, good earnings. But in reality, people who were force-fed in childhood do not know how to receive. It is forever imprinted in their subconscious that receiving is disgusting. The problem is that most people just don't realize it. People continue to assert that they want to achieve something in life … and subconsciously resist this receipt.
Force-feeding - loss of a sense of security and safety
Force-feeding is very traumatic for the psyche of any child. Every child from birth to six years old receives a sense of security and safety directly from the mother. And it is this feeling that is the basis for the correct and positive development of the child's psyche. From the age of six to puberty, the influence of the mother's condition on the child's condition progressively decreases.
First, the very fact that you are capable of forcing someone to do something suggests that you yourself are at least under stress. In a relaxed state, you would definitely find another way to feed your baby, instead of shoving food into his mouth. In addition, we, parents, are very often mistaken, believing that the child is deliberately playing on our nerves, and we are nervous about him. In fact, and as multiple studies prove and show with their results, the child's condition is a consequence of the condition of the mother, parent, and not its cause!
Secondly, the very act of force-feeding is immensely stressful for the baby. Think for yourself, how would you feel if someone came and stuffed a spoon in your mouth? Of course, the example is not the best. But this is precisely what provokes a reaction of tremendous indignation and protest. Both in you and in your child, regardless of his age.
An action is taken with the child against his will. Thus, the child loses a sense of security and safety, and then can affect his mental development. As a result, we receive psychological trauma, "anchors" and even memories that lie deep in the layers of the unconscious and imperceptibly change life.
Not to force, but to understand
It seems that such a simple thing is food, and what harm it can cause if you do not teach the child to treat it correctly. Because it is based on the principle of pleasure.
Material based on system-vector psychology
Recommended:
How You Eat Is How You Have Sex
How do most people have sex? - Very similar to how they eat. In most cases, a parallel can be drawn and it will reflect reality. Most often, a person eats to get enough, in order to stop eating. That is, you do something in order to complete it as soon as possible - to stop doing it.
If You Are Not Happy With How Your Child Is Not Doing Something As Well As You Would Like
- "Mom, look how I painted!" - “Well, what did you draw? What couldn't have done better? " Or this: - "Mom, look how I'm doing!" - "So what. You can do your best. " I didn't want to write about such a seemingly hackneyed topic as the topic of high expectations from a child.
I Will Not Force You. Where To Get Resources?
Periodically, at the forum and at consultations, the question of lack of strength, energy, if necessary, to work, to fulfill their duties to family members, arises. Where to get resources from? I bring to your attention a sketch. Morning.
About The Illusion Of Choice Or "What Do You Want To Become When You Grow Up?"
First, I want to tell you about one of my clients (with his consent). The guy recently graduated from medical university and now works as a dentist. The parents of this guy, however, grandmothers, grandfathers and a couple of generations, are also doctors of different profiles.
The Child Refuses To Eat. Should You Force Him To Eat?
The topic of the fact that very often parents force the child to eat worries me. Because I come across this a lot. This is very common in our society. Therefore, thanks to a member of our group for this important question. It sounded like this:
