How You Eat Is How You Have Sex

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How do most people have sex? - Very similar to how they eat. In most cases, a parallel can be drawn and it will reflect reality. Most often, a person eats to get enough, in order to stop eating. That is, you do something in order to complete it as soon as possible - to stop doing it. We eat to finally feel the freedom from appetite, to calm this thirst, filling the stomach with a feeling of heaviness and fullness, which we usually call the feeling of satiety

So up to a certain point it was with me. But while this was so, I did not see it and did not understand it - and I saw it only after, when everything changed.

Most people have sex in a similar way - in tension, in a tense striving forward and a permanent desire to relieve this tension, finally, feeling relief - orgasm.

Fuss, quick inattentive movements, haste - all these are clear signs that you are in completely unconscious tension and active unconscious striving.

The experience of my life and the experience of sex in my life suggests that such a look and such a habit completely kills the beauty in intimacy. So that a person in closeness turns into a mechanism that seeks to satisfy needs (it does not matter whether it is his own or that of a partner). And this satisfaction happens - unconsciously, without even realizing it - about the partner.

The desire to get to the finish line as soon as possible kills the opportunity to enjoy the process. The slightest presence of a goal or an image of the ending, the ending, takes away the present.

It may seem to you that you know how to enjoy the process, so be it, but if you can admit that there is something more unfamiliar to you, there will be many times more sense from the article. Therefore, what I put into the phrase "enjoyment of the process" from now on we will consider the desired McGuffin, and the direction of the pointer will be directed towards a qualitatively different phenomenon. Its key difference from the well-known "enjoyment of the process" is that even a tiny thrust forward is completely absent in it and, frankly, there is no very thing for which a person usually does this - lack of pleasure. There is something of a completely different quality, but what exactly - more on that later

Once in my life I have discovered this clearly. And this discovery was not related to sex. At one of the jobs on which I once worked, there were several completely unhappy people who with all their might tried to be the first, proving this, literally being ready to walk over their heads, just to be noticed and noted, singled out among others, receiving a medal along the way "The best". Only in this way they knew how to feel that everything was in order with them and that they were in their place - not accidental and not superfluous.

When I noticed this, I began to observe myself. After all, what was happening directly concerned me, because at that time, I myself did not know how to be not the first, or rather, the point was not in the pedestal or awards, but in justice - I wanted to be noticed on merit, it can be indirectly or implicitly, but fairly, not in vain.

And starting to carefully observe myself, my reactions, I noticed that praise and recognition may not intersect at all with the quality of how I do something. And if recognition, along with the finishing tape, begins to dominate in my interests, quality and my own enjoyment of this quality completely disappear from life. And then I instantly begin to need some additional proof of my importance and prizes.

So, I noticed: if there is a real quality in life, you cease to worry and care about any finish along with all possible prizes, awards and honors as a result.

Quality is the quality of our presence: how well, whole and totally we are present in what is right now. How much we give ourselves to this. How much we are able to immerse ourselves in one single moment, giving it all of ourselves without a trace - without hope for the next.

If it suddenly reveals itself like this, it turns out that this single moment is entirely enough. It opens up full-fledged, self-sufficient.

Time and duration disappear, goals disappear, as something realizing you, realizing you, the need for the possible, waiting ahead, and comparatively better, disappears. Only the current remains. And it remains unshakable - there is no more direction in it, but if you wish, you can go, just not from need, not for the sake of implementation, but just like that - why not ?!

The present opens as a single instant, completely complete, sufficient. And the weight of this moment turns out to be equal to the weight of all times and moments. It reveals itself in an incredible way - you see that in this single moment are hidden all the moments, all the events, everything that has happened and even the uncompleted.

And suddenly what a person calls pleasure disappears, ceases to be in any way significant and tasty. Something completely different appears, but I would not want to call it words, so as not to create a feeling of intellectual understanding, as if you understand what is at stake.

It makes sense only to discover and feel what is revealed, but certainly not to name it, explain or understand it.

As for sex - if you allow yourself to miss the craving for orgasm and this animal emotional passion, if you just allow yourself to let it go, do not be afraid. If you stop rushing, striving, if only you risk not sticking in pleasure, you will be able to open in proximity such facets of pleasure that it is impossible to write about in words. If your mind dares to surrender and surrender - from having sex, from having orgasms or helping to experience orgasms, from feeling pleasure - you will feel like sex itself, orgasm itself, the very presence without beginning or end. And it will not be some kind of orgasm that happens - it will be an orgasm of life itself - its center, its source.

And the most amazing thing in all this is that you will lose the craving for proximity to certain parts of the body, you will lose the peculiarity of some touches and penetrations, in comparison with any others.

And it is in no way possible to understand or describe it in such a way that it becomes clear. If it’s not familiar, it’s unfamiliar. Any understanding will be false.

For a person who seeks and craves sexual intimacy, extolling it, highlighting it, considering it to be its real and most intimate intimacy, it is in no way possible to find exactly the same intensity of intimacy and depth in much simpler but profound phenomena.

In simple touches, in the look or in the very existence of this person. The simple existence of this person.

As long as there is aspiration and somewhere in front of us there is a hope for a peak sensation, a peak experience, it is impossible to plunge headlong into and surrender to what is right now.