Claude Steiner. How To Raise Children To Be Independent: Ten Rules

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Claude Steiner wrote 9 books and the famous therapeutic children's fairy tale "The Tale of the Fuzzies". Claude Steiner's books have been translated into 11 languages of the world, and "Scenarios of People's Lives" has become a world bestseller. Claude Steiner is twice awarded the Eric Berne Prize for his 1971 Scenario Matrix and Stroke Saving Concept, 1980

1. Don't have a baby unless you're sure you can give him an eighteen-year guarantee of care and protection. Do your best to shorten the time your child is dependent on you by helping him become independent as early as possible.

2. The main goal of upbringing is to give the child the opportunity to fully demonstrate their abilities for intimacy, cognition and spontaneity. No other goal (discipline, good manners, self-control, etc.) can be put ahead of independence. It is permissible to strive for it, but only if it does not contradict the main goal - autonomy.

3. The capacity for intimacy is suppressed by the economy of stroking. Don't stop your child from expressing love or lack of love. Encourage him to give, ask, accept, and reject strokes and give strokes to himself.

4. Cognition is suppressed by ignorance. Don't ignore your child's logic, intuition, or feelings. Teach him to demand that his opinion be taken into account. Teach him to take into account the opinions of others. Respect the opinion of your child.

5. Never lie to children. Neither directly nor by silence. If you want to hide the truth from him, say so and honestly explain why.

6. Spontaneity is suppressed by "rules for using your body." Do not regulate how your child moves, or how he uses his sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste, unless, of course, his actions violate your rights or pose a risk to himself - but even then you must behave in a cooperative spirit. Remember that you are stronger. Don't push. Do not listen to the "experts" (teachers and doctors): they were wrong before and will always be wrong. Your child's body is sacred. Never encroach on him. If this happens, apologize immediately, but do not go to the rescue to get rid of the feeling of guilt. Take responsibility for your actions and don't repeat your mistakes.

7. Don't save your child or harass him. Do not do for your offspring what you don’t want to do. If it did happen, then don't chase him for it. Give your child the opportunity to take care of himself before “helping”.

8. Don't teach your child competitive behavior. Television teaches this enough. Better teach him to cooperate.

9. Don't let your children violate your rights. You have the right to your own time, space, privacy. Demand that your child respect these rights, and he will do so out of love for you.

10. Believe in human nature. Trust in your children. When they grow up, they will reward you with their love.