2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Cruelty is complete indifference to the needs and suffering of another person. At the same time, the offender does not allow the thought that his victim may be hurt, bad, sad, insulting. Cruelty is accompanied by insensitivity and indifference, emotional coldness. Often a child goes to aggression after suffering a trauma. Hides behind his cruelty his vulnerable, suffering I. He needs sympathy, pity and love. However, at the same time, he does not know how to show such feelings in relation to others, is not ready to recognize the importance of another person. There is a fantasy that with his cruelty, paradoxically, he can force him to love himself
1. Connivance
Blind parental love does not lead to good, because it does not allow the child to understand the boundaries of what is permitted - what is allowed and what is not. Such a person has the feeling that he is perfect, which means that absolutely everything is possible for him. For example, a mother ignores her child's attempts to bite her: she does not say that she is in pain. The child spits - she is silent again.
Adults give out an inadequate reaction: they laugh, pretend that nothing happened, and the baby has a feeling that everything is in order. He wanted to spit on his mother - he spat, he wanted to knock - he knocked. “Whipping people” appear around such a child.
In this case, we are talking about the lack of an adequate response and adult leadership.
The task of parents is to explain the rules to their child, because when he lives without them, he does not understand what is good and what is bad, since he proceeds only from his own needs.
Mom and Dad live with the idea that a child cannot do anything bad, he is practically a saint. Even if adults see that their "sun" and "blood" strangled the kitten, they explain this by the fact that he simply does not understand, but did not want to do anything bad to the animal.
At the same time, this situation is not discussed with the child. This is pure connivance and a blind excuse for cruelty. In fact, it is necessary to discuss the events that happened, they cannot be denied. Ask your son or daughter how he felt when he did this. What could the kitten feel? The task of an adult is to clarify the situation, to understand its true motives.
2. Overprotection and abuse
Another reason is child abuse. This can be physical punishment, psychological pressure, humiliation, all kinds of bullying. In addition, overprotectiveness can cause similar problems when a small person is not given the opportunity to prove himself. He must follow the rules imposed by adults. As a result, the child directs the accumulating aggression not at the parents (after all, this is impossible), but at those who are weaker than him.
3. Indifference
If the child in the family is not considered as a valuable and important person, he exists on his own. As a result, in order to prove to mom and dad that he is worth something, the child can be cruel, because as soon as something like this happens, everyone immediately begins to react to him. A person receives a lot of responses about his behavior, and then this model is consolidated, and he no longer realizes exactly how he achieved universal attention. The main thing is that he has achieved and he is great and recognized.
4. The idea of being chosen
As a rule, such sentiments reign in families, where they often talk about the idea of superiority: we are the chosen ones, which means we have the right, unlike others. It turns out that in the world there is me - perfect, beautiful, and there are other people who can be despised, and it's okay if I want to get rid of imperfect people who only do shit. I would like to note that with such a model of upbringing, those who fall into the category of despicable are not considered as people who feel or want something, they are just objects that spoil the picture of the world - they must be destroyed. And this is all for the sake of some idea.
5. Violence from the outside
It is very important what parents watch, read, discuss, because in this way the child understands what is normal in his family and what is not. Yes, you need to talk with your own child about aggression and cruelty, but at the same time you need to be aware of how he understands such serious conversations. Observe what your child is playing, listen to what he says while doing so. The fact is that in the game, children speak out their fantasies. If a daughter or son hangs up their dolls, punishes them - this is the first "bell" and a symptom that you are going in the wrong direction.
6. Rejection of society
When a child for some reason (overweight, weak children) does not fit into the team, he is often teased and humiliated. Such things generate anger, a person wants to destroy his offender. The situation can end very sadly when the child does not have adult support. Any loving parent will always see that something is happening to his child and he needs help. Listen to what your child has to say and do not discount or deny their problems.
7. Family atmosphere
It is important how parents communicate with each other and with other people, because by their behavior they teach the child to react to events. If dad or mom yells for any reason and does not see anything wrong with assault, then the child will react to difficulties in the same way. Something unpleasant has arisen - it means that you need to find the culprit, give him a head-on, and the issue will be resolved. In such families, adults by their behavior do not suggest looking for options, they offer to act without hesitation.
8. Aggressive environment
In any society there is a kind of dictate, an attitude that you must be successful. Sometimes abuse of someone makes a person feel like the coolest, and, naturally, the weaker one is used to “hit”. Often in school, one child offends another, and everyone else just looks at it and does nothing. What can such an observation lead to? Today your son or daughter tells how a certain Petya gave Vasya in the eye, and tomorrow a situation may well arise in which your own child will act in the same way. Therefore, it is very important to pay attention to what is happening with the child outside the home. If he tells you that classmates offend someone, listen carefully, talk to him about the situation, find out his attitude towards it and explain that such things are unacceptable.
Merkulova Svetlana Ravilievna
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