Our Children Are Our Actions

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Have you ever wondered how you will be raising your children?

Have you ever wondered why everyone wants to raise their children well, but despite the variety of methods and opinions, only a fifth of parents are more or less happy with their children.

Why is that? After all, every parent wants to see their children happy

But apparently:

- Not everyone understands what happiness is (for a child);

- Know how to achieve this;

- They know how to achieve it.

What is needed to accomplish the task (bringing up harmonious and happy children)? Our lifestyle and wisdom

According to psychology, human behavior is largely determined by the subconscious and, to a lesser extent, by consciousness.

What is the subconscious mind? In a nutshell, these are unconscious attitudes laid down in certain situations associated with periodicity, as well as emotional shock.

Most of the attitudes are laid down in childhood, a little less in adolescence, and least of all in a more mature age. In fact, a teenager is more suggestible than an older person, and a child is generally programmed directly.

Your present life depends on what was written in the subconscious in childhood.

After all, consciousness is fleeting and constantly changing, the subconscious is inert and very weakly amenable to change.

“Consciousness - I think, I think, I know. Subconscious - I feel, I feel”.

Consciousness is constantly changing in the process of exchange of information and own reflections. We read a book, watched a film, talked with a person, learned something new - changed their minds, clarified their opinions, etc.

The subconscious - as they were afraid of dogs at 20 (in childhood, a dog bitten very much), so are you afraid at 25, 30 and even at 40 years old.

Even if the established conscious attitudes (stereotypes) can still be changed with a certain presentation of information with the necessary arguments, then subconscious attitudes are usually not realized by a person, and as a result, they are practically indestructible.

Only in certain situations or through special work - subconscious attitudes are brought into consciousness and reprogrammed to others.

Unfortunately, mostly people hardly work on themselves. But in vain. After all, working on yourself is a direct connection with the present and future of your children.

What attitudes will be written into the subconscious of your children - this is what they will have for 60-70 percent of their lives.

Why about 60-70 percent? Because the parental environment affects the child so much. In addition to it, the environment of classmates, the environment of communication (close friends), etc.

Where the child spends more time, the more he programs.

How are attitudes entered into the subconscious of a child?

Across:

- Words of others;

- Behavior of others;

- Emotions and feelings that others show.

The influence on the formation of the subconscious attitude of the second and third points is approximately 80 percent, and 20 percent - the first.

In simpler terms: WHAT you SAY has the least impact on a person than WHAT you DO and what you FEEL while doing so.

Examples.

If you tell a child that eating a lot of sweets is harmful, but at the same time, with appetite and with pleasure, love to feast on a mountain of sweets - a stereotype may be written into the child's subconscious that sweets are not harmful - they bring pleasure.

If you once ate sweets with great pleasure, this will not settle in the child's subconscious.

But if such parental behavior in relation to sweets, together with bright positive emotions, was repeated hundreds of times, then in a child this form of behavior will pass from consciousness to subconsciousness. At the same time, your words about the harmfulness of sweets will be ignored.

The child will subconsciously WANT to eat candy. And the more the parents forbade it to do it (and they did it the other way around), the more the child will have a thirst for candy. Unconscious. Because it is firmly firmly recorded in the subconscious.

Another example.

You can give your child a bunch of lectures that smoking is harmful, but if you yourself constantly smoked, then the child's subconscious will write down the association that smoking is good, it is calming, it is pleasure.

Is everything written into the subconscious?

No, often repeated settings are written.

Everything that you often did was recorded in the child's subconscious.

Some of what was said to the child many times was also recorded in the subconscious.

Attitudes are strongest when all three forms of inscribing into the subconscious (words, actions, feelings) are intertwined.

These are situations when you say, do the same, and at the same time, in this situation, there is a strong emotional intensity.

Example.

If you tell your son that nature is good, grace, joy and at the same time you go out into nature, where you and your wife are happy, cheerful and gracious, then after these situations are repeated in the child, the word “nature” will become associated with emotions of joy and a feeling of grace …

Another example.

If a mother within 5 years tells her husband that he is a fool, it will fit into the daughter's subconsciousness.

And she will have a clear attitude: "the father is a fool."

The state of "you are a fool" will become associated with the words that mom said at the same time.

The same can be achieved in 1 month (inscribing into the subconscious) if the mother experienced vivid emotions (no matter which ones, no matter positive or negative). But it is with these forms of emotion that these specific words will be associated.

Later - in adult life, with the repetition of external environmental conditions similar to this - the daughter will act unconsciously in the same way as her mother did, while experiencing the same emotions. This is practically not controlled by consciousness, and the daughter herself can react so often, live her whole life with it, but still not realize why she acts and reacts this way in such situations.

Outcome:

IT'S NOT IMPORTANT WHAT YOU SAY

It is IMPORTANT what you DO and what you FEEL.

Now the answer is why many parenting practices fail in practice.

This is because the lion's share of these techniques is based on statements - i.e. on TALKS.

That is why we have what we have. What do we have? We have what we do and what we feel

It turns out that raising children is, first of all, raising oneself.

Since you live, this is how you program your children.

In principle, you may not even be zealous in moralizing, if you live happily - you have already laid the basis for 60-70 percent that your child will be happy too.

Unfortunately, few parents think about parenting as a change of themselves, and therefore the problems of parents are passed on to children.

If the mother was unhappy in family life, there is a 70 percent chance of daughters being unhappy as well. And this is despite the fact that outwardly, in behavior, etc. they may not be like the mother, or even radically different from her. Because the subconscious is imperceptible, but it is much stronger than consciousness, and it essentially determines human behavior.

This is the way of life that you lead - this is the way of life that you pass on to the children.

Do you want to see your children harmonious? Become harmonious yourself

Subconscious attitudes are poorly realized, it is difficult to change them, and therefore:

think about WHAT you program your children for - for happiness, joy, love, understanding, respect? Or anger, lapping, criticism, discontent, hatred, which is often characteristic of our modern families.

It doesn't matter what you say. How your family lives is important.

If you want to make your children happy - become happy yourself.

Our children are not our words. Our children are our actions.