How To Conquer Your Fear?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Two famous psychologist-psychotherapists Z. Freud and G. Kaplan, who study, including human fears, agreed on dividing fears into two groups.

In the first, there are fears that are designed to save a person's life, and in the second, those that are a sign of any violation and prevent a person from living a full life.

Z. Freud divided fears into real and neurotic.

G. Kaplan - on constructive and pathological.

Almost any of the fears can become a neurotic pathology or, in moderate real quantities, help to survive in a difficult situation, to become constructive.

Yes, and we must admit that we are all afraid of something. There are no absolutely fearless people and should not be. After all, fear carries in itself a rather noble mission - it saves us from something concrete. But it so happens that we are not aware and do not notice our fears. Something spoils our mood and quality of life, we do not understand what is wrong. I had a client, a young guy who didn’t go well with his job, he lived, lived, and did not even try to get a good job. He had at least two options. The first is to close your eyes to a sluggish life, find some explanation for yourself why he has no money and not an interesting low-profit job, and after a while fall into a depressive state. And the second option. To admit that he was afraid, in this case, it was the fear of self-presentation, the fear of being interviewed. Live this fear of yours and move on with life.

So, how to conquer your fear:

1. Take a leaf and write down your fears. Take an honest look within yourself and admit your fears. It happens that even such a simple acquaintance with fear is enough to let the fear go.
2. Describe the fear, what it is, what features it has, when it manifests itself, it intensifies.

Then, there are different options:

- you can draw fear (it helps a lot and not only children). Better to paint colored fear;

- you can blind him;

- you can dance it;

- You can play it. This is a pretty strong technique, I would not recommend doing it yourself, it is better under the supervision of a specialist. For example, one of my clients was afraid that she would go crazy. After some preparation, when she felt safe with me, I asked her to imagine herself as a mentally ill person who is in a psychiatric clinic. And 5 minutes to live as if she lost her mind.

It happens that this is enough. You looked your fear in the eye, saw that what you are afraid of is not so scary. If this is not enough, then move on to the next item.

Analysis of fear. Every fear has its own story, its own roots. Here is a client who was afraid of self-presentation, at school, experienced a very stressful, shameful situation for him. During a performance on March 8, he danced on stage and caught the costume on the set. The costume remained on the set, and the client was in his underpants in front of the entire school

It is important to understand and recognize the roots of your fear, because fear may no longer be relevant. You are already adults and already the opinion of your classmates about you is no longer so important, and the panties were cool. Perhaps now you already have ways to cope with this situation and the fear will recede.

It also happens that fear is not really ours, but instilled in us by a grandmother or aunt, for example. Another client of mine was afraid of elevators and always took the stairs. When analyzing the fear, it turned out that she was afraid not just of the elevator, but that someone would run into her elevator. We began to dig deeper and it turned out that her mother had been telling her since childhood every morning, accompanying her to school: “And remember, daughter, do not enter the elevator with other people's uncles, they can rape you or somehow offend you.” It turned out that the traumatic situation did not happen to herself, but to her mother. Fear simply passed on to her.

Understand what fear protects you from and find another way to protect yourself. It is also helpful to answer the question: What is my benefit from this fear? What do I get from this fear? After realizing your benefits, you continue to use it consciously, and the fear can gradually recede

I am not a supporter of the fear of "winning." Rather, you need to get to know him, accept him and let him go.

If, nevertheless, you cannot understand and live your fear on your own, call, and together with you we will find a way to make friends with him.