2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Determining what really moves you is only half of examining your values. Once you have decided on the values, they need to be given a move. It takes a certain amount of courage, but fearlessness cannot be the goal. The goal should be to enter fears directly, when you are guided by your own values and move towards what affects you. Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is to act in spite of fear.
When the Nazis took over Irena Sendler's hometown during World War II, the value of the aid that was so dear to her prompted her to provide shelter and feed her Jewish neighbor. The war continued, and Sendler and like-minded friends provided thousands of Jewish families with false documents, which helped them to leave the infamous Warsaw ghetto. Having falsified the documents of a social worker identifying patients with typhus, she herself began to secretly take the children out of the ghetto.
It was terrible, but she did not hesitate, even when the Gestapo arrested her and sentenced her to death. Then the guards helped her escape, and she hid. But instead of going into hiding, Sendler remained committed to her values and, taking great risks, continued to save Jewish children. She did not give up this work, even when it was easier and safer to hide and run away. But Sendler knew that values without action are common aspirations and do not reflect who we are in any way.
Your values-based actions can be life-and-death matters, or righteous reflections like "go to bed on time or watch a few more episodes of your favorite TV series." You still come to the so-called point of choice - a metaphorical crossroads on the path of your choice. The point of choice gives you the opportunity to analyze your problems and deal with them. You will go to meet your values and act like the person you want to be, or away from them (values) and act against them. The closer the choices are to your values, the more energetic, effective, and meaningful your life will become. Unfortunately, when we get hooked on hard thoughts, feelings, and situations, we begin to drift away from our values.
If you value a relationship and are hoping to join one, you can start driving that value through dating sites, take a chef or rock climbing course, or join a book club where you can meet someone who shares your interests. By insisting that you are too shy or worried to do this, you are allowing yourself to move in the exact opposite direction towards what you say you value.
If you want to be healthy, you need to start changing your diet, going to the gym, or at least walking and not using the elevator.
It doesn't have to be just an intellectual commitment. You need to really go and talk, that is, show yourself in action. When you are riding a bike, you can maintain your balance and stay upright only in motion. It's the same with values.
The article appeared thanks to the book "Emotional Agility" by Susan David
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