2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I often come across a situation where smart, beautiful, well-read people are very unhappy. And all because someone manipulates them, someone poisons life, etc. Reading literature on self-development and self-improvement plays a rather dubious role. On the one hand, the level of awareness is increasing. In speech, a beautiful scattering of pearls shimmers with many terms and specialized psychological words. On the other hand, a person falls into some kind of shell of his own, from which real life is poorly seen, and not very audible. And in general, if you do not want to accept me as I am, then I will hide in my house and come up with a fictional world.
All these great (no sarcasm) tips: "Love yourself", "Get out of toxic relationships", "Taking care of yourself is not selfishness," and so on. Begins to be misunderstood. Many will perceive it precisely as a call to the fact that I am beautiful no dispute, but everyone owes me. I do not offend, they hurt me.
It was not me who made my life miserable! This is to blame for moms, dads, husbands, children, neighbors, relatives, pets, the president, the country, the world and the universe in general. Those. external and only external factor. After all, a person works on himself, develops - he even reads books, listens to lectures. And, in the opinion of the inhabitant in the shell, he cannot be realized because the world is hostile.
And this is where the fun begins. Everyone who dislikes is branded. That daffodil, that hysterical woman. Here I have a toxic relationship, because a person does not fall at his feet for every eccentric whim of a 45-year-old lady / gentleman. Everyone makes life around you unbearable. And I am kind, good, I endure them and suffer from them. If you are in this situation, then you yourself want it. Answer yourself to the question why don't you leave if you feel so bad there? Why don't you look for a way out? What keeps you and why do you need it? Try to be completely honest with yourself in your answers.
Responsibility. Here is the golden word. Each person should be aware of his responsibility for each decision. For every step. This is your choice and only yours.
It was you who chose your husband, your profession, your job, your friends, etc. Not satisfied? - break off the relationship, but remember that it is your choice. Remember that any relationship is not a one-sided game. Be brave! Take responsibility for your words, behavior (even if it is ignored). Look the problem in the eye from a distance, soberly. Take a look at yourself and the situation from the outside.
Take responsibility for your life.
In reality, there is no good fairy who will wipe the tears from your eyes, wave a wand and wow a la - here is a prestigious well-paid job, always comforting / accepting / loyal friends, a prince / princess who appears from nowhere and is ready / wa to rip out her heart like Danko to light up your life path.
Adjust your locus of control. Do not attribute your failures solely to external factors. Don't shift responsibility for your life to others. She's yours. The quality of your life depends on it.
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