2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05
Full control over emotions - isn't that a desirable skill for most people? To stand firmly the smirks of fate, not to experience mental anguish, not to bend or break under any blows of fate and people. To be such an invincible samurai with an impenetrable face.
It is very profitable to live without emotions:
- You can do business with equanimity: "It's nothing personal, it's just business, baby."
- Stick to logic and organize your life perfectly. Doing what is important is necessary and correct. Enter the right university, marry the right person, work where they pay well.
But why then does this longing appear inside? A void that cannot be filled with anything …
It is a feeling of lack, deprivation and enduring hunger.
The price of insensibility is high - half life. As if smells and sounds suddenly disappeared. They used to be, but now they are not. You can live. But something is constantly missing. As if some important part of the personality froze.
The decision not to feel comes at different ages.
To someone in childhood. To stop feeling, to freeze - becomes for the child the only way to survive. In order not to get mad from the pain and horror he is experiencing, he “tightens the volume” of feelings, and so it leaves this sensor in the same position for life. For safety.
Becoming an adult, a person cannot get satisfaction in any way, nothing satiates him. He's looking for something all the time. Once realizing what he is looking for, and unable to find the lost part of himself, he begins to collect bit by bit the ability to rejoice, experience pleasure, and really want something.
The decision to drown out feelings, to shove all your experiences to hell, is also made in adulthood - as a reaction to the experienced pain, loss, disappointment. "I'll never again!" I won't love, I won't let anyone into my soul, I won't trust, I won't be such an idiot. Thanks, it hurts too much. I know that it is bad there, and I will not go there again.
And life begins in a spacesuit, in armor of one's own defenses, without allowing oneself to experience at least something. With a huge void inside.
Being alive is a big risk
We are afraid of feelings. They make us vulnerable.
Many of us have learned many tricks so as not to enter the zone of feelings, not to live them with full force:
Quickly get distracted and start doing something, no matter what.
Not realizing what is happening and allowing yourself to experience it, but dissipate the excitement through action.
Quickly switch to something else and go into the hustle and bustle. This allows you not to meet with strong emotions and not solve important issues for yourself.
In society, it is believed that "being busy is the best remedy for depression."
Many people fall into a state similar to drug addiction from their affairs, unconsciously striving to ensure that they do not have time for "unnecessary thoughts."
Drink, eat, smoke. Quickly relieve tension without even realizing what caused anxiety, which arose a second before an acute desire to push something into yourself - to pour, push or inhale.
All forms of addiction - alcoholism, smoking and overeating - are habitual defense mechanisms against emotions that a person prefers not to be aware of and not live through. Ways to respond to emotions.
Buy something … "Swallow" the next "necessary thing".
Stifle your emotional hunger for a while and feed your anxiety.
Have sex.
In this case, one's own body or the body of a partner is perceived simply as an object for manipulation. The role of the other person as a person in this process is very insignificant - it is simply used as a drug to calm down.
Find someone to bond with.
Just like a child is looking for a mommy who will take care of him and fill him with love, so many people are looking for this maternal or paternal object outside. Like chicks in a nest, their mouths are always open, and they are waiting for constant help, support and participation in their destiny. And here you often hear disappointment and reproaches that "he or she does not care about me, do not appreciate and do not like me."
Respond to shame, fear, guilt through aggression.
Aggressive flash helps release steam, relieve tension. But the problem, for the sake of which this tension has risen, is not being solved. All energy goes into "zilch".
As the body raises the temperature to defeat harmful germs, so the psyche raises the tension to solve the problem facing the individual. But instead of using energy to realize and solve the problem, the temperature is knocked down, and the steam is released into nowhere. Until a new attack.
The habit of not being fully aware of feelings leads to the fact that the person does not recognize the mental threat. He simply has an increasing need for medicines, food, cigarettes, alcohol.
It so happens that people cannot even hear their own anxiety. It seems to them that everything is fine, they just want to drink and eat, but they do not hear their own disturbing thoughts and feelings. And therefore, they cannot do anything to change the state of affairs
Our emotions are not only the reaction of the psyche, but also the reaction of the body. Any emotion is accompanied by certain sensations in the body
The human body is seriously involved in the experience of each emotion.
By silencing the psyche, we force the body to express these emotions for two. Thus, a psychosomatic symptom is formed.
If a person cannot afford to experience emotions with the help of the psyche, he will have to experience them with the help of the body
All psychosomatic symptoms are repressed, “not allowed to oneself” emotions.
Repeated many times, they form psychosomatic diseases.
Doctors identify a list of purely psychosomatic diseases, the so-called "Chicago seven diseases": hypertension, coronary heart disease, bronchial asthma, gastric ulcer and duodenal ulcer, ulcerative colitis, hyperthyroidism, diabetes mellitus.
These are the diseases in which the psychosomatic factor is the leading one. But more and more psychotherapists are inclined to believe that the decision to be sick or not to be sick with any disease remains with the person himself.
But it happens that the psychological protection from emotions is so great that a person does not even give the body an opportunity to get sick - to somehow live through the repressed feelings
And then, as in a boiling cauldron, the lid of which was screwed on with nuts, an explosion occurs.
Sudden deaths from strokes, heart attacks, cancer discovered for no reason at the last stage in seemingly healthy and young people is always a shock.
Life becomes the price of insensibility
For some reason, we are made sentient. And this our ability and peculiarity cannot be separated from us. This is our nature.
As long as we feel we are alive.
Recommended:
Ocean Of Love: Strong People Don't Cry
I once watched a movie in which a woman found out that she had cancer. She had two young daughters, and she wrote a list of things to do six months before her death. The first point: "Tell the girls that I love them." It seems she never did it … Natalia Polunina is a wonderful child psychologist.
Do Not Believe. Do Not Be Afraid. Do Not Ask. It's Safer This Way
She sat in a chair and talked about the past week. Work non-stop, constant calls, meetings, she had a migraine attack, during which (of course) she stayed at work. She looked habitually optimistic and agitated, and at the same time tired - also habitually.
That's It, Don't Cry, Calm Down
About a month ago, I happened to visit a private medical facility. When I had already completed my business, I decided to sit for a while in the main hall, where the reception is located and, accordingly, there are a lot of incoming and outgoing visitors.
Where Does The Myth Of Male Insensibility Lead To?
If you have already tried to “score, distract, drink, eat, check your health, undergo treatment”, and “does not let you go”, welcome to therapy. This seems to be how your emotional discomfort manifests itself. On the one hand, this is good.
I Don’t Miss, I Don’t Call, I Don’t Cry
There is such a Miracle in the world - psychotherapy. Its main miraculous property is that you go to therapy with a specific goal: to throw out all the "rubbish", to heal. But the whole trick is that you are healed when your "
