2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
She sat opposite, periodically looked towards the window and plunged into memories of childhood. Not the most pleasant ones.
Difficult process. Heavy.
It was painful for her. You could see how it was on her face: her eyes were averted, her eyes were moistened, her cheekbones clenched.
The last few sessions have taken place over 20 years ago. The room metaphorically filled with muddy water of bitter events, and two people in it, like divers, plunged.
Minute after minute, swallowing oxygen-support from the therapist, she floated through the waves of childhood. The session was coming to an end inexorably. There were a few minutes left.
- I never had a place of my own …. More precisely, I did not have my own room … We lived with my mother in a small room, and my mother's parents lived in others ….. Mmmmm …. The doors did not close at all …. Not one …. When a stressful situation arose, I could not hide and be alone …. I was persecuted and continued to criticize …. burst in … screaming ….
It was at this fateful moment that there was a knock on the door and abruptly opened it. The presence of the next client felt like a draft in this session. How symbolic!
Failure. Stupor. Horror. Tears.
All attempts to collect my thoughts and end the meeting did not lead to anything. It was evident that she was leaving in a state that was scattered like beads on the floor. There remained the hope that she would be strong enough to cope with this in reality. A lot has already been done in the work.
What had happened for a couple of weeks with Her became known only at the next meeting.
She shared her experiences: days of pain, despair, anger, resistance to come and a wild desire to sleep! "Tear off the head of the therapist."
And all these feelings were real. Just like then, more than 20 years ago. It was with them that the child, who was not protected, persecuted, was not given the opportunity to be with him, dealt with. A child who, although growing up wants revenge, has difficulty defining his external and internal boundaries, has problems with trust (unconscious trust) and quiet hidden pain.
What would help him in this situation?
Admitting a mistake. Open. Deep.
Thus, to give the Inner Child a feeling of care already "Here and Now", at least slightly compensating for his pain "Then". To give space for anger and living of the whole gamut of feelings, a breath of NEW experience and awareness of what is happening.
Her words were sharp:
- Having clarified the situation and admitting a mistake, you deprived me of the desire to take revenge on you. Without doing this, I would justifiably leave you and play my script again … and again … and again …
Now I don’t know what to do. How to live?"
Now her tension, tears, despair were not early childhood, associated with the fear of the new. New experience. Adults. Significantly like a drop of a tear …
And if it weren't for this open door in therapy, there might be no way out …..
* Confidentiality is preserved. The recording was made with permission and agreement with the client.
