2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
This technique is often used by psychotherapists during sessions, psychological counseling or group therapy. Also, active listening techniques are successfully used by managers to increase sales.
For the first time the concept of "active listening" was introduced into everyday life by the Soviet psychologist Julia Gippenreiter. She specialized in the psychology of perception, attention, family psychology. Active listening techniques, in her opinion, are of great importance in conversations with loved ones, in the family. Julia Gippenreiter published the book "The Miracles of Active Listening", in which she demonstrated the importance of such a skill as listening in accessible language and simple examples. Using this technique can position the interlocutor, relieve tension that has arisen, or create a calm, trusting atmosphere. With the help of this unique communication technique, you can achieve closeness with your child, become him not just a parent, but a friend.
Basic principles
Listening attentively is important not only for psychotherapists and psychologists. In everyday life, this skill is able not only to improve relationships with others, but also to learn a lot of new and interesting things. This can be explained by the fact that people are more willing to talk than listen. Thus, you will be able to favorably stand out from the rest. Active listening can be compared with empathy, that is, the ability to empathize and feel the emotions of the interlocutor. Thus, mutual understanding is achieved. Any person needs to feel important and significant, and genuine attention gives him this feeling. The active listening technique has many tricks in its arsenal. However, there are several fundamental principles that apply in all cases:
Neutral position … During the conversation, it is very important to try to refrain from evaluating the interlocutor or his opinion. Try to remain impartial, respect the opponent's personality and views;
Keep calm … A benevolent attitude towards the interlocutor is designed to ensure a conflict-free environment and atmosphere. When establishing eye contact, it is best to look into the eyes with courtesy and a little curiosity. During a psychotherapy session, it is best to try to encourage the patient to talk. To do this, you need to ask clarifying or leading questions, but not interrupt him;
Sincerity … When conducting a conversation, sincere interest is important not only in the topic of conversation, but also in the interlocutor himself. Even active listening techniques will not help if you do not want to listen to the person. You shouldn't start a serious and important conversation if you are tired or annoyed. In this situation, even the most sophisticated techniques cannot clarify the situation if you are not in the mood to listen carefully.
During a psychotherapy session or in simple conversation, formal politeness can never replace genuine interest. At the same time, you should not force a person to reveal his thoughts if he himself is in a bad mood.
It is important to focus more on words than emotions. After all, the ability to listen and be imbued with the feelings and mood of the interlocutor is akin to empathy. Therefore, you need to be able not to let other people's emotions take possession of you and try not to miss the essence of what was said.
Pauses --- Simple pauses can work wonders! They "push" the opponent to continue the monologue, give an additional opportunity to collect his thoughts. After that, the person can express what he did not initially plan to say.
"Eyes to eyes" Make eye contact during dialogue. It is best to make eye contact or focus on the eye-nose triangle. Eye movements can tell us about the other person's reaction to our words or gestures. Also, eye contact contributes to the formation of a more trusting atmosphere.
Clarification In some cases, clarification of what has already been said helps the interlocutor to more fully express his thought. This technique allows a person to hear what is said from the outside and additionally think over their words. Also, in everyday communication, this technique helps to avoid unnecessary "thinking" and innuendo.
"Retelling" A short but meaningful retelling allows the interlocutor to hear himself from the outside, to re-evaluate what was said and, if desired, to clarify or add something. At the same time, the listener tries to highlight the key moments in his opinion by intonation. This is done in order to let the interlocutor understand what exactly you heard from his monologue.
"Echo" This method of active listening involves repeating the last phrases of the interlocutor, but with an interrogative intonation. Thus, you kind of clarify the information. This method carries the following informational message: "Did I understand you correctly?"
Algorithm of actions
Active listening is a process. Therefore, to implement this technique in life, you must follow the basic rules. With their help, you can achieve the best result. Make eye contact. It is extremely important and helps to liberate the interlocutor and tune him into his own wave. Thus, you show your interest not only in the words of the person, but also in him. Try to show the other person that you are listening carefully. Do not be distracted by foreign objects or look him from head to toe. You can nod during a speech, ask clarifying questions. However, you need to be able to maintain a balance and not overdo it with "assent". Don't try to finish the thought in place of the other person. It doesn’t set you on the same wavelength, but it’s annoying. To achieve understanding, you can paraphrase the opponent's expressions, sincerely try to understand his feelings and experiences. The emotional aspect in some cases is much more important than the informational one. This tactic is especially necessary when talking to a child. Active listening can help the other person to believe in their worth. This technique is important for patients with low self-esteem, it helps to overcome certain problems and find ways to solve them.
Male-type hearing
Active listening, like any other method of psychotherapy, has its offshoots. This is what reflective listening is all about. This is a style of conversation, which implies active behavior of the interlocutors.
Reflexive listening is important for the accurate understanding of information and is attuned primarily to logic and reason. Most often, this style of conversation is used in business communication, when the analysis and collection of information is of paramount importance. This is a very important communication skill that can save you from destructive omissions or "misunderstandings."
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