2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
One of the American psychologists who spoke to colleagues in Moscow told such an expressive story. When he was a boy, his family lived on a farm. And then one day an unfamiliar horse wandered into the field. The father told the boy to walk around, finding out whose horse it was. The boy went out with the horse on the highway, but could not cope with it: he pulled her to one side, she resisted. So they fought for a while, until the boy got tired, and he decided to give her the opportunity to go where she wants, and follow her himself. The horse took him to his house, to a farm that the boy did not know, and when the owner asked how the boy managed to find him so quickly, he replied: "I was just listening to the horse."
Those who have pets always know what they want from their pets. We learn to listen and hear them. And we interact with the instinctive behavior of our animals. However, we do not hear ourselves so well.
American psychologists Robert and Jean Bayard call such an inner voice a kind of inner signalman. Psychologists say: “We are convinced that every time you turn your gaze outward in order to thus, ignoring your own inner signalman, determine for yourself a line of behavior that is consistent with external conditions, and not according to our inner convictions, you the most you are cheating on yourself. If you were truly receptive to your inner voice, you might hear it scream in pain every time you do it. Ideally, this inner “I” has a protector, and this protector is you, and when you fail to hear it, it means that you leave it, throw it without protection."
Often, people stop hearing the language of the inner signalman because of the emerging barriers, which are based on the fear of being misunderstood or the fear of being judged from the outside, being too defenseless and helpless.
As a result, clear, strong, definite signals of the inner "I", if they reach us, then in a distorted and weak form. They are expressed in the form of questions, impersonal statements or "You-", "You-", "We"-statements. So, the signal "I feel pain and resentment" can turn into a cry: "You bastard!" And, as Robert and Jean Bayard note, this not only drowns out the voice of the inner signalman, but also completely shifts the responsibility for the feelings felt to the person to whom the reply is addressed.
To learn to listen to the inner signalman, Robert and Jean Bayard recommend asking yourself the following questions most often:
- What I feel?
- What I can?
- What I want?
- What do I understand?
Concentrate your attention on taking care of your own suffering self, instead of diverting this attention to some external event. By keeping your attention on your own inner self, you can consult with it, find out what needs to be done to make it feel better, and how you should take care of it.
Learn to communicate with yourself correctly.
Based on the book by I. V. Stishenok
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