Mindful Listening Is A Whim Or Need In The Modern World

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Mindfulness penetrates deeper and deeper into the business environment, embraces all processes and requires more attention to itself. If at least once during a working meeting, business meeting or just a friendly conversation, you have caught yourself thinking that you have no idea what is at stake, then you should read on. Of course, you may be interested in the topic, but at the same time the mind goes on thinking about something else.

Our brains are quite “scattered” and our thoughts are “disobedient”, which is why the practice of mindful listening can become a fundamental part of meaningful and focused dialogue. Indeed, in order to capture everything said by the interlocutor, it is necessary to be in the present moment with the mind, to listen without evaluations and attempts to formulate an answer to a question that has not yet been asked.

What is "conscious listening" and how does it differ from the well-known "active"?

Mindfulness is the practice of focusing on the present moment without any judgment. This encourages the person to be aware of what is happening and let go of worries or anxieties, as well as any physical and emotional reactions that may arise from external stimuli.

As we listen in this way, we must fully focus on our partner, and use our senses to better understand his words and feelings. At the same time, it is necessary to remain impartial and interested in the topic. Otherwise, we can ignore the words and actions of the interlocutor.

According to research, the average person remembers only 25% of what they heard a few minutes ago. The purpose of mindful listening is to stop the ever-running thoughts in order to hear and understand the content of the message that the interlocutor puts in, and not a personal interpretation.

Benefits of mindful listening

As the American author David Ogsberger said:

“Being heard” is so similar to “being loved” that we hardly distinguish it

Personal benefits of mindful listening:

1. Helps develop empathy

   Empathy is the ability to consciously empathize with the current emotional state of another person without losing a sense of the reasons for these experiences. Practicing mindful listening, we spend time and energy to put ourselves in someone else's position, to really listen to what the other is saying, and to understand his motives that lie outside the boundaries of this dialogue.

2. Develops self-awareness

   Part of mindful listening is the ability to understand yourself well in order to build strong relationships with others. If we are able to totally engage in the conversation, then the partner reveals to us those sides of his that would obviously have been overlooked with formal participation. The better we understand others and ourselves, respectively, the stronger and more trusting our relationship is.

3. Improves focus of attention

   By practicing mindfulness with mindfulness listening, we transfer this skill to other areas of our lives. Gradually, the mind "learns" to calm down and pay attention only to what is happening now.

Professional benefits of mindful hearing:

1. Improves the quality of communication with colleagues, develops cooperation and initiative

   With proper communication with colleagues, you will be able to listen to each other without judgment and receive more opinions and ideas regarding various projects. And close-knit collaboration leads to increased team productivity.

2. Helps build stronger business relationships

   As conscious listeners, we, as it is fashionable to say, “connect” with others not just by spending time on understanding words, but also the reasons why people share this information with us. This understanding brings together and makes the working relationship more reliable.

3. Increases loyalty to the organization because employees feel appreciated and their opinions are taken into account.

4. Improves observation, thereby allowing you to select the best candidates for work projects and delegate tasks to them

   When we apply mindfulness listening, we notice more subtle and valuable nuances in the speech of the interlocutor. For example, you may notice that an employee pays more attention to the project when it comes to numbers, and another one when developing alternative development strategies.

5. Allows the negotiation to focus on the interests of the parties, and not on their positions.

   Examples of mindful listening:

• Repeat in your own words what your partner said. This is not just a paraphrase, but a clarification of meanings and understanding. In this way, you will demonstrate your involvement and involvement in the dialogue.
• Encourage the other person to talk more using non-verbal cues (nodding, smiling) and asking them directly to tell you more. By doing this, you show interest and add value to what is said.
• Take care to be physically on the same level with the interlocutor. Don't “hang” over your partner and don't let “hang” over you. Try to ensure eye contact is at the same level - literally, and in a figurative sense, you will be at the same level.
• If you intentionally or accidentally interrupt your partner, apologize and let him finish his thought.
• Often we are in a dialogue and think about what to say next, while the other says. Instead, let your partner finish your speech and try to remain open-minded.
• After that, take a short pause to think about what you heard and formulate an answer. Use this time to perceive information without labels and ratings, to verify that you are "on the same wavelength." Often a deep breath in and out helps with this.
• Before you start a conversation, tune in, feel the intention to listen with awareness. Remind yourself that now you will devote some time to the other person, be very attentive to his words and show respect for the fact that the person is wasting their time with you.
• If you are not able to fully pay attention to your partner at the moment, choose another time for the conversation. It's okay to ask to reschedule a meeting. Thus, you will show that not only the interlocutor is valuable, but also his offer.
• Set aside distracting gadgets (phone, tablet, etc.). There is nothing worse than trying to convey information to a person who is obsessed with their phone. This is not only about the depreciation of the other, but also about the reduction of his status.
• Encourage dialogue by asking open-ended questions. This makes it possible to deepen this conversation, to find additional topics for a new one or points of contact in the future.
• Allow the speaker to complete sentences, rather than be tempted to do it for them. You need to hear what the interlocutor wants to say, and not show your ability to “read minds”. By the way, the ending may be completely opposite to your ideas. Let the speaker pause to think about what you want to say next. In the meantime, appreciate what you have heard.
• Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and sensations in the body that arise during the conversation. Remember not only about the interlocutor, but also about yourself at the moment, track how the conversation affects your well-being. Do you agree with everything and are therefore relaxed? Or is there something that causes resistance and tension?
• Pay attention to the intonation and non-verbal manifestations of the interlocutor. Learn to set rapport to make the conversation comfortable.

Techniques for developing mindful listening

Practice of Mindful Listening

Find yourself a partner to start practicing. Each of you should take turns talking continuously for 3 minutes. Don't worry about the topic, just talk about what you want for three minutes. It's okay if you run out of words and still have time. You can take a few pauses to collect your thoughts. Once your time is up, allow your partner to speak for 3 minutes without interrupting. Repeat the practice at least twice so that everyone has time to talk. Then discuss your feelings.

Interrupt your business, whatever it is, and just listen.

Sounds simple enough. But here you need to remember about concentration and not let your mind wander through the expanses of fantasy. Set the time you are willing to spend practicing mindfulness listening, make a schedule, and stick to it. For example, every day from 10 am to 11 am you practice, so you will stop as soon as someone calls you. If it's only 5 minutes, that's fine, but make sure your mind doesn't really wander during the conversation. Don't try to evaluate or analyze the other person's ideas, just take them in.

Mindfulness practice

If you have a minute to do the exercise while sitting, then this is for you. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and imagine a place where you feel completely calm and peaceful. Move mentally to this place and stay there for 1 minute (5, 10, 15). At first, it can be difficult to stay in your resting place without being distracted, but over time you will learn to quickly switch to this state. Notice that worrying thoughts appear less and less often and do not cause violent reactions in you. Being able to let go of yourself is an important first step in allowing you to clearly hear and see other people.

Focusing practice

This practice is popular in Western philosophy and psychology. To fully concentrate, you need to have three skills (qualities): intuition, self-awareness and the ability to be in the moment. Their development will allow you to understand your own and someone else's life experience, make decisions and be responsible for them. Get into a comfortable sitting or standing position. Relax, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for 1 minute. Try to feel as much as possible how the air passes through the respiratory tract, its temperature, try not to think about anything other than breathing. Repeat the practice regularly.

All of these techniques are aimed at developing patience and mindfulness. They also have pleasant side effects in the form of stronger relationships, calmness, and increased observation. Practice mindful listening every day until it comes naturally to you.